Dialogue Tags

K_Remington · Jul 22, 2018

When I was about halfway through my current manuscript, I noticed that I have no consistency with my dialogue tags. Sometimes I use

"blah blah," said Bob -- [Verb] then [Name]

and other times I use

"blah blah," Bob said -- [Name] then [Verb]

I can't explain why, but sometimes one feels more natural than the other in the given context, so I left everything as it was and made a note to figure things out later. Cut to now (later). I tried to Google this issue but didn't see much out there. I cracked open a handful of books, and almost all use [Name] then [Verb]. A couple use [Verb] then [Name], and one (Grapes of Wrath) is all over the place without any discernible pattern.

My question is, should this be something to worry about, particularly if I'm looking to eventually submit to an agent/editor?

novicewriter · Jul 22, 2018

Yeah. I've caught myself doing that, too...the joys of editing... :evil

According to this website, you can choose to use either of them, but you'll have to be consistent and continue to use that same order of the verb and the character's name, throughout your manuscript.

From https://www.scribophile.com/academy/he-said-she-said-dialog-tags-and-using-them-effectively

She said or said she?

No, that’s not a tongue twister. It’s a common question about dialogue tag syntax. The truth is, both are correct, although placing the verb before the noun or pronoun (said she) is used less often today and in some circles considered archaic. It does seem to be in more general use in UK English. Which way a writer chooses may also depend on the genre or style. For instance, using “said she” in a science fiction novel would likely seem misplaced, but in a Regency romance it might be just right. Above all, a writer should strive to be consistent.

nickj47 · Jul 22, 2018

IMO the reader won't even see 'Bob said', but 'said Bob' will be noticed. If it's part of your writer's voice, it's probably fine. I use it sparingly, almost never with a proper name or pronoun though, normally only with a title or description of the character (e.g. 'said the lieutenant.', 'said the robot.')

lizmonster · Jul 22, 2018

novicewriter said:
Yeah. I've caught myself doing that, too...the joys of editing...

According to this website, you can choose to use either of them, but you'll have to be consistent and continue to use that same order of the verb and the character's name, throughout your manuscript.

From https://www.scribophile.com/academy/he-said-she-said-dialog-tags-and-using-them-effectively

I think how jarring this is depends on whether you're talking about a pronoun or a proper name. "said Jane" sounds ordinary; "said she" feels a bit archaic.

That said, it seems weird to me to insist on consistency throughout the MS. It's all down to the rhythm of a particular sentence, and what fits the passage.

relletyrots · Jul 22, 2018

I'm definitely the all over the place writer. I have to say that I did notice that, but never heard of the need to be consistent (in this case). I actually like to vary my tags, based of what I think reads better in context. I also enjoy variation in order as a reader.

However, I don't know if that's advisable, or even acceptable. So I'll leave the answering task for more experienced people than I. Just wanted to throw my voice in there, so you'll know you're not alone.

Clovitide · Jul 22, 2018

Said she I automatically read as 'she said' in my head. Sometimes I do that to mix it up, but find it completely off putting and change it anyway on the edits

blacbird · Jul 22, 2018

nickj47 said:
IMO the reader won't even see 'Bob said', but 'said Bob' will be noticed.

This, at least for a lot of readers. The "said Bob" construction just sounds archaic and precious, and, today, calls attention to itself. The "Bob said" construction is transparent, if not invisible.

But, for dialogue attribution, start by looking hard at whether or not you even need a tag. If who is speaking is obvious from the dialogue itself, chances are you don't need a tag at all.

caw

K_Remington · Jul 22, 2018

lizmonster said:
I think how jarring this is depends on whether you're talking about a pronoun or a proper name. "said Jane" sounds ordinary; "said she" feels a bit archaic.

Yeah, it's never "said he" or "said she." Only actual names after "said."

Interesting to hear everyone's thoughts. I might consider just changing everything to "Bob said" since it's more of the norm. For whatever reason though, a fair number of instances of "said Bob" sound better to my ear.

BethS · Jul 22, 2018

It's probably best to be consistent, whichever you choose. Fwiw, I always use the "Bob said" construction unless the sentence calls for it to be reversed. (... , said Bob, who had never imagined a dragon could speak, let alone read.)

be frank · Jul 22, 2018

lizmonster said:
That said, it seems weird to me to insist on consistency throughout the MS. It's all down to the rhythm of a particular sentence, and what fits the passage.

+1

Ellis Clover · Jul 23, 2018

lizmonster said:
That said, it seems weird to me to insist on consistency throughout the MS. It's all down to the rhythm of a particular sentence, and what fits the passage.

+2

I remember when I first joined AW and read similar advice on this (to be consistent), which gave me pause - so I started paying close attention in the books I read. It's overwhelmingly all over the place in contemporary published books. Emphasis is key (ie, when who's saying a thing ['said X'], rather than what's being said ['X said'] requires emphasis. Also, BethS's example). Rhythm is key. Voice is obviously key. Personal preference is totally legitimate (though I would personally never use 'said she/he' unless I was going for a very particular effect).

EDIT: From the comments, everyone seems to have their own approaches. Maybe pick up a few books in your chosen genre/s and see how those writers do it?

Harlequin · Jul 23, 2018

It is completely fine to mix them up.

Go with what sounds best when spoken aloud (natural rhythm).

benbenberi · Jul 23, 2018

As a reader I pay absolutely no attention to whether it's "Bob said" or "said Bob." As a writer, I pay attention to the rhythm and emphasis in a particular instance, and none to consistency through the whole work. I just don't think it matters much.

angeliz2k · Jul 23, 2018

Both constructions are fine and equally invisible, and you can mix them up however you want. There's no need to consistently use one or the other. It depends on the flow of the sentence.

DanielSTJ · Jul 23, 2018

angeliz2k said:
Both constructions are fine and equally invisible, and you can mix them up however you want. There's no need to consistently use one or the other. It depends on the flow of the sentence.

I'm glad this is the case. It feels restrictive to only use one.

Carrie in PA · Jul 23, 2018

lizmonster said:
That said, it seems weird to me to insist on consistency throughout the MS. It's all down to the rhythm of a particular sentence, and what fits the passage.

+3

Vhb_Rocketman · Jul 23, 2018

K_Remington said:
Yeah, it's never "said he" or "said she." Only actual names after "said."

Interesting to hear everyone's thoughts. I might consider just changing everything to "Bob said" since it's more of the norm. For whatever reason though, a fair number of instances of "said Bob" sound better to my ear.

If it sounds better then I would leave it as is. In my mind you don't want to limit yourself to constantly using the same dialog tag. I actually try to mix it us. Doesn't mean I alway use a different tag, but I am aware of which ones I've used and try to see if a different one sounds better.

Before I started writing I never noticed the changing dialog tags. Since I started writing I've come across a number of instances where the author switches to “said Tom". And it makes sense in those cases. So if it works, use it.

Dialogue Tags

K_Remington

novicewriter

nickj47

lizmonster

Possibly A Mermaid Queen

relletyrots

The One Who Tells The Story

Clovitide

blacbird

K_Remington

BethS

be frank

not a bloke, not named frank

Ellis Clover

watching The Office again

Harlequin

Eat books, not brains!

benbenberi

practical experience, FTW

angeliz2k

never mind the shorty

DanielSTJ

The Wandering Bard

Carrie in PA

Write All The Words!

Vhb_Rocketman