Tips for a virgin writing sex scenes

deceangli

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Some great advice above, especially about inferring rather than always being explicit.

I'm a non-virgin male (actually, I think I might have a bit of virginity left over but I've been married 25 years, so it's elusive). The stuff which gets me dreaming is always about context rather than the physical act. I think that's why so many female sexy costumes are subordinate roles - schoolgirl, nurse, secretary - the uniform quickly gets a story started in the observer's head. I don't think those roles are coincidence, I suspect that status relationships matter a lot to many people. Likewise with very masculine uniforms - again, there's a ready-made story to get us started.

What makes a scene erotic has something to do with power, I think, and everything to do with the way the sexual tension builds. My two penn'orth, anyway.

PS please don't bully me for saying those roles are subordinate - you know what I mean, some people view them in that light / it's a common societal shorthand, etc. I'm married to a nurse, and she's definitely in charge in our house :)
 
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Pencrafter

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I remember when I was a virgin. The fantasies I had were pretty hot to me, and by the time I could practice them, the women I was with seemed to think they were pretty hot too. It’s great to have that vindication. But until you’re there, I think that your notions of what sex could be are every bit as valid as anyone else’s regardless of how experienced at the mechanics they are.

People are fond of saying that the mind is the biggest sex organ, or the most important one. Maybe that’s true. Some people also believe in the “body mind,” meaning that our bodies also have an intelligence which enhances the brain’s contributions.

When you write erotic stories, does your body respond? Does that response inform what the brain thinks?

Be in the moment and don’t be bashful about getting your freak on in your stories.

That’s my 2 cents.