Shoehorns in love

starrystorm · Jul 16, 2018

I usually prefer a romantic subplot in my stories. I have two in my current WIP. The first with my MMC I had planned from the beginning and is easy to write. But then came my FMC. I must have tried four different love interests before I just picked one. Turns out, she found him annoying and so did I. Then I found the right guy and was going to make them meet in a sequel. Long story short, the sequel fell apart, so I crammed him into book one (a standalone) and got rid of Mr. Annoying. I added the new love interest in while in the middle of my second draft. I don't want the romance to feel "shoehorned." So my question is, what makes a romantic subplot feel crammed in at the last second?

The new guy's main job is standing as a living version of her old job since they both work similar jobs.

ValerieJane · Jul 16, 2018

starrystorm said:
I usually prefer a romantic subplot in my stories.

This makes me wonder if you are adding a romantic interest for the female MC because you think it will make her story more compelling, or because you just prefer that there is one. If it's the former, then it shouldn't feel shoehorned because the romantic subplot should be woven in seamlessly to the main plot. If it's the latter, you run the risk of it feeling shoehorned. Based on the sound of your post, it sounds like the latter to me.

The key to a romantic subplot, I think, is that it should occur naturally. It should feel like it's supposed to happen, that there is undeniable chemistry. The romantic subplot should ultimately serve the main plot. It should help drive home the idea of the main conflict, make things more complicated for the MC to achieve their main goal. I would encourage you to think about how your romantic subplots serve your main plot. As long as they have purpose, they shouldn't feel forced.

starrystorm · Jul 16, 2018

Some good things to think about. I'll review my plans and see what I have him doing that changes the plot dramatically. Originally I wrote the story without him. Sigh. I like his character, but if I can't make him change the plot or find what he does that's meaningful then...goodbye.

Again, I haven't reread the entire story with him in it, so I guess when I do I can see if it flows or drags the whole thing down. Personally I can argue that he fits the story by bringing the FMC into her old life and giving her motives to get her goal done. On the other hand, do I really need him to? Once my FMC wants something, she won't stop at anything to get it.

I'll check *cough-make-cough* the outline. Thanks.

frimble3 · Jul 16, 2018

And, just because the MMC has a love interest, doesn't mean the FMC has to have one, too. If this guy has something useful to do, maybe just make him a secondary character and leave it at that?

starrystorm · Jul 16, 2018

Thanks, frimble3. I guess she doesn't have to have one. It just felt weird that she was the main main character and didn't have a love interest. (The book's about her journey, and the MMC gets the chapters she can't tell).

maybe just make him a secondary character

Does that mean not make him a love interest? Or make him not do something super important? He doesn't really come up all that often.

Honestly, and stupidly, the main thing I am worried about is how this will drop my already low word count if I get rid of him or cut some scenes with him. The love interest subplot must have given me an additional 5,000 words. Then I'll be back at 60K. But I think cutting him might be my best option. Or let him show up at the beginning and end as a marker for how far my FMC has grown on her journey.

CoffeeBeans · Jul 17, 2018

starrystorm said:
Honestly, and stupidly, the main thing I am worried about is how this will drop my already low word count if I get rid of him or cut some scenes with him. The love interest subplot must have given me an additional 5,000 words. Then I'll be back at 60K. But I think cutting him might be my best option. Or let him show up at the beginning and end as a marker for how far my FMC has grown on her journey.

I feel you on the idea of trying to keep your word count up BUT... other than be a love interest, what is this guy doing? from the framing of the question, it doesn't sound like the tension/chemistry with the FMC is off the charts where you have him join the story now (reasonable enough if he was supposed to join the story in a different way later).

What service is he providing to the FMC as a character (from your writer point of view) and what service is he doing for the story itself?

If he shows up only to be romanced and the FMC doesn't really need him for character advancement (and maybe if she can use him to further her character but that's all he does) I'd think you should reevaluate his role.

For the worry about word count - if the chemistry is good and he provides good help to your FMC, give him some work to do in the story and he won't feel like an afterthought.

pingle · Jul 17, 2018

With your word count being on the low side you have lots of wiggle room here. Step back and see if the book is missing something. There doesn't have to be love, in fact I think a query that focused on friendship would stand out against the deluge of romantic subplots. Equally if you feel they have chemistry, develop it, but definitely give this guy a tangible reason for being in the book beyond being a crush.

starrystorm · Jul 17, 2018

that focused on friendship

Originally, it did focus on friendship. My FMC accidentally injuries her best friend in chapter one and the story is about healing that mistake. It still is.

what is this guy doing?

CoffeeBeans, after some thought, I cannot really think of anything he does that is important as of now. He does save her life once, and convinces the FMC to go back and help the MMC. But anyone could do that.

Really, besides the word count issue, I just needed another male character so they do not seem outnumbered. I think the best thing to do is cut him. It will be hard, but he is not the first to go. Maybe I will add in small scenes with him and not force him into a major role. I still do not know if the love interest thing will work out though. Maybe she only likes him at the last chapter which takes place a month later. Thanks, everyone. Much to consider, but I think cutting him though is my best choice.

Shoehorns in love

Heckuva good sport