Sweet or creepy way to honor her parents

The Second Moon

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 12, 2018
Messages
3,393
Reaction score
356
Website
mimistromauthor.com
In my newest novella idea people, objects, and animals can have their souls removed and the souls become a powerful version of them (the original body dies in nine days) But anyway, I have this woman who is a soul of a mountain and she and her husband can't have kids because she is a soul and he's human. But they really want kids, so the wife, whose beloved adoptive parents died when she was a young adult, wants to honor her parents by turning their wedding rings into souls so they can be her children. She does this and her children, who are 15 when the story starts, dream of what the wedding rings would have seen. Sometimes the dreams fade, but the mother and father of the children think it is sweet that the children can dream of their grandparents who died before they were born. But is it sweet or creepy? Should I not make them the souls of the wedding rings or is this something that could be interesting? The dreams could also help the children get out of dangerous situations, because their grandparents were cops or something like that.
 

relletyrots

The One Who Tells The Story
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 25, 2017
Messages
198
Reaction score
39
Location
Mostly inside my own head.
In my newest novella idea people, objects, and animals can have their souls removed and the souls become a powerful version of them (the original body dies in nine days) But anyway, I have this woman who is a soul of a mountain and she and her husband can't have kids because she is a soul and he's human. But they really want kids, so the wife, whose beloved adoptive parents died when she was a young adult, wants to honor her parents by turning their wedding rings into souls so they can be her children. She does this and her children, who are 15 when the story starts, dream of what the wedding rings would have seen. Sometimes the dreams fade, but the mother and father of the children think it is sweet that the children can dream of their grandparents who died before they were born. But is it sweet or creepy? Should I not make them the souls of the wedding rings or is this something that could be interesting? The dreams could also help the children get out of dangerous situations, because their grandparents were cops or something like that.

It's all about presentation and execution. The way you presented it here, it seems sweet to me. I can see how it can become creepy, but only if you take it there, and you really don't have to.

Bottom line: if you don't make it creepy, it won't be creepy.

Good luck with your novella!
 

Shoeless

Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 18, 2009
Messages
2,308
Reaction score
295
I actually think that fact that it could interpreted as either sweet or creepy makes for an excellent point of discussion/theme within the story. Anything can be positive or negative based on perception or use, and that's where great ideas come from.
 

Brightdreamer

Just Another Lazy Perfectionist
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Apr 22, 2012
Messages
12,988
Reaction score
4,544
Location
USA
Website
brightdreamersbookreviews.blogspot.com
I actually think that fact that it could interpreted as either sweet or creepy makes for an excellent point of discussion/theme within the story. Anything can be positive or negative based on perception or use, and that's where great ideas come from.

+1

I'd consider it an idea to explore in-story. Things that seem sweet to one person or culture can come across as creepy, or even outright horrifying, to another; exploring how different people (or souls) perceive this relationship can make for some nice story-meat.
 

relletyrots

The One Who Tells The Story
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 25, 2017
Messages
198
Reaction score
39
Location
Mostly inside my own head.
I actually think that fact that it could interpreted as either sweet or creepy makes for an excellent point of discussion/theme within the story. Anything can be positive or negative based on perception or use, and that's where great ideas come from.

I agree. Conflict is a story that writes itself. OP, the point is, you can make the story whatever you want. You can incorporate one interpretation or the other, or both, or none, or more that we haven't thought about yet. But don't worry about the story turning into something you don't want it to be. Learn to control it.

And again, I agree with Shoeless and Brightdreamer. Unless you don't want your story to have that creepy element, you can use the contrast to move the story further.
 

Sage

Currently titleless
Staff member
Moderator
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 15, 2005
Messages
64,599
Reaction score
22,436
Age
43
Location
Cheering you all on!
I was having a hard time understanding the concept behind this. I read this as people had souls removed and put in powerful objects, so that a woman's soul was removed and put into a mountain. And I was having a hard time understanding how, if they couldn't have children, they could put those children's souls into a pair of rings (and I totally envisioned these kids as living as a ring). So anyway, just mentioning it so you can be aware of the problem when describing it in the book (obviously, they'll be walking around and it won't be a quick and dirty description of what's going on).

So once I got it, after several rereads, my next question is that if the old body dies in 9 days, did she destroy the physical rings to make the children? Did a whole mountain just disappear one day? You say "can have their souls removed," but who's doing the removing? What's the difference between a soul walking around as a woman and a human walking around as a woman?

I think this is another idea you have that is full of potential conflicting emotions. The mother might feel she's done her parents proud by making these rings into their grandchildren, might be sad she's destroyed the physical objects they wore, might be worried about inflicting another's memories on her kids, might find it sweet that they can relive that love. The kids might have difficulty understanding some of the memories they see, they might see the memories as a burden or as something to treasure (maybe both, maybe differently at different times of their lives, maybe each has an opinion), might feel like their childhood was stolen, might feel inferior or superior being a soul instead of human, being a ring instead of a mountain, might compare every romantic relationship with that of their grandparents, might see aspects of their grandparents that their mother doesn't even know...
 

The Second Moon

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 12, 2018
Messages
3,393
Reaction score
356
Website
mimistromauthor.com
Sorry if I didn't explain this well enough. Objects. People, and animals all contain souls. The souls can be turned into humans with abilities. For example, one of my characters used to be a mountain by was turned into a powerful person. People can't become objects. And you are right Sage. The children might see parts of their grandparents the mom doesn't know about. So I have brainstormed up more ideas about what the children could be souls of. Maybe the mom doesn't need to honor her parents. Maybe they could be something from nature like mountains, like their mom because she liked the dream\ memories of being a mountain. What do you think?
 

Sage

Currently titleless
Staff member
Moderator
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 15, 2005
Messages
64,599
Reaction score
22,436
Age
43
Location
Cheering you all on!
I’m definitely not saying that you shouldn’t use the rings. I’m saying that you’re focusing on sweet versus creepy & ignoring all the wonderful other emotions you could delve into from the situation. You have these really interesting concepts but seem afraid to mine those concepts for complications & conflict. Complications & conflict are gold in a story. Let your characters deal with them instead of revising the plot to avoid them.
 

relletyrots

The One Who Tells The Story
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 25, 2017
Messages
198
Reaction score
39
Location
Mostly inside my own head.
I’m definitely not saying that you shouldn’t use the rings. I’m saying that you’re focusing on sweet versus creepy & ignoring all the wonderful other emotions you could delve into from the situation. You have these really interesting concepts but seem afraid to mine those concepts for complications & conflict. Complications & conflict are gold in a story. Let your characters deal with them instead of revising the plot to avoid them.
+1. Listen to the Sage.

The children might see parts of their grandparents the mom doesn't know about. So I have brainstormed up more ideas about what the children could be souls of. Maybe the mom doesn't need to honor her parents. Maybe they could be something from nature like mountains, like their mom because she liked the dream\ memories of being a mountain. What do you think?
If there are things that the children might know but shouldn't, you can simply write the story to reflect that. For example, maybe the transformation from rings to humans made their memories fuzzy, and all they remember are random bits and pieces (this can even elevate the storytelling if you use it right.) Or perhaps their grandparents didn't wear the rings when they did certain things, because they knew about the souls inside the rings, and didn't want to expose their actions to them? There are countless options, and one should really know the story to suggest the best one. But in any case, I don't think you should throw away the rings idea just because of a little possible complication. We're writers--we cherish conflict, not run away from it.
 

The Second Moon

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 12, 2018
Messages
3,393
Reaction score
356
Website
mimistromauthor.com
Thanks for all the input, but I think I've got it figured out. I really just wanted for the children's memories of being an object to help them get out of sticky situations, not to give them any more problems than they already have. And something has been bothering me about them being rings before. I think I know what it is. It is the fact that they would be seeing their grandparents lives and their mom's childhood which I don't like and I think that that wouldn't fit with my world. So, i have come up with a solution. The children will be the souls of their grandparents' police badges since they were police officers. Yes, that feels right and will fit my purpose for having them be souls. Also it will still leave a little room for conflict because they can wonder if their mom just created them because she wanted to have a little bit of their grandparents in them. Again thanks for all the input.
 

Sage

Currently titleless
Staff member
Moderator
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 15, 2005
Messages
64,599
Reaction score
22,436
Age
43
Location
Cheering you all on!
It also might depend on what age group your story targets. In a children's story I’d be more likely to accept that the memories were all helpful, with no baggage involved. An adult novel, it would feel like an easy-way-out to have their memories only help & never cause distress.
 

The Second Moon

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 12, 2018
Messages
3,393
Reaction score
356
Website
mimistromauthor.com
It is YA. And I think the children being the souls of police badges would affect them because every night they would dream of police stuff from giving out speeding tickets to investigating murder. That would definitely make a child who they are.
 

Sage

Currently titleless
Staff member
Moderator
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 15, 2005
Messages
64,599
Reaction score
22,436
Age
43
Location
Cheering you all on!
It is YA. And I think the children being the souls of police badges would affect them because every night they would dream of police stuff from giving out speeding tickets to investigating murder. That would definitely make a child who they are.

Exactly. And possibly seeing people get shot, seeing the dark side of those investigations, seeing the exact world that their grandparents get involved in that get them into the dangerous situations you want the memories to help the teens get out of.

I suspected this was YA. What I was saying before wasn't that children wouldn't be affected by the memories, but that the younger your intended audience, the more you could ignore that aspect for the "isn't this cool?" aspect of having the memories help them only. But in YA, your audience is going to wonder if you don't also have conflict coming out of the memories, whether it's the trauma of seeing someone killed in front of you, or some suggestion that the grandparents were idealized by the mom but the memories show that they weren't as perfect as she paints them, or that one of the badges knows something of consequence that the other is in the dark about, etc. If they only serve to help the kids and not to provide conflict, they become deus ex machinas.
 

The Second Moon

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 12, 2018
Messages
3,393
Reaction score
356
Website
mimistromauthor.com
Sorry guys, but I have decided to get rid of the novella idea. You see I've already have 5 other series in my head I am planning to write, and while I was planning the one about the souls. I remembered a story I thought of in middle school (yes my memory is scary good) and I fell in love with those characters more then the ones in this one. I hope you guys understand being writers and all.