Many thanks for all the ideas and keep ‘em coming! There’ll definitely be a couple of dodgy reviews and the financial shenanigans would tie in nicely with the owners’ habit of living waaaaay beyond their means.

Need to look into UK tax stuff. I’m out with some former colleagues tomorrow night and one used to be a trainee accountant, so her brain will get picked. Even if she doesn’t know/can’t remember the nitty-gritty, she’ll hopefully be able to point me in the right direction.

I also need need to work out exactly how to plant something to cause food poisoning. Another friend had campylobacter from eating unpasteurised cheeses in France, which by all accounts was a prolonged and unpleasant experience...