I'm trying to be as involved as i can and i will admit he is doing the heavy lifting hes doing something i cant do. I'm good with ideas I'm good with coming up with sceans and situations good at characters but I'm for shit at stringing it all together into something coherent. i try to be involved but we just end up going back and forth over minor details heck we argued about hard and soft sifi for like 4 hours..in the end all i really want to know is it fair to expect that he does it my way at lest a little or should i just step back give him my characters and hope in the end i actually like it enough to read it to the end
TBH, this has all sorts of yellow, orange, and red flags waving about it on multiple levels, from pure craft to relationship and trust and everywhere in between.
Sometimes, two people just cannot click creatively, even if they gel in other areas of life. Even if they're in love. This sounds like one of those times. Many writer collabs are strictly professional, or no more than platonic, possibly for this very reason: creative endeavors are their own beast and require their own chemistry.
For whatever reason, as this has taught you both, your visions are unlikely to mesh over this, and forcing the issue sounds like a good way to strain the rest of your relationship, the areas where you do click. (Unless this is indicative of greater communication or control issues, which I won't go near with a ten foot pole, as you know your relationship better than anyone on this board ever could.)
IMHO, it seems you have three options:
1 - Write it yourself to your own standards, even if it requires finding another writing partner.
2 - Step back and let him write it himself, to his own standards (ditto on the possibility of an outside writing partner for him, too.)
3 - Both of you give it up as a bad job and walk away, now, before either of you become more entrenched over your relative positions.
Again, IMHO, I think 3 might be the one to try, at least for now.
Collaboration, bouncing ideas off each other... it just plain doesn't seem to be working. The tools you two are bringing to the table are just incompatible. The harder you try to drive screws into a board with a hammer, the more damage you do to the screw, the hammer, and the board.