What is the correct way to write this?

The only mistakes I see in either of these sentences is p.m. should be pm or PM.

I'd choose the first. The first is a full sentence plus a fragment; the second is a run-on.

Cindyt said:

The only mistakes I see in either of these sentences is p.m. should be pm or PM.

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The Chicago Manual of Style suggests lower-case abbreviations (a.m. and p.m.), but I've seen it your way as well.

Agree with lizmonster on both counts.

An alternative might be It's late: 11 p.m. But I'm not 100% on that.

Helix said:

Agree with lizmonster on both counts.

An alternative might be It's late: 11 p.m. But I'm not 100% on that.

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See, I like the colon, but I have a punctuation problem.

Yeah, the colon's just fine. AM/PM, am/pm, and a.m./p.m. are all correct. The most important things to remember are to be consistent and to follow house style.

I'm rather fond of a.m. and p.m. myself.

The Associated Press Stylebook:
4 p.m.

The Chicago Manual of Style
4 p.m. (recommended)
Also 4 PM or 4 P.M. (with PM in small capitals)

Garner's Modern English Usage:
4 p.m. or 4 PM (with PM in small capitals)

The Gregg Reference Manual:
4 p.m. or 4 P.M. (with PM in small capitals)

So, yeah, I should have placed the am and pm in small caps.

Honestly, unless you're writing for a specific market that requests a specific style, it doesn't matter.

What's important is that you are consistent.

The typesetter's gonna be the final decision maker, and may use a special glyph.

I'd suggest not using small caps; that's a potential PITA if the book is going to be published as an ebook down the road.

Mostly, though, just pick one and be absolutely consistent.

In a novel one wouldn't write 11 p.m. It would be eleven p.m., with the hour spelled out.

Journalistic writing would say 11:00 p.m. Style has to do with what you're writing.

Night_Writer said:

In a novel one wouldn't write 11 p.m. It would be eleven p.m., with the hour spelled out.

Journalistic writing would say 11:00 p.m. Style has to do with what you're writing.

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I reckon I'd take it one step further than this and take out the p.m./PM/pm altogether.

It's late: after eleven.

It's late. Eleven, maybe ten past.

etc. etc.

Yeah, a colon rocks. I don't like capitalized am or pm. But I'm contrary like that.

Night_Writer said:

In a novel one wouldn't write 11 p.m. It would be eleven p.m., with the hour spelled out.

Journalistic writing would say 11:00 p.m. Style has to do with what you're writing.

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I think it depends. If the character is seeing a digital clock using 11 p.m. would still be viable and accurate. However, if it is in dialogue then I would personally write it as eleven p.m.

However, in the grand scheme of things I don't think it really matters as long as you are consistent. Just my opinion on the matter.

The issue of capitalization/punctuation of these things will almost certainly come down to an editor's preference, so I wouldn't worry much over it. But I also like what Anna suggested above. If your setting is at night, you don't need to specify the p.m. Likewise if it is morning, you don't need to specify the a.m. If you haven't already set up the scene as morning or evening, there are a lot of simple descriptive ways to make this clear.

caw

Neither is wrong. Isn't that nice? You get to choose.