The only mistakes I see in either of these sentences is p.m. should be pm or PM.
Agree with lizmonster on both counts.
An alternative might be It's late: 11 p.m. But I'm not 100% on that.
It's late. 11 p.m.
Or would it be...
It's late, 11 p.m.
In a novel one wouldn't write 11 p.m. It would be eleven p.m., with the hour spelled out.
Journalistic writing would say 11:00 p.m. Style has to do with what you're writing.
In a novel one wouldn't write 11 p.m. It would be eleven p.m., with the hour spelled out.
Journalistic writing would say 11:00 p.m. Style has to do with what you're writing.