Name on a door- etiquette?

eldergrantaire

Registered
Joined
Jun 20, 2018
Messages
40
Reaction score
1
I seem to have run into yet another minor etiquette question. My character is the founder of a charity, and also a baronet's widow. Various etiquette guides have informed me that as a baronet's widow she should be addressed in conversation as 'Lady X' or 'my lady', and correspondence to her should be addressed to 'Jane, Lady X' (X being her husband's surname).

However, I haven't found anything on what it would be if she had her name on the door of her office. Would it be as in correspondence, 'Jane, Lady X', or just 'Lady X'? Would she not have it on the door at all? Is 'office' even the right word, or should it be 'study'? (This is her office at the building where the charity is housed, not at home.)

On a semi-related note, if I have one more Edwardian etiquette guide cheerfully inform me that 'the rules of precedence are very simple!' I may be driven to defenestrate it.
 

angeliz2k

never mind the shorty
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 24, 2008
Messages
3,727
Reaction score
488
Location
Commonwealth of Virginia--it's for lovers
Website
www.elizabethhuhn.com
My feeling is that she would not have her name on the door. I'm imagining it working like this: a person enters the (hospital? asylum? shelter? hospice?) and be greeted by someone at the front door. If they asked for Lady X, they would be escorted to her office (I would imagine it would indeed be called an office). Those who work there would naturally know where her office is. I feel like a woman of her status would expect other people to know who she is. She would not advertise herself in that vulgar way (that's an exaggeration of how this might be viewed, but I think it conveys the social understanding behind it). Only merchants and respectable-but-not-high-class professionals would put their name on their door in that way.

Or maybe I've got it wrong. It's just my thought, based on my reading of late Victorian/Edwardian society.

[Incidentally, I feel like this wouldn't be the case once the war changed things. I imagine that ladies put their names on doors when they opened up hospitals and such--social etiquette changed drastically due to the Great War, and it was not as discouraged for women to be useful.]
 

eldergrantaire

Registered
Joined
Jun 20, 2018
Messages
40
Reaction score
1
Yeah, I think you're right. It's not really in keeping with her personality either, I don't think- she's very much a grande dame and I think she would view it as beneath her.

The charity is closest to a shelter, I guess? It's a very world-specific concept. The 'front' of the charity is as a Home for Distressed Gentlewomen, but its actual purpose is to take in gentlewomen who are running away from forced matches and pair them up into sham marriages with men who for some reason need a wife- e.g. can't marry their real match for some reason, or are gay and need a beard.
 

frimble3

Heckuva good sport
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 7, 2006
Messages
11,574
Reaction score
6,396
Location
west coast, canada
In that case, practicality as well as etiquette is to be considered. If there's any chance of outraged parents or ex-forced-matches storming the place, demanding the return of their gentlewomen, better that the doors be un-named.
The big thug/doorman can handle that sort of disturbance without involving Her Ladyship. (Many modern abused-women's-shelters keep their locations private for just this reason.)
 

eldergrantaire

Registered
Joined
Jun 20, 2018
Messages
40
Reaction score
1
Yep, you're right. And I hadn't considered that they need a doorman, but they definitely do.
 

frimble3

Heckuva good sport
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 7, 2006
Messages
11,574
Reaction score
6,396
Location
west coast, canada
Yes, and doorman, rather than doorwoman, because there's a certain kind of jerk that would try to shove past a woman, no matter how sturdy or menacing, but who will back off at the sight of a big, tough-looking man.
 

CWatts

down the rabbit hole of research...
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Mar 4, 2013
Messages
1,756
Reaction score
1,236
Location
Virginia, USA
Yes, and doorman, rather than doorwoman, because there's a certain kind of jerk that would try to shove past a woman, no matter how sturdy or menacing, but who will back off at the sight of a big, tough-looking man.

Seconded. This would be a great job for, say, the working-class partner of one of those gay gentleman.
 
Last edited:

eldergrantaire

Registered
Joined
Jun 20, 2018
Messages
40
Reaction score
1
CWatts, that's an excellent suggestion! The idea I was toying with was that he's a Jewish man whose soulmate is a Christian woman, but her family kicked up a fuss and accused him of faking it and possibly tried to bring charges against him? I like your suggestion too, though. Either way I'm definitely gonna have him be a Jewish (ex?)boxer, because there were a few Jewish boxers from the East End around this time.