So I got feedback from agents and a beta reader that I needed to fix my ending (which, deep down, was not a surprise) and so I've spent the past two weeks finishing those revisions, but now I really need a smart writer to take a look and give comments on whether my revisions to the second half of the book are working out.

Anyone up for a swap? We could trade the first 50 pages as a start. I'm not really interested in doing line-by-lines (though I do make comments as I go through) but after reading, I always give a few pages of comments on where the next revisions should focus - and I'm sort of looking for the same thing in exchange.

Anyway, my query is, as follows:

Good with junk, terrible with words, Oz Smith lives in the middle of what used to be America. That is, before the oxygen levels plummeted and the mutant population mushroomed. Nobody visits his trading post, which is how he likes it—except for that physicist who took an interest in his inventions. The physicist upgraded his hoverboard, then blew herself up.

Now everybody—the army, the mad scientists, his mom—wants his damn hoverboard. The formula inside of it is the key to saving the world or something. Oh, and that physicist? Faked her death. Then got herself captured by mutants.

The last thing Oz wants is all this attention. The scientists could find out about his, um, problem. Because you see, everyone else needs oxygen masks to breathe, but for Oz—his mask is more of a fashion choice?

Oz is not becoming a lab rat. And nope, not giving up his hoverboard. It’s that physicist’s formula and she can explain it herself. So time to bust her out. Like Oz, the mutants don’t need masks to breathe, so Oz can fake it as a mutant, infiltrating their stronghold. But then the physicist blows herself up again. (This time for real.) And Oz is left once more with that formula and a world to save.

He’s kind of taking it personally.

First chapter (though it's been edited a few more times) was posted: https://absolutewrite.com/forums/sho...8#post10398498

So please feel free to question me here or ping me... I am pretty fast with returning feedback. I am open to all genres, including erotica, lgbtq+ friendly, etc. The only thing that's really important to me is that I'm not the first person (outside your family and BFF) to give you critical feedback. I have beta'd upwards of 10 times and I'm in a regular critique group so I know how it feels to receive feedback and generally try to be direct and helpful when saying what works and what doesn't.