What are ways to grasp your reader's attention when describing the 5 senses?

Hi!

First (and I'm sure this was just a simple turn of phrase on your part) but you don't necessarily want to grab the reader's attention with your descriptions. It's a fine line, but make sure your descriptions keep the reader immersed in the story rather than calling attention to themselves.

Also, I'm sure people on here will tell you, beware of repeatedly doing a checklist of the senses. I would say, close your eyes and imagine yourself in the wonderful environment you've created, and pick out a couple things that are unique about only that place. Then sprinkle those into your scene.

As far as describing the scene from the character's perspective or the narrator's perspective, I would definitely say the character. I'm sure this is subjective, but I think the reader will stay much more engaged if you describe how your character is interacting with the environment, rather than you stepping in to describe it yourself.

There are more than five senses.

Pro Tip (I am not a pro): Include the passage of time. The successful authors do this. I know this, because I analyze what they do in my reading. (Rookie tip: read.)

"The hunger in the pit of his stomach gnawed at him. It would only get worse."

"The light on the landscape shifted to pink. He'd best pick up his pace or he'd not make the shelter by nightfall."

"Waking was the moment of peace, like yesterday's waking, like every waking since she had passed. The moment crashed, as it always did."

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These are thrown together spur of the moment, but are a sixth sense that the professionals use. Time. Indicate that the protagonist is aware of the passage of time.

I haven't found a seventh sense yet but will not be surprised when I do.

Hi Rachel, I go back and fill in the background scenes, and I can take my time doing it since the scene has already been 'written.'

Think of it from your own perspective. When you enter a room you usually don't see, smell, touch, hear, and taste everything in the room. In most cases you only really notice one or two senses at a time.

So when your character enters a room they’ve never been in, what would they notice. But also HOW do they notice it. If your character is angry they would react differently then when they are happy to the same stimuli. For example, if they are in a bad mood they might not notice the smell of fresh cut flowers. But if they are happy they might stop and smell the roses.

It's also important to know what kind of a mood you want to set. If there are one or two senses that would bring that mood out better than the other, focus on them. But don't describe everything. It just leads to a sensory overload and the reader will just skim over it and forget about what mood your trying to set.

Ha! the rocketman said it better than I would have.

Also, read read read, and read the stuff you like a second, 3rd or 5th (etc) time & think about how the writer managed to have the effect they had on you.

rachel0d said:

- How do you word the scene from the character's perspective vs. your own(The narrator's)?

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Think of it as role-playing. You have to get inside the head of the viewpoint character and learn to think, observe, and experience things according to their own world view and idiosyncracies.

Also, you can write in layers. If the dialogue and action come first, that's fine. But you can go back over the scene as many times as necessary to work in the details, whatever the character would notice, think about, and/or react to.

Excellent and fabulous advice.

Passage of time-- I hadn't thought of it as a sense, but I guess I have been taught. Nice, Patty!

Mood is also very important, as mentioned, as it is the filter (glasses) through which the character views the world.

And, come to think of it, role-playing is basically writing from a perspective. Hmm, hadn't thought of it like that before, but I sure do now!

Great stuff, everyone!

My advice: read, read, read! You'll improve your toolbox that way.