Repetition / overuse of words

inksplatter · Jun 21, 2018

Hi there,

I did a quick forum search for 'repetition' and 'overuse' of words, but I didn't find anything along what I was looking for.

One of my amazing beta readers got back to me saying I was repeating certain words. Transitions like 'as' and 'but.'

I've always thought repetition applied to fragments/ phrases used too close together, so this was eye-opening for me.

I have some questions with regard to overuse:

1) If you don't mind sharing, what are some common words/phrases you've encountered?

2) In a chunk of 500 words, ballpark how many times can I get a way with repeating a word? I realize this is a subjective question. Some words like 'I' and 'was' are going to appear a lot.

3) General opinions about this.

Thank you!

R.A. Lundberg · Jun 21, 2018

I think it's possible to overuse nearly any word or phrase, and it's sometimes hard for the writer to tell. Your voice may want to use those transitions and that particular beta may find it repetitive, while others may not. I find that I tend to use certain words more than I should while writing that I wind up going back and excising on edit pass. I don't think there's a hard-and-fast rule about "how many times per XX" that applies here (my opinion only; others may disagree). What might help is read it out loud. When somebody first told me to do that I thought "What? What good is that going to do?" but I tried it anyway. What I found was a lot of bad habits, like being overly repetitive, are really apparent out loud. Pro tip: read it into a recorder (plenty of those free for smartphones, if yours doesn't already have it) and then listen to it play back like an audio book. Repetitive words, awkward phrases, scenes that just don't work, all that stuff sticks out like a sore thumb on audio, to me anyway.

DarienW · Jun 21, 2018

I second R.A. on listening to it out loud. Even a computer voice reading it can be helpful.

The great thing about a beta read is they can point out those certain phrases, and then you can find and search them and change the ones as you see fit. Considering as or but, you may also be using similar sentence structures, so breaking up that pattern is helpful too.

It's all in the process of revision though, and it's something we all do. Don't try to avoid it when you're writing as it can hang you up in the flow.

I have a character who says frig for everything, and it sounds natural to his voice to me, so I just go ahead and frig his passages to death, and then go back in and pick and choose which ones to keep. In 500 words I imagine he might have a few, depending on what it is. Dialogue possibly more so than narration.

Words I've noticed in my writing as well as others stories: Looked, that is always good to check for--I had a beta point them all out--it was humbling.

Others can be smiled, I read a published book that had a ton of them.

I'll post more if I think of them.

Hope that helps!

Woollybear · Jun 21, 2018

Yes to everything Darien said -

Some of my biggest pet peeves are: looked, thought, nodded, sighed, smiled, laughed, shrugged, turned, etc (basically, simple and arguably meaningless actions) - Any of these can be too easily overused (it's easy to say 'he shrugged,' harder to come up with something like 'he cocked his head, frowning. It seemed he hadn't considered the possibility before and needed a moment ...' or anything more developed.)

Some of those words are filters (and so, can often be removed.)

At the moment I have about 40 - 60 instances of each of those in my 90,000 words, and that's not too many, except for 'look' which is clocking in at 300 (once every three hundred words. That's a bit high for my comfort, I'd want no more than 1 instance of 'look' on every page or two.) Some can be removed, some can be exchanged with a synonym. I'll probably prune some out.

Some words I don't care about at all. A, an, the, and, etc.

For your question about estimating numbers in a five hundred word chunk - There are online tools like this: http://www.writewords.org.uk/word_count.asp that you can paste text into and get a sense of the words you are using. It might surprise you to see what words you are overusing.

Conjunctions, words like 'but' and 'as,' aren't on my radar except to make sure I am using them properly. I have about 450 of each of those in my 90,000 words (about 2.5 instances per 500 words, in your metrics) and no one has said I overuse them.

There are also lists of 'overused' words. Like this one: https://fictionwritingtools.blogspot.com/2015/03/overused-words-in-fiction-writetip.html which provides alternatives to the 'common' words. But ... there are loads of such sites. One of them says metaphor is stronger than simile (so, convert 'like' similes which I have a lot of to metaphor) but a recent reader got confused by one of my metaphors and thought it was literal. Clarity must come first.

Take all the above with a grain of salt.

pingle · Jun 21, 2018

As a very vague rule, more than one 'but' in a paragraph, or 'but' in successive paragraphs if they are short, does jar me. I edit out quite a few.

I've had to axe much looking and smiling. I still find it hard as when I think of natural conversation, it is punctuated by smiling, and where someone looks can be a powerful indicator of what they're thinking, and actually most of the words that people find overused are often gestures that are overused in real life, but fiction would be dull if it was a true reflection of reality, so I just try to keep the strongest ones in.

Harlequin · Jun 22, 2018

Do you have an academic or school-heavy background, OP?

"But" is a bad word for me as well. One of my CPs used to called The But Lady.

It comes from essay writing, where everything is being constantly analysed.

Make a statement --> BUT exceptions, qualifiers, conditions.

A really straightforward way to help with that is just to rejig the sentence as positive. "Joe really liked ice cream, but not vanilla." --> "Joe liked every flavour of ice cream except vanilla" or something.

Vhb_Rocketman · Jun 22, 2018

I've noticed through my revision process that I have a tendency to use certain phrases or words as crutches. I seem to be an ‘as’ offender.

Jack sat arounds as Maureen stared at him.

I can definitely see when reading it how having repetitions of these phrases or words close together can be jarring for the reader. In a lot of my cases it's because I was lazy in the initial draft. Granted that’s fine. Better to get it all down first. But it's good to recognize what your crutches are so you can fix them in the revision process.

As for how often to reuse words. I don't know if there is a hard and fast rule. I view it as, if I can remember the phrase structure from a different passage then I try to find a better way to say it.

Girlsgottawrite · Jun 22, 2018

Just, look, feel, could.

I had no idea how many times I was using these words until I got a writing program that does an overused words check. I use Prowritingaid. It's not perfect, but it's helped me really tighten my writing.Of course, you have to be careful not to take its word for law, it's just a computer program, but I've found it to be helpful.

Maryn · Jun 22, 2018

Gimme a sec, I have a long list of words I search and consider replacing or removing, culled from many sources, including AW, critiques I've received for my own overused words (sweet jesus, could that character murmur any more often?), and long-gone writing groups online.

(Sound of receding footsteps. Silence...)

Ah-ha! Naming files well can save a lot of time, and I sure wish I'd done better in 2008, when I cobbled this together. But I found it and now it's renamed. Warning: I did not review it and that was a decade ago.

I literally use "Find" to find, and I evaluate each one to see if it stays. Usually not. As I'm writing, I don't worry about including any of these words, or overusing favorites. That's for later, when I'm editing.

*-ing beginnings
*-ly
*-ness
a bit
a little
a little bit
a lot
actually
all
almost
always
always
am
and so
anxiously
anyhow
anyway
appears
are
aren't
as
as * was *-ing
as *-ed
at least
be
been
began *ing
began to
completely
considered
continued
continued to
could be heard, seen, felt, etc.
did
didn't
do
does
doesn't
don't
down
eagerly
every
exactly
exist, exists, existed
extremely
fairly
felt
finally
frequently
get
glared
got
grin, grinned
groaned
had
has
have
heard
highly
hoped
I (in a first person narrative)
intended
is
isn't
just
kind of
knew
know
known
looked
make, makes
many
merely
most
mostly
nearly
need
never
not
noticed
occur, occurred, occurs
of
often
only
planned
prepared
pretty
probably
proceed(ed) to
put
quite
rather
reached
realized
really
recalled
regarded
remembered
saw
seem
seemed
seems
sensed
set out to
show, shows
slightly
smelled
smile, smiled
so (as a sequential word)
so then
some
somewhat
sort of
started to
suddenly
that
then
there was
though
thought
totally
tried to
up
utterly
very
waited to
wanted
was *-ed
was *-ing
wasn't
went
were
wholly
will
wished
wondered
won't
would

Woollybear · Jun 22, 2018

Awesome list I am copying it!

Additional random thought to the OP.

Conjunctions like 'but' and 'as' are a bit

more jarring if they are misused. Creating a compound sentence for the sake of length variability is fine but the conjunction needs to follow its rules.

Take the word 'and.'

He went to the dumpster, and rats scurried away. <- that makes perfect sense. The first clause appears causal to the second, they make sense together, it flows.

He went to the dumpster, and rats waited in the shadows. <- That's arguably OK, it's less good, the second clause feels completely separate to the first and so they seem sort of arbitrarily tacked together. I mean, the ideas are sort of connected but ... meh.

He went to the dumpster, and the moon was out. No. This would definitely get reworked in my book. Grammatically it's fine, I guess... I wouldn't use it. I wouldn't critique it either, but if there were lots of usage of the word 'and' in this way it would grate on me way sooner than the first example. I'd eventually comment on it

Your mileage may vary!

stephenf · Jun 22, 2018

Repetition is a bigger problem for the writer than it is for most readers. You can agonize over it too much. The old advice is to read your stuff out aloud, crossing out words that don't have any value. The most annoying word I see in others is the overuse of I. I did this and I did that. It's a lack of confidence in your reader's memory, maybe?

Harlequin · Jun 22, 2018

I think it's probably simpler than that, really. Just a general awkwardness in writing first person.

Lakey · Jun 22, 2018

The first three excerpts of my novel that I posted in SYW - three unrelated scenes from different parts of the book and with two different POV characters - all contained the word "atavistic." I might have a problem. :ROFL:

inksplatter · Jun 22, 2018

Patty said:
There are online tools like this: http://www.writewords.org.uk/word_count.asp that you can paste text into and get a sense of the words you are using. It might surprise you to see what words you are overusing.

Like this one: https://fictionwritingtools.blogspot.com/2015/03/overused-words-in-fiction-writetip.html which provides alternatives to the 'common' words.

Take all the above with a grain of salt.

Nice! I'm going to bookmark these. I did use a word counter when I was working on my query, and I was surprised with the detail it came with.

Harlequin said:
Do you have an academic or school-heavy background, OP?

Lol. What gave me away?

Maryn said:
Gimme a sec, I have a long list of words I search and consider replacing or removing, culled from many sources, including AW, critiques I've received for my own overused words (sweet jesus, could that character murmur any more often?), and long-gone writing groups online.

Wow, Maryn. This is super super helpful. I know I have a lot of problems with grinned, looked and turned. All part of the editing, I guess.

stephenf said:
Repetition is a bigger problem for the writer than it is for most readers. You can agonize over it too much. The old advice is to read your stuff out aloud, crossing out words that don't have any value. The most annoying word I see in others is the overuse of I. I did this and I did that. It's a lack of confidence in your reader's memory, maybe?

This is something I didn't think of. I'll have to check for overuse of first-person in my MS as well.

Girlsgottawrite said:
Just, look, feel, could.

I had no idea how many times I was using these words until I got a writing program that does an overused words check. I use Prowritingaid. It's not perfect, but it's helped me really tighten my writing.Of course, you have to be careful not to take its word for law, it's just a computer program, but I've found it to be helpful.

Definitely checking out the free version of this. I need all the help I can with the editing.

Lots of great responses here. Thanks all for the recommendations and the writing tools you are using.

guttersquid · Jun 22, 2018

I rarely notice repetition of words unless they are words that arent commonly used, and most of the words I notice are adjectives and uncommon verbs.

He activated the machine. If he activates something else, I'm going to notice.

On the other hand, what I will certainly notice is when a writer uses a different word to describe the same thing just to avoid repetition. If you call it a couch in one sentence, don't call it a sofa the next time.

Bufty · Jun 23, 2018

guttersquid said:
I rarely notice repetition of words unless they are words that arent commonly used, and most of the words I notice are adjectives and uncommon verbs.

He activated the machine. If he activates something else, I'm going to notice.

On the other hand, what I will certainly notice is when a writer uses a different word to describe the same thing just to avoid repetition. If you call it a couch in one sentence, don't call it a sofa the next time.

I don't deliberately look for repetition- it just strikes me if it's there.

MatthewSteele · Jun 23, 2018

I have the hardest time not repeating words when I'm writing action scenes. It's easy to get caught up using the same descriptions like 'Panicked, surprised, scared' Ect. Whenever I feel like I'm being repetitive I try and look for synonyms of actions/adjectives just to spice things up a little bit.

Hbooks · Jun 23, 2018

I write the scene, then play it back on my kindle. Repeated words pop out pretty obviously when you hear them out loud, as do similar sentence structures used too many times. Having a list of words to check your manuscript for at the end is a good idea, too, as you don't want to find you have a really noticeable word like perspicacity in there 25 times.

LoaderBot · Jun 23, 2018

Suddenly is a word that I tend to overuse. As such, i now refuse to use it altogether to show the word who's in charge

Maythe · Jun 23, 2018

I came to the forum to ask this question since one of my betas picked up on a similar issue. Thanks for all the helpful responses!

I'm now thinking of giving prowritingaid a try.

inksplatter · Jun 23, 2018

MatthewSteele said:
I have the hardest time not repeating words when I'm writing action scenes. It's easy to get caught up using the same descriptions like 'Panicked, surprised, scared' Ect. Whenever I feel like I'm being repetitive I try and look for synonyms of actions/adjectives just to spice things up a little bit.

Google knows me so well by this point. When I type a word, it immediately tags on 'synonym' as the filler.

Hbooks said:
I write the scene, then play it back on my kindle. Repeated words pop out pretty obviously when you hear them out loud, as do similar sentence structures used too many times. Having a list of words to check your manuscript for at the end is a good idea, too, as you don't want to find you have a really noticeable word like perspicacity in there 25 times.

I've used MS Word's playback option.

Maythe said:
I came to the forum to ask this question since one of my betas picked up on a similar issue. Thanks for all the helpful responses!

I'm now thinking of giving prowritingaid a try.

Cheers!

MatthewSteele · Jun 23, 2018

Hbooks said:
I write the scene, then play it back on my kindle. Repeated words pop out pretty obviously when you hear them out loud, as do similar sentence structures used too many times. Having a list of words to check your manuscript for at the end is a good idea, too, as you don't want to find you have a really noticeable word like perspicacity in there 25 times.

That's a great idea, never thought of that. Actually hearing the text would make it easier.

DanielSTJ · Jun 24, 2018

Maryn gave such an immense list that she covered most of them-- methinks.

I always overuse words too. Many of them/groups are in Maryn's list.

Editing is a wonderful thing.

greendragon · Jun 25, 2018

As a note, ProWritingAid (not sure about Grammarly, as I've not used that one) allows you to add 'custom' words to their 'overused words list'. That pass will highlight all instances of those words so you can double-check them and change if it makes sense.

I'll add 'simply' and 'could' to Maryn's wonderful list.

Scythian · Jun 25, 2018

When a writer has a highly specific word which keeps popping up, for example Stephen R Donaldson's variations of "clench", I think that's delightful.
Sometimes it can be even a trademark, like "Jack Reacher said nothing".
But in general, I think that the more the story is plot-based, the less repetition is an issue anyone notices, while the more it is style and atmosphere based--the more one has to sweat over each sentence.
When giant mutant crabs are melting the town's supermarket with acid shooting out from their eye stalks, word repetition is not an issue, not an issue, word repetition, issue, not.
Whereas if one is being all Chabon, then one has to sweat over each sentence. Scythian said nothing.

Repetition / overuse of words

inksplatter

R.A. Lundberg

DarienW

Woollybear

pingle

Harlequin

Eat books, not brains!

Vhb_Rocketman

Girlsgottawrite

I write at work...

Maryn

Baaa!

Woollybear

stephenf

Harlequin

Eat books, not brains!

Lakey

professional dilettante

inksplatter

guttersquid

I agree with Roxxsmom.

Bufty

Where have the last ten years gone?

MatthewSteele

Hbooks

LoaderBot

Maythe

inksplatter

MatthewSteele

DanielSTJ

The Wandering Bard

greendragon

Scythian