I am happy that my grand daughter has a good relationship with her stepmother, and that she has a little sister. People when I grew up, where I live, in western Kansas are rural, isolated, maybe a little mean spirited. They had no problem cutting off family members, even grandchildren, after a divorce. I have a dear friend who is almost 80. Her parents divorced before her first birthday. All of her life her mother said the most awful things about her father. Her half siblings constantly reminded her that their dad-- a man who died in World War Two-- was a hero and her father was … well, he was Native American so you can guess what they said. Needless to say she never made contact with her father, never spoke with any of his family. But she is almost comically proud of her Native American heritage--to the point of carrying a card and getting reservation money.

Now, at an age when one should be thinking about setting things right in this world before going to the next, she has been contacted by a half sister, a child of her father. She is ignoring her and if the sister tries to contact her again my friend is set to tell her off. I don't get it. I'd at least want to meet her once, hear her side of things. Things between her half sibs are not any better. Two years ago she had a major surgery, was in the hospital for almost a month and then had a long recovery. Neither her brother nor her sister called, visited, even did so much as send a card. They did not contact her kids to see if she survived the surgery. I was sad but not surprised. She would have treated them the same.

Now, my brother in law, who swore that he never wanted to know anything about his fathers--not his bio father are the step father who abandoned him-- is learning to read dna. It's not easy but he is working hard at it. wanting to find something. I think it is because he is now a grandfather--and a very good one, even if he drives me crazy. --s6