POV Character Description

I don't tend to over describe appearance, but methods I have used in my finished book are, noticing how a family member shares more features with her mother than she does (from which the assumption is that she is not fair and willowy), that she borrows clothes and they sit differently on her, her laughing about being called intimidating by someone taller than her. They all support the image I have of her in my mind, and having an appearance I can picture as I write helps with authenticity, but tbh I don't really mind if the reader sees her differently.

Vhb_Rocketman said:

Describing a POV characters appearance for the reader always seems to lead to awkward writing.

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Because it often doesn't move the story forward, or doesn't serve a plot point later on in the story.

-cb

I am definitely guilty of under describing my characters. For me the psychological identity is always dominant. In my own mind as I see people, too. I guess if my book ever got made into a movie, the directors would have to figure it out, but what are the chances of that happening. Anyways, I wouldn't worry much about your POV character. If it is important to the story for a detail to be known, it will usually make an opportunity to slip it in. You could use a self reflection, a comparison to another, or a general passing of a mirror, if you need ideas. Or you could temporarily switch to another character's view, and describe them from another's point of view. But that last one depends on the circumstances, and could easily distract, and unsettle your readers.

Dialogue and reflection are my go-to. Comparison is another common one.

Really, though, you have to consider how a character looks in relation to its importance. What's significant? In current MS, being biracial is significant to my MC; in previous MS, being the wrong colour was again signficant. If your character is caucasian and not especially old or young (say, 20s to 30s) and their appearance doesn't figure into the story or themes, leave it out if you want.


So--some ways I've put in appearance for current MS. These are scattered all throughout the MS. But the general idea is to throw in enough for the reader to latch on to, and build up a gradual picture.

I'm not saying it's good and some will DEFINITELY find it clunky, but even if you dislike that as an approach that's worth a comparison. The first one is the most gratuitous and forced.
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Everyone else has someone to sit with, or text, or talk to; everyone else has somewhere to go, places to be. In the network of life the other passengers are connected in a maze of invisible lines. Remy, though, is a broken thread; cut off from the rest and only masquerading as part of the weave.

She wonders if they see through her facade, if they see her at all. Behind the glasses, uneven brown bangs, and hoodie zipped up to her chin, there’s not a lot of face left to find. Dark eyes, darkish skin; both a muddle of her mixed-up ancestry. A blur of mediocrity, wrapped in cheap clothing. But even if she gets contacts, buys makeup, and wears better clothes, not much will change. More accessories will just render her into the Invisible Man—a detritus of items hanging off an aerial spectre, features nonexistent beneath.

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Remy lounges on the balcony. Sunbathes in the remains of the day, not that she needs to be any darker.

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“Hey,” he says, wiping himself down on her pillow. “Where you from, baby?”


“Montana. Like the song.” No one ever knows the song she means.


“Naw, I mean originally.”


“Originally, Montana.”


“Huh. You look kinda paki, or something.”

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“Hey, so, mind if I make some changes?” I’m already reaching for the scissors in her medicine cabinet.


"Um. What kind of changes?”


“Your hair, for starters. You look like goddamn Velma from Scooby Doo, except browner. Not cool, Remy.”

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Aisling is crunched up next to her, as if clinging to some invisible surface. Shorter than Remy, and Remy isn’t tall. Older than Remy, by ten or fifteen years at least. Maybe more; maybe twenty. Pretty, in a faded way—grey eyes tired, blond hair greying. Dressed in white pajamas.

Why do you need to describe them: is it relevant to the plot of to the character development to know if they have blue, green or brown eyes?

I don't describe my MC, I might mention something like a detail here or there only if it is relevant to the story, or character development, but I never used detailed or sweeping descriptions. But then again as a reader I hate pointless descriptions too.

If they're very unusual, non white, or non human, then yes you need description out the door I would say. Bt it doesn't need to be detailed necessarily and if you can couch it with other things, even better.

My last ms had a fully aliencast, all non humans, and when I didn't put SOME kind of indication here straight away, readers were understandably upset.

Vhb_Rocketman said:

Well I have multiple POV characters that interact. If I want to ever have another character reference a physical trait then I need to describe them early. Or so I thought. I remember reading that a reader creates a picture of the character in the first few paragraphs. If their picture doesn't match my picture...and I reference something that only exists in my picture...wouldn't it pull the reader out of the story?

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Not sure I follow but you don't have to thoroughly describe a character before another character can reference one their physical traits, if that's what you mean. (i.e. I don't need a lengthy description of Jenny before Brad can reference that he loves her long hair). If a character has red hair and I imagine them with brown hair it's going to stop me reading or pulling me out I'll just continue imagining who I want. Actually something that is more likely to pull me out of the story are purposeless descriptions as they tend to drag the pace and the narrative and I lose attention.

Although I'm sure you'll find readers who love descriptions. You just need to decide who you are writing for but if you decide to have a description of your MC all I will say is avoid the "checking their reflection in the mirror" cliché.

What is the POV character's particular physical attribute that you want to get across?

Vhb_Rocketman said:

If I want to ever have another character reference a physical trait then I need to describe them early. Or so I thought. I remember reading that a reader creates a picture of the character in the first few paragraphs. If their picture doesn't match my picture...and I reference something that only exists in my picture...wouldn't it pull the reader out of the story?

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I've given this exact advice until recently, and I've heard the advice that 'sprinkling' and 'dribbling' descriptors is a bad tactic because it can be so jarring. I've experienced that jarring sensation, and you want to avoid it. You'll figure that part out, trust your instincts. But this advice holds for objects too. If my farm family is eating meals at the kitchen table and I don't mention that the table is made of metal and glass until the fourth instance, when the father smashes his fist into it and shards go everywhere, then readers will be jarred. A farm family is assumed (most likely) to use a wooden kitchen table.

I don't give the advice anymore, about describing everything out the door. Just the important bits. the unusual bit. Anything 'average' can be left out, i think, but it's about balancing, too.

The reader wants something to start their mental sketch with. So that is what you need. You often get rough age and gender without trying, and that's a start. You can add in another specific through comparison/action 'she stood on her tiptoes to get the pitcher off the shelf.' 'at least she didn't have her father's hook nose. She stifled the thought; it was unkind.'

I recently decided that one of my characters likes to keep his head shaven. I see two choices straight away -- get it out early which I do as it is enough of a distinguishing feature for a reader to latch to, or have him shave at some point.

Hermione Granger was never described (physically) much past her untamed hair. Her most important traits are her intellect and passion.

Vhb_Rocketman said:

Describing a POV characters appearance for the reader always seems to lead to awkward writing.

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Generally because it comes across as out of POV if it's too overtly or clumsily handled. But there are ways to do it; you just have to be clever and reasonably subtle. Above all, it's got to sound natural and part of the context.


Various ways I've done it are to give the character a reason to notice something about themselves. Or to make a comparison between themselves and another character. Or have another character make a comment about the viewpoint character's appearance.Or have the character interact with his environment in some way that reveals something about his appearance. And so on.

There are plenty of writers who don't bother to describe their POV character at all, but as a reader, I prefer to have something to go on. Doesn't need to be an exhaustive list of physical characteristics, but I do like to have an overall impression.

Harlequin said:

So--some ways I've put in appearance for current MS. These are scattered all throughout the MS. But the general idea is to throw in enough for the reader to latch on to, and build up a gradual picture.

I'm not saying it's good and some will DEFINITELY find it clunky, but even if you dislike that as an approach that's worth a comparison. The first one is the most gratuitous and forced.
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I don't agree. It both describes and reveals character. I think it's well done. In fact, they are all good examples of how it should be done.

Vhb_Rocketman said:

I remember reading that a reader creates a picture of the character in the first few paragraphs. If their picture doesn't match my picture...and I reference something that only exists in my picture...wouldn't it pull the reader out of the story?

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I think most readers give it longer than a few paragraphs. But don't wait until two-thirds into the story.

Elle. said:

Why do you need to describe them: is it relevant to the plot of to the character development to know if they have blue, green or brown eyes?

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To piggyback on this, Rowling wrote Harry Potter was to have green eyes in the books. When it came time to find an actor, Daniel Radcliffe was chosen. He does not have green eyes, and he could not wear the green contacts (eye irritation).

Don't get married to specifics; think of the big picture, like if the book ever becomes a movie.

Vhb_Rocketman said:

That last point is exactly what I'm looking for. Say there is an important physical attribute about the POV you need to describe (as in it's important to the plot). How do you go about it.

I don't want to have the character looking into a mirror. Therefore I need to find another way. So I'm looking for some inspiration.

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It depends on the attribute.

If he is missing his right hand you will have a lot of ways to show that.

If he has heterochromia or freckles or something that is distinctive but does not impact his day-to-day life, that might be a little harder.

Can you give us some clues as to the exact feature?

Vhb_Rocketman said:

The second example slated for change is a crappy mirror look. The POV is walking to see his lover when he passes a mirror and contemplates how old he looks. This character is very vain and is all about appearances. So I use the mirror to describe him a bit

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No, not a bit. On the contrary – push it to the hilt. If he's that vain, have him stop, look closely at himself, swear, rant, despair or whatever, about his appearance. Don't be casual, don't be coy, show no fear, write it boldly. Use the most varied, dynamic language you can. So you have the dreaded mirror scene, what of it? He needs it.

One way around cliches is to be aware, but unafraid of them.

Vhb_Rocketman said:

In both cases the descriptions seem a little forced. So I figured I would look for some inspiration.

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I don't see any issue with the first example. As for second, yes, mirrors can be cliche, but if you're going to do it, own it. And it sounds like you have, using that moment to reveal how he feels about his appearance.

On the first example, you may want to leave the physical description out for a while, and just keep something in about how others see him as different. A bit of foreshaddowing. If you use the heterochromia card right out of the gate, you'll interact with reader's prejudices before they get to know your character. And I personally had to just google heterochromia. If you included it, you'd have to define it too. My advice: Let the reader see through the character's eyes, and explain why they feel everyone treats them as different later on.

Nothing wrong with using a mirror description if it moves the plot. Otherwise, I'd use POVs to describe fellow POVs.

Vhb_Rocketman said:

So there are two places in my WIP that I'm not happy with and are flagged to be replaced.

In each case this is the first time that POV is encountered. As in they are not seen by another POV character first.

So the first one is the Character walking through a memorial site. There are other characters around, but everyone is paying attention to themselves (its a memorial after all). The POV character has heterochromia that I reference in later chapters. But currently my method of describing this to the reader is to have him “remember how useful it is during negotiations”. Since he is brooding about losing a contract. His internal dialog goes back to previous negotiations and how the heterochromia distracted the other person.

I guess I could always invent a character just to notice them and bring it up in conversation. But that seems forced.


The second example slated for change is a crappy mirror look. The POV is walking to see his lover when he passes a mirror and contemplates how old he looks. This character is very vain and is all about appearances. So I use the mirror to describe him a bit and how he is coping with showing his age.

This one is a bit tricky because he is alone for the first few pages.

In both cases the descriptions seem a little forced. So I figured I would look for some inspiration.

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I'd be tempted, for heterochromia, to have the character put in brown lenses as part of their early chapters. I'd be tempted to have the character pass a dog with heterochromia and feel an affinity for the dog, maybe while thinking that his lenses are irritating him and he should get a new set. That might be enough to make the point.

Might be clunky, or might be workable. If you work it in through interactions from others you could use sunglasses so that it is clear that the other person gets a bit odd right when the glasses come off.

For the second - I would personally ditch the mirror. But, the advice to turn it into a feature is probably good advice as well.

I'm aging and can tell you that my vision is curtailed from saggy eyelids. It is experiential and it stinks. Maybe your character is putting on cologne and feels the extra skin under the chin that didn't used to be there. Maybe he is laughing and cuts the laughter short because he remembers that laughing throws his wrinkles into relief.

That's a few ideas that don't involve reflective surfaces.... But others seem to think the mirror can work as you've set it up.

Vhb_Rocketman said:

The second example slated for change is a crappy mirror look. The POV is walking to see his lover when he passes a mirror and contemplates how old he looks. This character is very vain and is all about appearances. So I use the mirror to describe him a bit and how he is coping with showing his age.

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There have been a few times over the past decade or so when I did a double take in the mirror. Certain features can appear almost overnight, like age spots or hair where there shouldn't be any.

I'd say a valid way to use a mirror description is when the character notices something unusual, and a good response for a vain character might be how they're going to cover THAT up, too.