Hey all! I'm looking for someone willing to read my first 2 chapters of my novel. It's American Werewolf in London meets American Graffiti and has an LGBT subplot.

I'm looking for someone to give real honest and strong feedback, even if it hurts. I also am in desperate need of someone who can point out my grammar errors.

My mentor took a look at the chapters and his thoughts on the reason for the constant rejection are two things: "a number of small errors in grammar and syntax that make it seem less polished and evocative than it actually is." and "the bigger issue" pacing.

Admittedly, my 1st chapter is very long compared to the 2nd. Also I have a bit of trouble when self editing or reading my MS out loud because I can't see the errors. I had to read my mentor's notes a few times to see the differences between my sentences and the ones he corrected.

Thank you!