Interrupted Dialogue

S. W. Moses

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Question for all the viewers back at home: when a character is speaking but you want to show that they are either interrupted or someone else cuts across them, how do you write that?

Currently doing something that looks like this: "I didn't think that you would-,"

Is that right? What should this look like?
 

lolly334

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No comma, you just need an em dash: "I didn't think that you would—"
 

Maryn

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I concur, no comma, just the em dash. Use another if they proceed mid-sentence.

"I didn't think that you would--"

"Shows what you know!" (or a passing siren blocks their conversation, or whatever interruption you have)

"--ever sink this low," he said.
 

jeffschanz

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This is both the way I do it, and seemingly every book I've read does it:
"Yeah, but..."

I do something else that I don't know if anyone else does. It's my system, and I like it ;)
If I am interrupting a sentence, and the next utterance is a new or altered thought, I use the "..." both before and after:
"Yeah, but...," he started, then said, "...ah, nevermind."
But if I am only pausing, or stuttering a sentence, I use the "--" in between:
"Yeah, but I -- uh, forgot what I was going to say."
 

Maryn

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There's a difference between trailing off (ellipses) and being interrupted (emdash), though.

"I've often wondered..." Susan twisted her hands in knots.

"Wondered what?"

"Whether you use unbleached flour." There, she'd said it!


is different from

"I've always wondered--"

The timer rang and the baker leapt to his feet. "Wondered what?" he said over his shoulder as he opened the oven.

"Whether you use unbleached flour." There, she'd said it!


So the author has to decide if the character is interrupted, including self-interruption, or if they trail off because they've lost their thought, or the courage to speak it, that sort of thing.

Maryn, trailing off now...
 

Elle.

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I agree with Maryn. I use ellipsis (...) to indicate trailing off and em dash ( — ) to show an interruption.
 

Chase

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It's really hard (at least for me) to suss out all the various citations in CMoS, but it seems to allow both ellipses and dashes:

"What the heck did she mean . . . " Kara paused to catch her breath. ". . . by all that nonsense?"

"What the heck did she mean--" Kara paused to catch her breath. "--by all that nonsense?"
 

jeffschanz

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Well, I guess I'm backwards to everyone's theory here. But I'm stubborn, and I like my method.
And I'm pretty sure many of the books I've read have "..." as an interruption indicator. I'm creative, but not creative enough to completely invent some new system, I don't think.
 

Chase

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Maybe our posts were too close, but as I indicated, I don't think your method is backward or against CMoS.

Without the comma, ellipses are in common use for interruptions by many writers. Stephen King employs both dashes and ellipses to interrupt in the same novel--sometimes in the same chapter. :greenie
 

jeffschanz

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Chase -- good, thanks. I am far too lazy and stubborn to go back and change my system, unless of course some big-boy publisher gives me an advance and insists on altering it. "Right away!" shouts my sell-out soul. ;)
 

BethS

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Stephen King employs both dashes and ellipses to interrupt in the same novel--sometimes in the same chapter. :greenie

"Just because you see someone else do it, doesn't make it right. I mean, would you follow this Stephen King fellow off a cliff if he jumped first?" (channeling someone's mother...)
 

Chase

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"Just because you see someone else do it, doesn't make it right. I mean, would you follow this Stephen King fellow off a cliff if he jumped first?" (channeling someone's mother...)

Good advice, Mom, 'cause most of us lemmings headed for the cliffs do use the more popular dash method, but I've seen other writers also use ellipses. They're growing in popularity for dialog, leaving dashes for narrative.

CMoS isn't the be-all and end-all of writing styles, but it does seem to give some credence to alternatives for dashes when interrupting dialog. :Shrug:

"We live east of Hoback. Shaye…” He gestured at his wife. “…is a trouper. We’ve lived in a trailer five years." From Don't Run by JJ Pitts.
 
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DanielSTJ

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I concur, no comma, just the em dash. Use another if they proceed mid-sentence.

"I didn't think that you would--"

"Shows what you know!" (or a passing siren blocks their conversation, or whatever interruption you have)

"--ever sink this low," he said.

I do it this way. It's a great thing that the forum taught me. It makes sense too, because the cutoff is at the beginning of the following statement, if you think it through.

Daniel, who thinks Maryn is cool. :)