New Job Killed Creativity?

DanielaTorre · May 20, 2018

At my last job, one I had for about 12 years, I had a lot of time to brainstorm. It was a legal job which in itself required a lot of abstract thinking. While at that job, I was able to shell out two books and start two others. Three months ago, however, I quit that job and took a government position that was more linear and monotonous. It's very busy, and I never have a chance to sit and think. Needless to say, that type of bureaucratic work doesn't require thinking outside the box because it's procedural and repetitive.

This killed any motivation, desire, or inspiration I have to write. I started a coming-of-age story shortly before quitting my last job. It was coming along fantastically. My mind was on a roll of ideas and I fleshed out characters that I've been wanting to write about since I was thirteen. Then I started with this new job, and three months in, it's all gone. I don't want to write. I'm always tired. Everything feels like a chore. I don't know what to do because I really love this manuscript, but I feel like I'm emotionally and creatively dead.

I've tried music. I've tried editing. I've tried different software, locations--you name it. I don't want to quit my job because, despite its monotony, I really like it, and I like the people I work with. It pays really well, and I have fantastic benefits. But at the same time, I feel dead inside. Emotionless. Also, I should mention that I have the same aversion to video games, reading, sculpting (I like to play with clay), and anything that I used to take pleasure in.

I'm almost sure my job (and the atmosphere) wreaked havoc on my creativity because that's when the trouble started. Also, I was very isolated in my last job, and now I'm socializing a hell of a lot more. I won't pretend that didn't affect me psychologically.

Advice is wholeheartedly appreciated.

Maryn · May 20, 2018

So it sounds like the loss is mainly of the chance to let your mind wander while you did your job, which resulted in ideas you were enthusiastic about, which you then wrote.

You might be able to re-create that. I get mine in two ways. One is driving, which I have to do anyway. I can drive on autopilot, doing a perfectly good and safe job of it while thinking about other things, like my novel. It requires that I have no music playing and no conversation in the car, but since I mostly drive alone, that can happen. Maybe your commute to and from your new job lends itself to this.

The other is monotonous tasks, which include walking for exercise (important: not where there's cars!), washing dishes, shoveling snow, pulling weeds... you get the idea. Anything you can do without needing to concentrate on it is a rich time for mental wandering.

I don't know about you, but my mind, given leave to wander, sometimes wanders away, so I have to realize I've done that and rein it in, returning to the plot or character I'm supposed to be thinking about.

I wrote my best novel shoveling snow one bad winter.

frimble3 · May 20, 2018

It might also just be a 'settling in' period. You did your last job for 12 years, you knew the ins-and-outs, when the lulls were, and when to pay attention. You've been doing this job, a different style of work, for only three months.
I'd bet once the job gets more familiar, you'll find spaces to think your own thoughts. And, do what Maryn said, try to find monotonous patches where you have time to let your brain work.

auzerais · May 20, 2018

Sounds to me like you're tired.

I am an introvert with a very social, fast-paced, high-responsibility job (I work in pharmacy) and I absolutely love it and it absolutely drains me. I spend ten hours attending to people's immense amounts of need for help, sympathy, attention, what-have-you, and then I come home exhausted and it's beyond me to write my name, let alone a novel. That said, I'm still an active artist who makes time for creative pursuits. It's a constant battle, and there's no easy formula for success. (If you find one, for the love of God tell me about it.)

Half of art-making is showing up to do art-making, so I have had success by creating opportunities for myself to show up. I'm rigid in my routines and this helps me, but it's not the only thing. I leave my work out and easily accessible. For example -- I'm not just a writer, I also draw, so I leave my easel up and pencils out so I can wander past a drawing and fill in a few lines without committing to hours of work. I leave my notebooks open on my desk. Make it easy for yourself.

I took a drawing class in the winter, and that was really good for me. It was time set aside where I was forced to create no matter how I felt, and it forced me to socialize with other artists even though I'm shy and weird. Consider taking a class, or joining a writer's group, something that requires a commitment and other people.

I've had to accept that some days are better than others, and I have a mortgage so I have to make this work. And honestly, you have other needs that you have to balance. You likely have more need for downtime than you did before, and if you're not meeting that need then you're not going to be able to access your creativity.

Tazlima · May 21, 2018

DanielaTorre said:
... I don't want to write. I'm always tired. Everything feels like a chore...

... I feel dead inside. Emotionless. Also, I should mention that I have the same aversion to video games, reading, sculpting (I like to play with clay), and anything that I used to take pleasure in.

So, I'm not a doctor and I hate to play armchair shrink here but, as someone who's been there, these two lines scream "depression" to me. Additionally, "always tired" can be a symptom of many different health issues.

Certainly try various exercises and things to get the creative juices flowing, but I'd also strongly suggest a visit to your doctor. All the creativity exercises in the world won't help if the issue is your thyroid or something, and if you ARE suffering from depression, there are a lot of treatment options to help you out of that morass.

Qwest · May 21, 2018

While does sound like the job might be at the root of the issue, I'm with Tazlima: it's worth getting yourself checked out by a doctor. It could also be a thyroid issue?

Something else that springs to mind when reading your post is that your last job seemed less sociable and this one seems very sociable. All the social interaction might be draining you?

DanielSTJ · May 21, 2018

Hopefully, it's just a settling-in period!

lis_kb · May 22, 2018

Agree that it might be good to visit a therapist. But I do also agree that it's probably a settling in period. I just switched jobs --- I went from an incredibly fast-paced job where there was no down time and no isolation (plus an hour commute) to a job with no commute, lots of down time and some isolation. Believe it or not, the first job was (at first) more conducive to my writing because I had adjusted my life schedule (and my interior creativity clock) to fit it. Once that changed, the writing schedule I had once utilized no longer worked so I eventually changed my writing schedule to fit the new job. Now I'm back to a faster-paced job and my schedule has had to change again. It takes some time but you'll find it. I used to only be able to write first thing in the morning at home, now I usually write in the evening after work in a bar or coffee shop. Never thought that would be me but it just seems to work best right now so I'm doing it.

Give yourself a break and some space. You'll get there!

talktidy · May 22, 2018

Sounds like the job is knackering you. My daily word count is currently pretty low, but before I retired I was only able to write in patches on the weekend or when I was on leave.

Lawless · May 22, 2018

Speaking of health: before letting a doctor tell you how screwed you are, try taking vitamin C (1000 or even 2000 mg a day). I've used it to get from worn out to energetic pretty quickly.

TinaG · May 22, 2018

I started drinking healthy smoothies with music milk protein to help with my butt dragging exhaustion that wouldn't seem to go away. I am still working on the whole daily word count I too have a lot- work and other stuff that keeps my fingers from lovin the old keyboard. I have set a chapter a day goal which I never make but it keeps the old fingers at the board daily so it is helping. If you would like a few smoothie recipes I use let me know I will share. Best of luck to you

Snitchcat · May 22, 2018

Just questions for you to answer; no need to share the answers if you don't want to:

Are you drinking enough water each day?
Are you getting enough vitamin D each day -- supplements / being outside in the sunlight?
Are you getting enough exercise during the week (exercise provides an energy boost the next day)?
Are you depending on caffeine to get you through each day? If so, strongly recommend cutting back and substituting with a lot of water -- caffeine dehydrates the body (including the brain, and the brain needs water to fully function).
How long has your tiredness and lack of interest in anything enjoyable lasted so far? (More than 2 - 3 weeks after settling in may be cause to see a doc.)
Settling in may take more than 3 months -- give it a little longer, maybe six months to a year? (Sometimes, a drastic change in "thinking mode" can take longer than expected to adjust to.)

Hope you get your creativity back on track soon. Good luck!

the.real.gwen.simon · May 23, 2018

I'm going to second all of the advice about taking good care of your body and maybe seeing a doctor.

I am also going to include a suggestion that might help whether you're sick or not: Make time. Set aside an hour a day, and make it yours. No one else gets to have it, not your work or your SO or your kids or your dog. It's all yours, and it's all for writing. Maybe you don't write a whole lot the first time, or the third time, or the tenth time, but give yourself space to work with and do whatever you can with that hour. 50 words an hour may mean it takes you a very, very long time to finish a manuscript, but you will have a manuscript.

The other thing to do is not try to force it. If all you wrote today was 50 words, that was 50 more words than 98% of people wrote today. Don't say "I HAVE to write 2000 words" or even "I SHOULD write 2000 words" because then, if you don't, you will have failed, and you'll feel worse about it. Wipe the slate clean. You aren't on deadline, you can blot out the word count and no one but you will know. Stressing about writing makes it a million times harder to actually write.

talktidy · May 23, 2018

Are you able to take a little more physical exercise?

I think a gentle walk in some fresh air can stimulate the mind and help with sleeping.

Beginning Write · May 23, 2018

I was in the same situation, and found that taking a break from writing for about 3 months actually refueled me. By the end I was chomping at the bit to get back into it. So I think a healthy step away from writing is what would work best for you as you settle into a new gear (work, life, social routine). Good luck!

DanielSTJ · May 26, 2018

I agree with Beginning Write: sometimes you just need a break. It doesn't have to be for forever.

thearchduke · May 31, 2018

Tazlima said:
So, I'm not a doctor and I hate to play armchair shrink here but, as someone who's been there, these two lines scream "depression" to me. Additionally, "always tired" can be a symptom of many different health issues.

Certainly try various exercises and things to get the creative juices flowing, but I'd also strongly suggest a visit to your doctor. All the creativity exercises in the world won't help if the issue is your thyroid or something, and if you ARE suffering from depression, there are a lot of treatment options to help you out of that morass.

Seconding/third+ing this. I'd also recommend some vigorous exercise. This may sound stupid and difficult, especially if you're already having issues with lowered mood, but it can be very helpful.

New Job Killed Creativity?

DanielaTorre

...

Maryn

Baaa!

frimble3

Heckuva good sport

auzerais

I like puppies.

Tazlima

Qwest

Here on a catnap

DanielSTJ

The Wandering Bard

lis_kb

talktidy

Lawless

TinaG

Snitchcat

Dragon-kitty.

the.real.gwen.simon

Nuclear Novelist

talktidy

Beginning Write

DanielSTJ

The Wandering Bard

thearchduke