Need some help with my mc and antagonist

MapleTree889 · May 12, 2018

Hello everyone, I'm very pleased with this site!

My question is that I've been having trouble with this story plot for quite some time now and I was wondering what anyones opinion would be on helping me make the right choice to go forward with it.

There's a part in my story that involves the hero when he was young that served his time as a child soldier in a dystopian future era. The main antagonist wants to control the mc and other kids for his army so he doesn't risk them rebeling agsinst him or be too self aware, like plan a retaliation against the antagonist. It may sound a little graphic and violent, if it is, I apologize.

My two options is the antagonist uses lots of drugs and methods of manipulation on the kids and mc for years so they don't end up as self aware as they get older. Or before they become soldiers the antagonist first has the mc and the kids brains transplanted into super strong cyborg bodies so he can maintain control of their young minds that will never grow older. Which option sounds most feasible?

And my other question is, since it's a school, in order for the antagonist to keep this child soldier transformation a cover up from the parents would it be plausible enough to have it that the antagonist cloned all the kids to send their cloned versions back to their parents so it's as if nothing happened while the real kids are kidnapped being turned to soldiers?

Thank you so much for anybody that can help me. I would really appreciate it.

Girlsgottawrite · May 12, 2018

MapleTree889 said:
Hello everyone, I'm very pleased with this site!

My question is that I've been having trouble with this story plot for quite some time now and I was wondering what anyones opinion would be on helping me make the right choice to go forward with it.

There's a part in my story that involves the hero when he was young that served his time as a child soldier in a dystopian future era. The main antagonist wants to control the mc and other kids for his army so he doesn't risk them rebeling agsinst him or be too self aware, like plan a retaliation against the antagonist. It may sound a little graphic and violent, if it is, I apologize.

My two options is the antagonist uses lots of drugs and methods of manipulation on the kids and mc for years so they don't end up as self aware as they get older. Or before they become soldiers the antagonist first has the mc and the kids brains transplanted into super strong cyborg bodies so he can maintain control of their young minds that will never grow older. Which option sounds most feasible? Drugs and torture are both tried and true methods of abuse manipulation. That is feasible. Brain transplants are not. Even with it being sci-fi distant future, I'm not sure this would work.

And my other question is, since it's a school, in order for the antagonist to keep this child soldier transformation a cover up from the parents would it be plausible enough to have it that the antagonist cloned all the kids to send their cloned versions back to their parents so it's as if nothing happened while the real kids are kidnapped being turned to soldiers? If that was the case, he could just make as many clones as he wants and send the kids back. Actually, that might be cool. There would be no reason for him to keep the original kids if he could just make clones. You could just not send the kids back, like a juvi / halfway house. He could keep eyes on their durring visitation and such.

Thank you so much for anybody that can help me. I would really appreciate it.

Hope that helps

PyriteFool · May 12, 2018

Yeah, I second the point on cloning. Why keep the original kids at all if he can just have clones?

Plus if it's a school (and thus a controlled environment) you wouldn't need to do much to keep the kids under control. All Antagonist would need to do is present himself as their sole provider as authority figure. you could mix in drugs and conditioning if you wanted, but I'd be very sparing. Those things lose their punch real fast if you over do them. Maybe look up real work examples of child soldiers or authoritarian societies for an idea of how this situation would play out in the real world. Plus if he targets disenfranchised youth (orphans, kids who were abused, etc.) they'd be even easier to control, since he can make the real argument being with him is better than being part of the outside world. Makes him particularly insidious, and you don't have to worry about investigations into kidnappings nearly as much.

I know, depressing stuff, but it sounds like a depressing story.

Brightdreamer · May 12, 2018

MapleTree889 said:
Hello everyone, I'm very pleased with this site!

My question is that I've been having trouble with this story plot for quite some time now and I was wondering what anyones opinion would be on helping me make the right choice to go forward with it.

There's a part in my story that involves the hero when he was young that served his time as a child soldier in a dystopian future era. The main antagonist wants to control the mc and other kids for his army so he doesn't risk them rebeling agsinst him or be too self aware, like plan a retaliation against the antagonist. It may sound a little graphic and violent, if it is, I apologize.

My two options is the antagonist uses lots of drugs and methods of manipulation on the kids and mc for years so they don't end up as self aware as they get older. Or before they become soldiers the antagonist first has the mc and the kids brains transplanted into super strong cyborg bodies so he can maintain control of their young minds that will never grow older. Which option sounds most feasible?

Which is most feasible depends on how close to reality you want to stick. As the previous poster mentioned, brain transplants into cyborgs... at this point, that's really closer to sci-fantasy than sci-fi if you're rooting it in existing tech. But in your world, you make the rules. Anne McCaffrey was putting the brains of children into spaceships and cities decades ago (her Brain and Brawn Ship series). You could make it a multi-step procedure, maybe - one that not all children survive, one seen by them as a test of "worthiness."

As for the first option (drugs and torture), which would be closer to our world/tech... have you looked into indoctrination of child soldiers, and indoctrination into cults? Humans can be brainwashed rather easily, especially if you start young. Amp that up with a few Macguffin drugs and maybe some invented surgical procedures to alter the mind and aging process (so they don't develop adult reasoning capacities, for instance), and you basically have a meat puppet dancing on the antagonist's strings.

MapleTree889 said:
And my other question is, since it's a school, in order for the antagonist to keep this child soldier transformation a cover up from the parents would it be plausible enough to have it that the antagonist cloned all the kids to send their cloned versions back to their parents so it's as if nothing happened while the real kids are kidnapped being turned to soldiers?

I'm... not sure I'm getting this step. In a dystopia world, why would the parents be oblivious to the bad thing? Dystopias are all about bad things and people living in wretched circumstances, but having to accept it because they believe they have no choices. Why isn't the antagonist just taking the kids, possibly as part of a government/empire education program? The parents would have no choice, and may be brainwashed into believing it's the only way to keep their children "safe" from some unnamed threat. The way you were talking made it sound like the antagonist is basically the head honcho, looking to keep a strong army and put down rebellion against their rule. This, keeping it secret... sounds like maybe the dystopia hasn't started yet, but the antagonist is preparing to make their move by building a secret child soldier army.

That said, if cloning is an option, I agree with the other poster that suggests clones are all you need for the army - unless there's a drawback to your invented cloning procedure, like maybe the original DNA breaks down after so many uses so the antagonist needs fresh "donors." With clones, the parents wouldn't be an issue. (And if your clones are imperfect, sort of like the fairy changelings in myths, are the parents so oblivious they wouldn't notice?

Heck, for that matter, there's never been a shortage of unwanted children, even in our own world. Just set up an "orphanage," or have grunts get the word out on the street to buy or grab society's strays. A dystopia that outlawed abortion and limited sex ed is going to have no problem supplying their army with new recruits. One more psychological string on your child soldiers would be if they viewed the antagonist as their savior from a life of squalor or early death... and, if they are building their army in secret, nobody would want to suspect the benevolent do-gooder saving the poor orphans of being a Big Bad.

In any event, there are many ways to go with this setup - a lot of worldbuilding and character decisions that, unfortunately, we can't make for you.

Good luck!

MapleTree889 · May 12, 2018

Girlsgottawrite said:
Hope that helps

Thanks! That helps a lot. But if he sends the original kids home then wouldn't that put the antagonist at some sort of risk if one of them opens their mouth about the school when sent back home? Unless he controlled their minds so well that it wouldn't happen and they would just bring the feedback home with them to their parents that it was a great experience at the school. This means that my mc protagonist could have multiple clones or versions of himself in the story right?

Girlsgottawrite · May 12, 2018

MapleTree889 said:
Thanks! That helps a lot. But if he sends the original kids home then wouldn't that put the antagonist at some sort of risk if one of them opens their mouth about the school when sent back home? Unless he controlled their minds so well that it wouldn't happen and they would just bring the feedback home with them to their parents that it was a great experience at the school. This means that my mc protagonist could have multiple clones or versions of himself in the story right?

All he needs is a little DNA to make clones so, for the original children, the school could be totally legitimate. He could use his other techniques on the clones.

Also, if he sent the clones home, they wouldn't have the background knowledge the original child had, which would become very obvious, very quickly.

I agree with the other posters who said to use children from an unwanted segment of society. It makes the reader instantly empathetic towards them and allows the antagonist control to do whatever he wanted.

MapleTree889 · May 12, 2018

PyriteFool said:
Yeah, I second the point on cloning. Why keep the original kids at all if he can just have clones?

Plus if it's a school (and thus a controlled environment) you wouldn't need to do much to keep the kids under control. All Antagonist would need to do is present himself as their sole provider as authority figure. you could mix in drugs and conditioning if you wanted, but I'd be very sparing. Those things lose their punch real fast if you over do them. Maybe look up real work examples of child soldiers or authoritarian societies for an idea of how this situation would play out in the real world. Plus if he targets disenfranchised youth (orphans, kids who were abused, etc.) they'd be even easier to control, since he can make the real argument being with him is better than being part of the outside world. Makes him particularly insidious, and you don't have to worry about investigations into kidnappings nearly as much.

I know, depressing stuff, but it sounds like a depressing story.

You're right. Unless of course the clones have the same memories and exact personalities of their original donors?

Yes that's why I was thinking of making the antagonist a very manipulative crazed nut who makes himself seem like the sole savior for these kids, especially if some of them were unwanted or dismissed from their homes or orphans. I'll look more into real life child soldiers and situations like this, thanks. Could I also add in religion into his school as a way to draw the students in with morals and discipline? Like showing them they will wash away sins if they follow him, etc?

Brightdreamer said:
Which is most feasible depends on how close to reality you want to stick. As the previous poster mentioned, brain transplants into cyborgs... at this point, that's really closer to sci-fantasy than sci-fi if you're rooting it in existing tech. But in your world, you make the rules. Anne McCaffrey was putting the brains of children into spaceships and cities decades ago (her Brain and Brawn Ship series). You could make it a multi-step procedure, maybe - one that not all children survive, one seen by them as a test of "worthiness."

As for the first option (drugs and torture), which would be closer to our world/tech... have you looked into indoctrination of child soldiers, and indoctrination into cults? Humans can be brainwashed rather easily, especially if you start young. Amp that up with a few Macguffin drugs and maybe some invented surgical procedures to alter the mind and aging process (so they don't develop adult reasoning capacities, for instance), and you basically have a meat puppet dancing on the antagonist's strings.

I'm... not sure I'm getting this step. In a dystopia world, why would the parents be oblivious to the bad thing? Dystopias are all about bad things and people living in wretched circumstances, but having to accept it because they believe they have no choices. Why isn't the antagonist just taking the kids, possibly as part of a government/empire education program? The parents would have no choice, and may be brainwashed into believing it's the only way to keep their children "safe" from some unnamed threat. The way you were talking made it sound like the antagonist is basically the head honcho, looking to keep a strong army and put down rebellion against their rule. This, keeping it secret... sounds like maybe the dystopia hasn't started yet, but the antagonist is preparing to make their move by building a secret child soldier army.

That said, if cloning is an option, I agree with the other poster that suggests clones are all you need for the army - unless there's a drawback to your invented cloning procedure, like maybe the original DNA breaks down after so many uses so the antagonist needs fresh "donors." With clones, the parents wouldn't be an issue. (And if your clones are imperfect, sort of like the fairy changelings in myths, are the parents so oblivious they wouldn't notice?

Heck, for that matter, there's never been a shortage of unwanted children, even in our own world. Just set up an "orphanage," or have grunts get the word out on the street to buy or grab society's strays. A dystopia that outlawed abortion and limited sex ed is going to have no problem supplying their army with new recruits. One more psychological string on your child soldiers would be if they viewed the antagonist as their savior from a life of squalor or early death... and, if they are building their army in secret, nobody would want to suspect the benevolent do-gooder saving the poor orphans of being a Big Bad.

In any event, there are many ways to go with this setup - a lot of worldbuilding and character decisions that, unfortunately, we can't make for you.

Good luck!

Thanks!

I was planning on mixing it into a sic-fi fantasy like theme cause the story shares similar elements throughout. So if I did include the brain transplant project, maybe it should not be right away and if it's survival of the fittest, does that mean my MC would have to end up in a new body as a child, never growing up into his own natural genetic body?

Yeah I would have it that the dystopia hasn't quit happen just yet and this could be the motive but I want the dystopia to be somehow the antagonists fault. it's supposed to be a disciplinary boarding school so it would involve lots of rich kids unless I can include a way how he accepts orphanage kids and others with no homes too.

Well that's the thing, these clones most likely would not be perfect replicas of the original donors without having some faults within them so maybe I can include that as a reason why he'd want to keep the original students but if he sends the clones back home then the parents would likely notice their kids seem faulty or distorted in some form. Looks like I'm screwed on this plot hole then

How do I balance this out?

Girlsgottawrite said:
All he needs is a little DNA to make clones so, for the original children, the school could be totally legitimate. He could use his other techniques on the clones.

Also, if he sent the clones home, they wouldn't have the background knowledge the original child had, which would become very obvious, very quickly.

I agree with the other posters who said to use children from an unwanted segment of society. It makes the reader instantly empathetic towards them and allows the antagonist control to do whatever he wanted.

Not even if the clones were given the same memories and personas of the previous kids? Maybe I could have it that the original kids are sent home but the ones who have no homes or are rejected from going back home would remain with the cloned child soldiers? I want my antagonist to be very sinister and do very bad things. Students from unwanted societies could work good.

Brightdreamer · May 12, 2018

MapleTree889 said:
Thanks!

I was planning on mixing it into a sic-fi fantasy like theme cause the story shares similar elements throughout. So if I did include the brain transplant project, maybe it should not be right away and if it's survival of the fittest, does that mean my MC would have to end up in a new body as a child, never growing up into his own natural genetic body?

It's your story. If you want them to stay children, find a way to make them stay children, even if they're artificially-bodied children. You could also replace them piecemeal with cyborg parts - which might lead to complications if their bodies reject the transplants, or their brains can't handle the stress, etc. But it's your story. So long as you're internally consistent and can sell the readers on it, you could have them transform into flying tree-people and get away with it.

MapleTree889 said:
Yeah I would have it that the dystopia hasn't quit happen just yet and this could be the motive but I want the dystopia to be somehow the antagonists fault. it's supposed to be a disciplinary boarding school so it would involve lots of rich kids unless I can include a way how he accepts orphanage kids and others with no homes too.

Does it have to be rich kids? If he just wants soldiers, I'd think he'd be more interested in grabbing bodies wherever he could from wherever they'd least be missed... or are the richer, more educated kids supposed to be the "Ender" component to the low-level grunts? (Orson Scott Card's classic Ender's Game had the government training child prodigies to fight interstellar wars.) You may want to think through your antagonist's goals and motivations, and what kind of world you mean to build.

MapleTree889 said:
Well that's the thing, these clones most likely would not be perfect replicas of the original donors without having some faults within them so maybe I can include that as a reason why he'd want to keep the original students but if he sends the clones back home then the parents would likely notice their kids seem faulty or distorted in some form. Looks like I'm screwed on this plot hole then How do I balance this out?

How do you balance it out? You wrote your way into a plot hole - you write your way out. Unlike digging, you can write up as well as down. Nothing you write is so sacred it cannot be rewritten. Why do you want clones going home instead of the original kids, rather than keeping the clones and sending the originals home? What plot purpose does it serve? (Note that "it looks cool" is, unfortunately, insufficient to keep an otherwise-contradictory element in a story if it derails suspension of disbelief. The "it makes no sense but it looks cool" defense only works in Hollywood boardrooms...) Maybe you could come up with a brain trick: the antagonist has the kids under hypnosis, so when they go home for the summer they are unaware of what they're really doing in school, and tell Mom and Dad how they did on their math test and flew a kite and took a field trip to the zoo... when in reality they were calculating mortar strikes and flying strike drones and training genetically-mutated attack beasts. No clones required, and the Jekyll/Hyde switch in the same body could lead to some interesting situations... again, if that's the story you want to tell.

Once more: this is your story. I can't write it for you, or it would be my story. (And if it were my story, it would end up having dragons in it, which probably isn't what you're going for.) Sounds like you're still brainstorming/spitballing, so sketch out some characters, do some reading up on child soldiers and brainwashing, let the ideas simmer and bubble... see what comes up.

Good luck!

MapleTree889 · May 12, 2018

Brightdreamer said:
It's your story. If you want them to stay children, find a way to make them stay children, even if they're artificially-bodied children. You could also replace them piecemeal with cyborg parts - which might lead to complications if their bodies reject the transplants, or their brains can't handle the stress, etc. But it's your story. So long as you're internally consistent and can sell the readers on it, you could have them transform into flying tree-people and get away with it.

I'll brainstorm with this idea, perhaps this could be used for one of my protagonist's clone or something. Maybe I can have three different versions of him. Would it be too much if I had three versions of the protagonist? One original and the two others as different clones? Would this frustrate readers? Thank you for your advice.

Does it have to be rich kids? If he just wants soldiers, I'd think he'd be more interested in grabbing bodies wherever he could from wherever they'd least be missed... or are the richer, more educated kids supposed to be the "Ender" component to the low-level grunts? (Orson Scott Card's classic Ender's Game had the government training child prodigies to fight interstellar wars.) You may want to think through your antagonist's goals and motivations, and what kind of world you mean to build.

Not really, but the reason I put in rich kids is because my protagonist was from a rich corrupted and evil family that rejected him and sent him to this boarding school, which is really a combat recruitment for young kids. Though I do like the idea of the antagonist also collecting any kids he can find, especially if they have no real families or real home.

How do you balance it out? You wrote your way into a plot hole - you write your way out. Unlike digging, you can write up as well as down. Nothing you write is so sacred it cannot be rewritten. Why do you want clones going home instead of the original kids, rather than keeping the clones and sending the originals home? What plot purpose does it serve? (Note that "it looks cool" is, unfortunately, insufficient to keep an otherwise-contradictory element in a story if it derails suspension of disbelief. The "it makes no sense but it looks cool" defense only works in Hollywood boardrooms...) Maybe you could come up with a brain trick: the antagonist has the kids under hypnosis, so when they go home for the summer they are unaware of what they're really doing in school, and tell Mom and Dad how they did on their math test and flew a kite and took a field trip to the zoo... when in reality they were calculating mortar strikes and flying strike drones and training genetically-mutated attack beasts. No clones required, and the Jekyll/Hyde switch in the same body could lead to some interesting situations... again, if that's the story you want to tell.

Maybe the ones rejected from going back home or the ones who didn't have a home in the first place remain with the clone soldiers. Hypnosis for returning kids and body switching I can look more into, I'll see what I can do, thanks.

Once more: this is your story. I can't write it for you, or it would be my story. (And if it were my story, it would end up having dragons in it, which probably isn't what you're going for.) Sounds like you're still brainstorming/spitballing, so sketch out some characters, do some reading up on child soldiers and brainwashing, let the ideas simmer and bubble... see what comes up.

Good luck!

Thank you, I really appreciate it

btw I think dragons are cool and I'm definitely not against fantasy at all. Doesn't fantasy sometimes tie in with sci-fi? Sometimes I think of Captain America and Avengers as a sci-fi and fantasy example.

MapleTree889 · May 13, 2018

Last questions about my MC and antagonist

Would it be annoying for readers if I made three cloned versions of my MC all not knowing about eachother growing up as child soldiers through different events throughout their lives? Maybe it could be a good twist for viewers thinking how did this event happen to the MC and how this other event happened to him elsewhere? So it would be like three protagonist versions of him in the story without anyone realizing it's not the same person yet or make each MC, meaning the original one and his two clones three separate books based on each one separate?

Would it be over exaggerating if I make the main antagonist 7 foot 2? Is that too tall for a main bad guy?

If anyone can give me any feedback on these questions I have this would help me so much. I'd really appreciate it, thank you to anyone who can help for advice. That would be all.

Bufty · May 13, 2018

Twist? Sounds more like confusion to me.

But having said that- it's all in the execution.

Your story- your idea- if you like it, go for it. You'll soon see if it leads anywhere.

Isn't there another thread somewhere on this?

MapleTree889 · May 13, 2018

It's different. This one's more about having my protagonist multiplied and the antagonists measurements.

Brightdreamer · May 13, 2018

I've read stories with multiple versions of the MC. It can be done. Tricky, but it can be done. Giving each version of the MC a "tag", some way for the reader to ID them, is essential.

Keeping it a secret from the reader would probably be a mistake, though. Beware the urge to hold back all your cards so you can dazzle them at the end with your brilliant Big Twist; hold back too much, and nobody's going to stick around for the reveal.

As for the height of the bad guy... TBH, this sounds like the height of procrastinating nitpickery.

Say it with me, now: It's. Your. Story. It's. Your. World.

You make the rules. Not me, not anyone else on this board, not that guy across the street with the funny-looking dog and the sunglasses. You. The only thing that matters is if you can sell your rules to a reading audience. If you want the antagonist to be seven feet, eight feet, twenty feet tall - do it. Create a world where that's possible, and do it. (Incidentally, seven feet may not be usual, but there are humans alive today who are that tall.)

I would suggest you do some more reading. See what craziness writers can convince you is real for the length of a story. Try to figure out how they did it - and why they did it. Then try it yourself.

Good luck!

MapleTree889 · May 13, 2018

Brightdreamer said:
I've read stories with multiple versions of the MC. It can be done. Tricky, but it can be done. Giving each version of the MC a "tag", some way for the reader to ID them, is essential.

Keeping it a secret from the reader would probably be a mistake, though. Beware the urge to hold back all your cards so you can dazzle them at the end with your brilliant Big Twist; hold back too much, and nobody's going to stick around for the reveal.

As for the height of the bad guy... TBH, this sounds like the height of procrastinating nitpickery.

Say it with me, now: It's. Your. Story. It's. Your. World.

You make the rules. Not me, not anyone else on this board, not that guy across the street with the funny-looking dog and the sunglasses. You. The only thing that matters is if you can sell your rules to a reading audience. If you want the antagonist to be seven feet, eight feet, twenty feet tall - do it. Create a world where that's possible, and do it. (Incidentally, seven feet may not be usual, but there are humans alive today who are that tall.)

I would suggest you do some more reading. See what craziness writers can convince you is real for the length of a story. Try to figure out how they did it - and why they did it. Then try it yourself.

Good luck!

Thank you, I very much appreciate it. In going forward now, would the readers find it easier to read if I include all three versions of the MC into one story or have each MC be a separate novel and just have each book for each individual MC be in the same universe? Thank you.

mmallico · May 13, 2018

MapleTree889 said:
Would it be annoying for readers if I made three cloned versions of my MC all not knowing about eachother growing up as child soldiers through different events throughout their lives? Maybe it could be a good twist for viewers thinking how did this event happen to the MC and how this other event happened to him elsewhere? So it would be like three protagonist versions of him in the story without anyone realizing it's not the same person yet or make each MC, meaning the original one and his two clones three separate books based on each one separate?

Would it be over exaggerating if I make the main antagonist 7 foot 2? Is that too tall for a main bad guy?

If anyone can give me any feedback on these questions I have this would help me so much. I'd really appreciate it, thank you to anyone who can help for advice. That would be all.

I'm actually reminded of the clones from Star Wars. They are all genetic copies, but they have their own varations in personality and even their designations. There is a lot of power in a name, or even a nickname. Without reading your novel, I have no idea how these various clones are distingushable and I agree it might make it confusing. Then again, it all rests in the execution.

Sonsofthepharaohs · May 13, 2018

MapleTree889 said:
Would it be annoying for readers if I made three cloned versions of my MC all not knowing about eachother growing up as child soldiers through different events throughout their lives? Maybe it could be a good twist for viewers thinking how did this event happen to the MC and how this other event happened to him elsewhere? So it would be like three protagonist versions of him in the story without anyone realizing it's not the same person yet or make each MC, meaning the original one and his two clones three separate books based on each one separate?

The highlighted text is a telling slip - this sort of story seems more suited to a visual storytelling medium than a novel, where you need to show the inner thoughts of the POV character, and therefore pulling off an identity confusion storyline based on characters looking the same is much more difficult. You can easily fool other characters, but not so much the reader.

Be careful you're writing a novel and not imagining a movie.

Brightdreamer · May 13, 2018

MapleTree889 said:
Also since I'm writing a novel, couldn't it have potential to be made into a movie if I wanted to? Maybe I can do both a novel and movie script?

Okay, slow your roll a bit. I get that you're excited. We all get that way about our new ideas. But thinking movie script while still brainstorming... This isn't just putting the cart before the horse. This is commissioning a painting of your Triple Crown winning horse before you've even started work as a stable hand.

If you want to write a script, write a script. If you want to write a book, write a book. Both take a lot of time and effort, and have enough of a learning curve that I wouldn't recommend trying both the first time out.

Read. A lot. Read the kind of stuff you want to write. Write the kind of stuff you want to read. The one thing I can guarantee is that you'll never finish if you never start, and it's hard to start if you can't focus. Nobody is going to make a movie of an unwritten book...

MapleTree889 · May 13, 2018

Brightdreamer said:
Okay, slow your roll a bit. I get that you're excited. We all get that way about our new ideas. But thinking movie script while still brainstorming... This isn't just putting the cart before the horse. This is commissioning a painting of your Triple Crown winning horse before you've even started work as a stable hand.

If you want to write a script, write a script. If you want to write a book, write a book. Both take a lot of time and effort, and have enough of a learning curve that I wouldn't recommend trying both the first time out.

Read. A lot. Read the kind of stuff you want to write. Write the kind of stuff you want to read. The one thing I can guarantee is that you'll never finish if you never start, and it's hard to start if you can't focus. Nobody is going to make a movie of an unwritten book...

I get it now. I think I'll start first with finishing my book before I even try to process anything like ideas for a movie script. I have a long way to go, even when it comes to writing a novel. I know it will still be lots of hard work as I'm still in the brainstorming with ideas stages. I'll take it step at a time, first buidling the proper confidence in knowing that I feel well ready and prepared to have my story together.

Now I've been told that having two other clones of my MC, one being the brain transplant, might seem.confusing to readers and will be hard to follow along. That might be true but that I can always work around somehow.

The bigger problem is making it plausible enough that this would be necessary. The antagonist wouldn't risk himself by creating something or someone that could one day turn on him, unless of course some sort of accident happens where they were unleashed or escaped.

Other reason would be is if the clones are more inferior and no where near as good as the original fresh donor kids, why would antagonist waste his time taking the clones brain and transplant it to super cyborg bodies since the clones don't last long anyway? Only benefit to the clones is they can be created in high numbers and may have less conscious mind and easy to get the job done but their lifespan would be very short.

Lakey · May 14, 2018

MapleTree889 said:
The antagonist wouldn't risk himself by creating something or someone that could one day turn on him, unless of course some sort of accident happens where they were unleashed or escaped.

Hubris is a powerful thing. You might find some inspiration reading Frankenstein.

Twick · May 14, 2018

MapleTree889 said:
Would it be over exaggerating if I make the main antagonist 7 foot 2? Is that too tall for a main bad guy?

If you're shooting for realism, yes. I did a quick google, and out of the 7 billion or so people alive today, about 2800 are over seven feet tall. And many of those suffer from medical conditions that shorten their lifespan significantly.

If you're going for a wild and crazy scifi atmosphere, you could get away with it, I suppose. But if your goal is simply to make him intimidating, I suggest you watch the movie Steel, starring Shaquille O'Neil, and see just how non-intimidating a lumbering giant of a man is.

Bing Z · May 14, 2018

But Richard Kiel (Jaws in the James Bond franchise) was pretty intimidating. He was 7'2. Maybe those steel teeth helped.

And at 7'0, Pau Gasol is pretty good looking. Maybe even hot, but I am hetero, so I dunno. :Shrug:

MapleTree889 · May 14, 2018

Lakey said:
Hubris is a powerful thing. You might find some inspiration reading Frankenstein.

That's another possibility I had in mind. If I wanted to make it less confusing for readers, would it be better to have the transplanted brain character as an old friend of the past or have it be his cloned brain?

Twick · May 14, 2018

MapleTree889 said:
That's another possibility I had in mind. If I wanted to make it less confusing for readers, would it be better to have the transplanted brain character as an old friend of the past or have it be his cloned brain?

I don't know, because there's not enough to judge by. Go write your story, and try to make it as clear as possible.

I know that when you start writing, talking about your writing is less scary than doing it. But write first. Then we can discuss whether it works or not.

MapleTree889 · May 14, 2018

Twick said:
If you're shooting for realism, yes. I did a quick google, and out of the 7 billion or so people alive today, about 2800 are over seven feet tall. And many of those suffer from medical conditions that shorten their lifespan significantly.

If you're going for a wild and crazy scifi atmosphere, you could get away with it, I suppose. But if your goal is simply to make him intimidating, I suggest you watch the movie Steel, starring Shaquille O'Neil, and see just how non-intimidating a lumbering giant of a man is.

Well if it is in the future, like around 100 years from now, would a 7 foot leader not seem so unordinary, due to genetic changes and human evolution? Or would the height differences really be no different than today?

I could just make him like 6'7 6'4 or something and have his massive bodyguard over 7 foot if that's more believable.

MapleTree889 · May 14, 2018

Twick said:
I don't know, because there's not enough to judge by. Go write your story, and try to make it as clear as possible.

I know that when you start writing, talking about your writing is less scary than doing it. But write first. Then we can discuss whether it works or not.

Got it. Will I be able to have it critiqued here once I'm done?

Need some help with my mc and antagonist

MapleTree889

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