Writing a scene with both the protagonist and antagonist in the same area.

Mysterywriter82

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How do I write a scene where the detective and the killer are 200 feet away from each other and don't know it and not use a scene break
 

Girlsgottawrite

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If you're writing in 3rd person omniscient, you can do this sort of head jumping, though you have to be very careful that it doesn't jar the reader. Omniscient is notoriously difficult to do well. Otherwise, you will need to use a scene break. Just begin the scene from one POV, then stop, switch to the other POV and continue the scene.
 

ironmikezero

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If you intend to switch contemporaneous POVs, don't be surprised if the editor/publisher insists on a scene break; notwithstanding that it's essentially the same event. House rules are usually pretty firm.
 

Bufty

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Do you mean how do you let the reader know they are 200 feet apart?

Just to vary from previous observations. Why kill the suspense? Why does the reader have to know this in advance?

Why can't something happen to make it obvious or reasonably clear - to the POV character you are using - the detective, I guess - that the other guy is 'out there' maybe a couple of hundred feet away - on top of that crane stack, or whatever? A bullet? A flurry of disturbed pigeons? Is it daylight? Night? Is the other guy armed with a gun or a crossbow?

It's a mystery/thriller- no?

Keep the thrills coming.

Good luck.

Just a thought. If using both POV's, - and you may not be - who is the reader to root for when these guys finally meet?

Any help?:Hug2:
 
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Mysterywriter82

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Bufty

No the antagonist is sitting in a vehicle two hundred feet away from the crime scene and the reader is to root for the detective when the two finally meet and they know each other
 

Mysterywriter82

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What if I just have the next chapter with the antagonist being two hundred feet from the crime scene watching it all go down??? Also the protagonist (The detective) Doesn't know he is there that way it won't kill the suspense
 

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You can certainly do that, but if you're essentially spending two chapters writing the same exact scene, you run the risk of losing the story's momentum.

I'd look at my outline and ask these questions:
Is the antagonist's POV necessary?
If yes, does it require an entire chapter?
Can the story's purpose be served by a brief teaser at the end of the chapter instead?

For that last question, I mean something like this:

Writing the chapter from detective's POV, in which s/he is involved in exciting things--and once or twice, s/he notices guy in car as the only one not looking scared/excited, filming it on his smartphone, helping, or getting in the way. Detective can think, "That's odd" or "People suck".

Then with a line break or three asterisks a short paragraph of 2-3 sentences from the antagonist's POV.

End chapter.
 

Redredrose

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How do I write a scene where the detective and the killer are 200 feet away from each other and don't know it and not use a scene break

I've done it half-way. I've had the first-person POV detective aware that the killer is down the hall, my detective has her back pressed against the wall with a gun squeezed in her hand. So, she's not talking, she in internals, relating the physical manifestations of her fear. At the same time, the killer is talking to the other pimp and john down the hall, but getting closer to my protag/detective. She's preparing/strategizing in the moment what to do next, depending on what the killer does. BTW, although this is A killer, it is not actually the murderer of the story.

So, my answer is half an answer. Unless you're going omniscient--which personally, I don't think works well in a murder mystery--then the hero/heroine is the one who would be aware of the killer's presence.

In the wonderful book by Markus Zusak, The Book Thief, there's a scene where the MC, a young girl--in a 3rd-person POV, is listening to her parents talk in the kitchen from inside her bedroom. It's a powerful scene because she listening to them talk about her beloved friend being sent off to a Hitler youth camp. The scene actually taught me how to write something like what you're asking.
 
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