I can certainly relate, in terms of writing, if not the rest of my life. I am muddling along in the middle of my first novel (3rd attempt at the same idea) and feeling that it is quite a mess. But this time, I have gotten farther, and this time, I intend to muddle, muddle, muddle my way to the end and then revise.

I used to make lampwork glass beads with a torch and hot glass and I can clearly look back at the steep learning curve that took. My first beads were wonky as hell. Years later, they were beautiful! I can almost enjoy the learning process and the journey - almost! But the writing learning curve is so different and I am in a place where I can’t really evaluate my own work. I have no idea if it has kernels of good writing or a good idea or if it is rubbish. It’s a lot easier to evaluate a wonky bead than to evaluate a piece of writing.

I would encourage you to muddle through the boring parts and the “I’m writing rubbish” parts so you can get to the revision and polishing to see if there is something there...