I got R&R

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Nonicks

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Hi everybody!

One of the comments was that my characters are not deep enough. My protagonist has a distinguishable character, traits, and one big goal (a dream), but the comment I got was "I didn't get a feeling that I know him very well, despite his traits".
What does it mean? How can I improve this? Is there a good writing book I can read that might help?

Thanks in advance!
 

lizmonster

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It sounds to me like either the POV isn't deep enough, or it's a voice issue. Have you tried posting a bit of the story in SYW with this question?
 

CameronJohnston

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Well done on the R&R!
Along with Lizmonster's comment, it sounds to me like the characters need to show more depth and back history. Things to consider mentioning or adding:
-Family
-Friends
-Past events both happy and sad
-Hobbies and interests
-Quirks of speech
-Prejudices
-Fears and phobias
-Favourite food and drink
-Aches and pains
-Scars and wounds and the stories that go with them
 

Alan Aspie

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the comment I got was "I didn't get a feeling that I know him very well, despite his traits".

How can I improve this?

I would not start with backstory but with motivation and where and how it is based.

Think motivation in three layers:

1. I want something.
2. I have a will to do/have something. (Deeper and more craving than just wanting.)
3. I need something - probably for my personal growth.

And there are many reasons for all of these. And they are all in some kind of conflict with each other.

After you have made this clear you write a backstory that creates those reasons.

Now your character has 3-layered motivation, the base where that motivations stands and the background that produces all of that.

Then you do the same to all your main characters.

Then your characters become your cowriters.
 

Woollybear

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After reading 'The Emotional Craft of Fiction' my sense is that good writers do this through many routes. What most of these routes do is contextualize the inner world of the protagonist.

One such route is this: in a scene, find a small detail that the protagonist notices. What is unique in how the protagonist thinks of that detail? In other words, what would the protagonist notice and think about, when confronted with that detail, that no one else would notice?

As a real-life example, every time I have visited Disneyland since 2003 (when an awful accident happened on the Big Thunder Mountain rollercoaster), I cannot walk past the ride without thinking of dead children. I have a dead child, and the accident on BTM happened near the anniversary date of my own child's death, and both deaths were senseless. So, if I were in a scene with other characters and we were all at Disneyland, if we walked by the Big Thunder Mountain rollercoaster, I would think of my dead child. I wouldn't say anything, and there's a good chance no one else in my group would think of dead children.

The internal reflection does not need to involve death, of course.

I recommend 'The Emotional Craft of Fiction.' I am betting that you are showing in your story, but not in an internal and reflective way.
 
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Harlequin

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If the agent has given you an R&R, I would be asking them explicitly for guidance (and see what they are willing to provide).

Other than that, I also can't recommend Emotional Craft of Fiction enough.
 
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Undercover

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All great suggestions. It sounds like she wants more character development. What a character is thinking and feeling, what they are like, (as others have said) a back history as well.
 

Thomas Vail

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Hi everybody!

One of the comments was that my characters are not deep enough. My protagonist has a distinguishable character, traits, and one big goal (a dream), but the comment I got was "I didn't get a feeling that I know him very well, despite his traits".
What does it mean? How can I improve this? Is there a good writing book I can read that might help?

Thanks in advance!
You'd probably get the clearest answer asking the editor what they mean. Is the way you portray the character more like an archtype and not so much a developed person? Do their traits and goals feel like a superficial addition brought on by the narration, and not an organic part of their character? Finding out exactly what is meant by 'not knowing them well' is going to be the best first step.
 

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I would ask the editor to clarify what they want from you. (I might also double-check that you did have an R&R, because I'm hearing more and more of writers mistaking a kindly form rejection for an R&R and it would be sad if you did a load of work in high hopes, only to realise you had read too much into the comments you received.)
 
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