All writers feel like this sometimes... right? (Intimidated newbie feeling intimidated!)

paradoxikay said:

I've never seriously considered publishing before, so pretty much everything I've learned here since I joined is new to me. (I'm so glad that this place exists, though - it's an incredible resource, and worries aside I'm enjoying learning everything I can about the publishing industry.) While a lot of what I'm learning is making me feel I can do this if I work hard at it, there's one thing that's getting me down - the fact that most novelists don't succeed with their first manuscript.

I could go into detail about how I love the story I'm writing with all my heart... but I'm pretty sure I don't need to explain any of that here. You guys get it. And I'm hoping you'll get this particular insecurity too, so I can at least be overwhelmed in nice company.

It doesn't bother me to think I might end up writing several novels before one gets published. I think I need that experience to write something truly exceptional. The problem is that I don't feel like I have several novels in me right now, just the one, and I can't stand the thought of this one being a stepping stone for a better work later. If I, as a writer, am not good enough to get published, I can live with that, but the thought of this novel suffering from my lack of experience while another future novel might succeed is unbearable.

I could put the idea on hold and write something else, but again, it's this novel that wants to be written right now! So it feels like my options are to give up on it being published and get what I can out of it, or just give up entirely.

I know this is ridiculous. I am fully aware that I'm being ridiculous. Other ideas will come, and whether I write them first, or write This One first and set it aside for a few years, the world isn't going to end. I think.

But I could really use a little encouragement right now, all the same.

Click to expand...

The novels will come. My first one was a huge flop and I've learned so much since then I'm embarrassed I wrote it. This firstborn novel doesn't have to stop being your baby just because you write others or the others sell better. I have never been done with a story I've written even after publishing! You can always revise, rework, release a remix, so to speak. This one can still be the best thing you ever write even if it's published in a few different ways.

You're not being ridiculous. I totally understand where you're coming from and I fully intend to do a rewrite and re-release of my first born novel someday. Let your novel come as it wants to. Feed it, clothe it, and love it like you've been doing. It'll grow. I won't promise you great success but I can say that I fully believe it'll all work out okay for you.

Best of luck,
CR

FWIW I sold my first novel. Of course, everything that followed was pretty much disaster, but that's a different tale.

Get as many critiques as you can before you query it. Polish it with everything you've got. Compare it - as objectively as you can - with books you've paid for and loved, and don't stop revising until it's of the same quality. And get your query into tip-top shape - a query letter is a marketing document, and takes an entirely different set of skills than writing a novel.

And then, while you're querying, get to work on the next one. You don't have to fall in love with your first idea, but keep writing. Unless your dream is to publish just the one novel (which is a fine dream, btw), you're going to have to write another book eventually anyway. Might as well start now.

First novels DO sell, just not as often as people who take a few tries to produce something publishable. Don't lose heart before you've even given it a go
Write this amazing novel that is filling your head, then work on the next one for a bit (and you will have another idea that needs to be written!), come back to the first with fresh eyes and re-write/edit and polish it and then send it out. What do you have to lose but time? You will never regret writing a novel.

You're not being ridiculous at all. Some words of comfort - no novel is ever dead. Even if you try your best with this novel, and it gets nowhere, and you have to shelve it - there is always the option of going back to it years later with older, fresher eyes, making a few changes or tweaks, and then suddenly your novel is in the game again.

The first two novels I wrote didn't go anywhere. OK, I was a teenager, but the second was read in full by a top UK agency, so it clearly had something. Having read it back recently, I still think it has something - but needs a lot of work. The thought of potentially returning to that world excites me. The other novel, too, had some really good ideas, if not well executed. Who knows - maybe those two novels could see the light of day yet.

There's nothing to be gained by stopping writing the novel you love and writing another story for practise - if it needs to be written right now, that's what you do. And that's OK. As Lizmonster says, some first novels do sell, especially if the authors put the work in to give them the best chances.

One thing I will say too: I've written eight novels (three have made it, five haven't) and at the time of writing, each was my baby. Loved, adored, and cherished. When I put novel seven aside last year I was devastated - that one in particular had got under my skin. Yet, lo and behold, a few months later, I fell in love with novel eight. That's happened every time I've moved from one novel to another. Some I can see looking back I've loved more than others, but that falling in love process, the feeling that you're totally invested in your book - you may feel like you'll never have that again with another novel, but I'm pretty sure you will. Books are like relationships - you're in love and invested in them, and sometimes you have to move on - but you learn to love again.

paradoxikay said:

This is so, so reassuring to me, and beautifully put, too. It also occurs to me that the things I'm most passionate about in this novel - disabled MC, LGBT teens figuring themselves out - I can take with me to the next. I love the story dearly, but the things that I feel are important in a wider sense aren't exclusive to it, and realizing that helps a lot.

(Posting to a writing forum is making me so self-conscious of my typing style! Note to self: control your dashes.)

Click to expand...

Glad to have reassured! I'm assuming, given the reference to teens, that the novel you're writing is YA? If so, disability and LGBT aren't going out of fashion (as it were) any time soon; there's plenty of demand in the market for books covering these areas, and more. You can most definitely take these elements with you to whatever you write next because there's so much to be explored within them, and beyond.

(I'm normally a rabid overused of dashes, too!).

I agree with what everyone here has said! These are smart people.

I'm also reminded of a wonderful episode of Elizabeth Gilbert's Magic Lessons podcast, where she talks with Ann Patchett, who says (and I'm paraphrasing from memory here, she said it much better) how there's the book you MUST WRITE and there's the book you can publish, and sometimes they aren't the same but you still must write the one you must write. And then, in time, you can look at the one you HAD TO WRITE and maybe you can transform it into the one you can publish. But first you write the one you MUST WRITE.

I would also venture to say the world could use a lot more compassionate books with young LGBTQ+ characters, and with more disabled main characters, and it's beautiful that you're bringing that into the world, whatever happens with it down the line. So bravo! I'm glad you've found encouragement and will keep writing!

My first novel took about seven years to write, and it was the only thing I was working on at the time, so I was heavily invested in (especially emotionally!). I wrote on and off, obviously, and what I should've done is write something else during the off periods. Because I didn't do that, I started thinking it was the only thing I'd ever write and I had no other worthwhile ideas, certainly not novel-length ideas. The truth is, if you love writing, there's always more ideas around the corner. Your mind is focused on one thing right now, and that's why nothing else is coming through.

If you plan to write lots of books, you'll have to send each baby off into the world and... forget about it, move onto the next one. I'm fully aware of how hard this is! Write the book, make it as good as you can, send it out and write something else regardless of what happens to it in the big wide world. (If it's never good enough to send out, or fails to sell, stick it in your bottom drawer and come back in ten years to make it great.)

Wow, thanks for making this thread. I'm in a similar boat as you- my story feels like the goal of my entire life and the stepping-stone approach had zero appeal to me. It's super reassuring to see that there is a space for this feeling!

It's totally fine to feel completely married to the one story that's in your head right now. IMO, it only becomes a problem when you simply can't/won't let that story go once it's finished--or, OTOH, if you never finish it and tinker with it for decades to the point of neglecting other work. I've seen writers do this, and it feels like a kind of resistance to me (to borrow the word from both psychology and The War of Art). If you're really into the idea you have right now, great! Finish it, make it the best it can be, let it have its shot...and then let it go.

I go back and forth. I know my book is good enough to be published (after a few more edits). Then I read someone else's stuff and I feel completely inadequate. My book is only OK.

Then I go to editing and think my book is good enough again.

Rinse and repeat.

I would not, however, worry that other writers don't succeed with the first novel. We are all different. We start with different skill levels, we learn at different rates, many of us work on our books for years and others are much faster.

I don't care how many books X wrote before succeeding. There is no rule I know of that says that. I'm working on my book until it is ready. I expect success. ... unless I'm in my wavering mode.

snoozle said:

It's totally fine to feel completely married to the one story that's in your head right now. IMO, it only becomes a problem when you simply can't/won't let that story go once it's finished--or, OTOH, if you never finish it and tinker with it for decades to the point of neglecting other work. I've seen writers do this, and it feels like a kind of resistance to me (to borrow the word from both psychology and The War of Art). If you're really into the idea you have right now, great! Finish it, make it the best it can be, let it have its shot...and then let it go.

Click to expand...

Absolutely the above! I've seen people spending years and years re-drafting the same book without allowing themselves to explore other themes. Totally their call, but I do think it stymies creativity after a point.

I've queried two novels thus far. Neither were ready for publication, but they were my best at the time. I wouldn't query them if I read them today, but the experience I had at the time of interacting with agents, knowing how long it takes to query and how to do it effectively, etc. was super valuable to me and will help as I start querying novel three next month. You will always be evolving as an author. Your writing is going to adapt right along with you. Just have faith that you'll continue to write the books that you want to see in the world. If you're meant to be published, you will be!

paradoxikay said:

And you're both right. The only way to know for sure that I won't be successful with my first novel is not to try, and even if that first novel doesn't get anywhere that doesn't mean it has to be dead to me. And most importantly of all... I'll get a lot further if I channel all this energy into writing instead of worrying about writing.

Click to expand...

Sage words. If you follow this type of thinking, you are bound for success.