Advice on Show vs Tell - the journey begins

Show versus tell is not very useful advice IMO. By the time you wrap your head around it, you likely won't be doing it anyway, if that makes sense. There's also nothing wrong with tell, per se; sometimes it is appropriate.

Emotional Craft of Fiction has a good section on show and tell techniques and when each is appropriate. If you prefer a free article, Emma Darwin's 'Itch of Writing' blog has some good advice too.

I would post an excerpt when you get enough as it will probably be impossible to say anything helpful if we're all working to vague descriptions.

That said, in regards ti aliens, I would simply describe them. Not a laundry list or anything but readers do default to able bodied Caucasians and if your character doesn't look like that, it's important to get the description in early. (Not necessarily all of it, but at the very least find a way to convey she isn't human). If there are humans in your setting, introducing one early in as a point of contrast could be one way to do it (just as an example).

Tell: "It was a dark and stormy night."

Show: "Lightning flashed across the ebony skies."

It really is that simple.

Jeff

But as another example,

Tell: Grace grew up in a rough neighborhood.

Show: 10 chapters of Grace's backstory prior to the story starting

Or, also Show: Lots of subtle details need to be injected into Grace's mannerisms. Eg phobias, fears, irrational behaviours, learned behaviours, speech patterns, tics, flaws, faults... to reflect her back ground.

But the tell could work too.

Yandiel, it might be a good idea to put up a clear note that the video in the link is a Brandon Sanderson lecture and is over an hour long. Not everyone has a good enough internet connection to play it, so a description would be courteous.

I think the show-don't-tell mantra is taken far too seriously, particularly when considered in isolation rather than as just another element of writing.

On the surface it sounds like good advice, but often it is simpler and more effective to tell the reader something they need to know than construct a convoluted way of showing them the same thing. If you have a choice between showing and telling, it's a case of using the most appropriate method for the writing at hand, rather feeling compelled to show.

Narrate, don't explain.

caw

OP, one of the best ways to figure out this sort of thing - especially in SF/F - is to read (or reread) how others have handled similar situations, then try to figure out how it worked (or failed to work) for you. There is no magic formula, and there's a certain amount of subjectivity involved, but the one absolute rule is that you don't want the reader to stop reading. A bored reader stops reading - and long infodumps and strings of descriptors can be boring. An insulted reader stops reading - overexplaining your world and characters can insult their intelligence. A confused reader stops reading - too much dancing, as well as too little idea of what's going on, can be confusing. (Unfortunately, the line on where a reader stops reading varies by reader, and even in a given reader can vary by genre, or mood, or numerous other factors.)

Have you read books with nonhuman main characters? Have you read books where mysterious characters have been introduced without letting the cat out of the bag about who/what they are? Have you read a book that made you stop reading... or one that kept you glued to the page? Reread with a critical eye. You'd be surprised how just a few key details and ideas can convey a vivid impression... or how the omission (or overabundance) of certain details and ideas creates impenetrable, uninteresting murk.

I agree with others that many efforts to explain the "show vs tell" concept fall flat, or get overly convoluted, or otherwise overload students with contradictory, overwhelming rules or guidelines or don'ts/do's that five minutes' perusal of the bookshelves can "debunk." Learn what you can, but don't feel bound by anyone else's lessons or systems, especially if you can't understand the reasoning behind them; there's often a reason, and the reason often makes sense if you think about it, but don't take that reason as an absolute, in-all-cases rule, especially if it doesn't ring true to how you think and how you write.

If you're struggling with describing alien characters, you might take a look at Orson Scott Card's Writing Fantasy and Science Fiction. It has some good advice on how not to overexplain your world to your readers, how a little really can go a long way. (The author's personal politics grate on me, but the man does know his SF/F writing, and this book is still about the best one I own on genre writing.)

Warning, opinionated responses follow based on my experience in my own writer's journey:

Yandiel said:

... my bad habit of "telling" not "showing".

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Unless you've been writing for ages and you still 'tell' too much, it's not a habit, it's a concept most writers need to learn in the beginning stages of becoming a fiction writer.

Yandiel said:

...[Snipped. Videos don't do it for me, I'm too impatient. But if they work for you or anyone else, go for it.] ...

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I prefer the statement, 'show more, tell less'. It stops some of those forum arguments about 'rules'.

The way you do it is take the time to learn. You have to invest time and effort in learning.

My first critique group feedback was 'show don't tell'. I thought similar things, how do you show this? Turns out you can learn that. I went to the library and checked out a dozen 'how to write' books, took them home and read through the show more, tell less sections. If the advice was helpful, that book went in one pile and if it wasn't the book went into the return to the library pile.

You read examples, you pay attention to how other writers do it in the books you are reading. You are reading books, right? The more interested you get into learning how to write, the more you love to read if you weren't already addicted to reading.

You work on your own stuff, you get more feedback, and you keep practicing. Just like any skill, writing can be learned and for those of us who did not arrive at this place with the incredible talent we see in other people, that means study and practice.

WeaselFire said:

Tell: "It was a dark and stormy night."

Show: "Lightning flashed across the ebony skies."

It really is that simple.

Jeff

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Good example.


Another example:

Harlequin said:

Tell: Grace grew up in a rough neighborhood.

Show: 10 chapters of Grace's backstory prior to the story starting Or, also Show: Lots of subtle details need to be injected into Grace's mannerisms. Eg phobias, fears, irrational behaviours, learned behaviours, speech patterns, tics, flaws, faults... to reflect her back ground.

But the tell could work too.

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This is why I say show more, tell less. It's not very engaging to tell me the character grew up in a rough neighborhood. And obviously ten chapters of backstory is unnecessary and likely just as boring.

screenscope said:

I think the show-don't-tell mantra is taken far too seriously, particularly when considered in isolation rather than as just another element of writing.

On the surface it sounds like good advice, but often it is simpler and more effective to tell the reader something they need to know than construct a convoluted way of showing them the same thing. If you have a choice between showing and telling, it's a case of using the most appropriate method for the writing at hand, rather feeling compelled to show.

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I take it very seriously. Once you've mastered the skill, then you can move on to the next writing lesson. It's a mark of a new writer. Nothing wrong with that, but telling people they needn't be concerned when the critique they've gotten suggests more showing is called for might not get them past this point in their skills acquisition.



At first I had lots of trouble and needed folks to give me examples. Once you've been here longer, Yandiel, you can post sections you are having trouble showing in the SYW forum and people will post helpful examples.

MaeZe said:

I take it very seriously. Once you've mastered the skill, then you can move on to the next writing lesson. It's a mark of a new writer. Nothing wrong with that, but telling people they needn't be concerned when the critique they've gotten suggests more showing is called for might not get them past this point in their skills acquisition.

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I don't see it as a skill. To me it's simply a storytelling choice.

It takes skill (or luck) to make the right choice in a given situation, which of course takes time and writing experience, but a simplistic one size fits all writing opinion such as show-don't-tell is very misleading and confusing, and does not take into account pacing, story content and all the other individual requirements of your WIP.

A more realistic writing opinion would say, show-or-tell.

screenscope said:

I don't see it as a skill. To me it's simply a storytelling choice.

It takes skill (or luck) to make the right choice in a given situation, which of course takes time and writing experience, but a simplistic one size fits all writing opinion such as show-don't-tell is very misleading and confusing, and does not take into account pacing, story content and all the other individual requirements of your WIP.

A more realistic writing opinion would say, show-or-tell.

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Did you notice this in the OP:

Anyways, I have come to the realization that I am having quite a hard time "showing" the story, in a general sense, as I was unaware of "telling" the reader my story. To be honest, I am puling my hair out with it.

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It's possible you learned the skill long ago, or maybe it came naturally to you. But like I said, my responses are based on my experience in my own writer's journey.

I've read more than a few threads debating show vs tell. I admit I don't understand the POV of folks who don't recognize how a newbie might need to learn showing vs telling.

I'm just sharing the insight I gained. New writers tell stories. It's how we naturally communicate verbally. So when new writers start writing, they naturally tell the story. Some of us, not everyone I suppose, have to to learn how to show. After that, then yes one uses a mix of showing and telling.

Telling definitely has its place. All that "you have to show not tell" is a bit silly. Sometimes the best way to explain something is to tell. It's efficient and can be very effective. But as well as this you have to remember that too much of it can get boring. Therefore a healthy balance of showing with combining a bit of telling to move the story along sharply works wonders.
By all means tell certain parts, but also show a lot of the time to add emotion and immerse the reader in the world

MaeZe said:

Did you notice this in the OP:

It's possible you learned the skill long ago, or maybe it came naturally to you. But like I said, my responses are based on my experience in my own writer's journey.

I've read more than a few threads debating show vs tell. I admit I don't understand the POV of folks who don't recognize how a newbie might need to learn showing vs telling.

I'm just sharing the insight I gained. New writers tell stories. It's how we naturally communicate verbally. So when new writers start writing, they naturally tell the story. Some of us, not everyone I suppose, have to to learn how to show. After that, then yes one uses a mix of showing and telling.

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My responses are based on my experiences, too, and from interactions with a large number of new writers. We're all giving opinions here.

My thoughts are that telling and showing are things that writers learn along the way by trial and error and slogan-type 'advice' is actually counter productive. Writers are bombarded by instructions; you must to this, you can't do that. All nonsense, and like show-don't-tell, an opinion unfortunately often taken as gospel.

The real message, in my opinion, is that there are times to show and times to tell, and writing experience will reveal how to work out which to use in a given situation. It has to come from within, not without, by laborious practice without relying on short cut, meaningless sound bite advice.

You said it yourself: "Some of us, not everyone I suppose, have to learn how to show." I would only add 'for ourselves' after 'learn.'

screenscope said:

....
My thoughts are that telling and showing are things that writers learn along the way by trial and error and slogan-type 'advice' is actually counter productive. Writers are bombarded by instructions; you must to this, you can't do that. All nonsense, and like show-don't-tell, an opinion unfortunately often taken as gospel.

The real message, in my opinion, is that there are times to show and times to tell, and writing experience will reveal how to work out which to use in a given situation. It has to come from within, not without, by laborious practice without relying on short cut, meaningless sound bite advice.

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I agree this is part of the problem. Instead of recognizing some new writers do need to learn 'showing' skills, people hear the messages you rightly object to:

slogan-type 'advice' is actually counter productive

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And when it is presented as a slogan, I agree. This is one of the things that turns people off when it comes to the show more, tell less advice.

I agree, it shouldn't be presented this way.

And this is another issue with show, don't tell where I completely agree with you:

you must to this, you can't do that.

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As soon as it sounds like a rule is being declared, the arguments start flying. Debates ensue like: just what is telling and what is showing? There are dozens of examples that are ambiguous.

And sometimes critique is erroneously given as if the list of rules (show, don't tell, no prologues, no flashbacks, don't open with the weather, etc.) should always be addressed. That leads to the recitation that rules are only guidelines.

That's why I try to point out showing is a skill. Most of us can 'tell'. Not everyone picks up showing naturally, some of us have to learn it. New writers in particular tell more and show less. New writers need to learn a lot of skills. Writing skill is not something you have to be born with.

And to learn writing, skills need to be described. Slogans are not often meaningful descriptions. Describing that, telling is how we learned to tell stories verbally, helps people conceptualize the problem. You don't learn 'showing' from slogans. You don't learn it when the slogan is dismissed. And you don't learn the skill when people tell you, you don't need to.

Why new writers need to learn the skill and the means of learning it is what I'm trying to describe.

Your points are also important, labeling it a slogan and insisting it is a rule are important negative issues to be described as well.

If you had a habit of telling, then of course more of your earlier stories will be telling oriented. That's true of most beginners' tales.

As far as I'm concerned both quoted extracts 'show' more than 'tell'. And The Little Mermaid is almost two hundred years old.

Most writers use both show and tell. Experience helps decide when to use which.

Not sure what this means -

You can see when a writer puts out an excerpt of their story which types of stories they are most influenced by and which elements they so chose to show us.

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Ooooops- and Welcome, Yandiel I had another post drafted but it's been overtaken by events.

Yes, fairytales like the Little Mermaid are almost 100% tell, but unless you are writing a fairytale, that isn't a useful template.

Lots of people haven't taken creative writing courses, and you can absolutely still be a beginner even after years I am still a beginner IMO. My dad is still a beginner, at 59. (I am talking about in terms of where we are, craftwise.) I am sure I have many years left of beginnership.

It either helps or it doesn't.

This ‘show don't tell’ issue is frequently raised and there are many helpful threads on it here already. Find them by using the Site Specific Google search box at the bottom left of this page. Simply enter -Show don't tell- in the box and you will be given stacks of links to threads on Absolute Write that have already dealt with or touched upon this topic. The higher the reference no. the more recent the post.

Post #3 is basically the distinction between showing and telling, but the application is a little trickier and sometimes takes time to grasp. Having a strong POV often helps restrict telling.

It's something we all struggle with at some point - both 'show' and 'tell' have their uses. It is usually better to show rather than to tell, but there's nothing wrong with telling per se.

‘Showing’ tends to give the reader a better experience of involvement because he can imagine himself experiencing what the character is experiencing. If the POV is strong the narrative will tend to be showing oriented.

A lot of it has to do with understanding the power of POV and choosing the correct POV for the story.

And as it unfolds there are times when there is no need to dwell on something for any longer than it takes for the reader to be aware of it. Is that 'something' important story-wise and/or relevant enough to be noticed by the POV character - and covered in more detail- (shown - as experienced by the POV character), or is it something that is not of particular relevance and can simply be mentioned and passed by (told - only the facts, ma'am)?

In the final analysis it's the writer's choice whether to show or tell.

Both are perfectly valid tools.

Good luck.

Any story - including or especially fantasy - will benefit from a strong POV to pull the reader in, be it a single or multiple POV tale. Even omniscience has a POV - the omniscient narrator.

I'm going to go out on a limb here, and suggest reading as a method of learning the balance between showing and telling. Read books by successful and respected authors - lather, rinse, and repeat until you can mimic the rhythm they use.

MaeZe said:

I agree this is part of the problem. Instead of recognizing some new writers do need to learn 'showing' skills, people hear the messages you rightly object to:

And when it is presented as a slogan, I agree. This is one of the things that turns people off when it comes to the show more, tell less advice.

I agree, it shouldn't be presented this way.

And this is another issue with show, don't tell where I completely agree with you: As soon as it sounds like a rule is being declared, the arguments start flying. Debates ensue like: just what is telling and what is showing? There are dozens of examples that are ambiguous.

And sometimes critique is erroneously given as if the list of rules (show, don't tell, no prologues, no flashbacks, don't open with the weather, etc.) should always be addressed. That leads to the recitation that rules are only guidelines.

That's why I try to point out showing is a skill. Most of us can 'tell'. Not everyone picks up showing naturally, some of us have to learn it. New writers in particular tell more and show less. New writers need to learn a lot of skills. Writing skill is not something you have to be born with.

And to learn writing, skills need to be described. Slogans are not often meaningful descriptions. Describing that, telling is how we learned to tell stories verbally, helps people conceptualize the problem. You don't learn 'showing' from slogans. You don't learn it when the slogan is dismissed. And you don't learn the skill when people tell you, you don't need to.

Why new writers need to learn the skill and the means of learning it is what I'm trying to describe.

Your points are also important, labeling it a slogan and insisting it is a rule are important negative issues to be described as well.

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Agreed.

My formative writing years were before the internet and I didn't have the option (or ease) of asking all my questions. I had zero writing experience (just an urge to write), I didn't know any other writers and relied on my seamail subscription to Writing Digest to give me some idea of what I was doing. The only way I could work something out was to write multiple versions of my stories until gut instinct told me I'd got it 'right.'

This led me to the conclusion that the best writers are the ones who make the most mistakes (I'm still on that journey!) and avoiding or obeying writing 'advice' without testing it means writers can miss out on essential learning experiences.

indianroads said:

I'm going to go out on a limb here, and suggest reading as a method of learning the balance between showing and telling. Read books by successful and respected authors - lather, rinse, and repeat until you can mimic the rhythm they use.

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That's a pretty safe limb! Read more and read widely is probably the best advice to writers at all stages.