How can I write a better character describing?

Hi, Phoenix-

Read books of the type you wish to write, and see how other authors handle their descriptions.

The approach in the example you show is OK.

Show what the POV character notices about the person when they first meet them, or what is important story wise.

Descriptions are not always needed if the character is a type of person that the reader recognises.

Phoenix- have you tried reading the Stickies threads? You'll find plenty of tips on varied topics in the many links there.

I just had one of those epiphany moments a few days ago re-reading my opening two chapters because I was battling the block... Waaaayyyyy too much detail, on wayyyyy too many characters. A little reading and dissection on some of my favorites works and one starts to realize that most of the time there are no detailed physical descriptions. It's one of those things I doubt many new writers really realize, at least I know I didn't.

Readers have imaginations of their own - why not give a few clues about appearance and let them fill in the blanks on their own? No need to describe down to every mole, IMO it's better to show the personality of the character in your description. Maybe let them see themselves in a mirror, what would they see?

Your viewpoint matters (e.g. first vs. third point of view), as well as the audience you write for (MG, YA, or Adult). Without knowing what you are writing, for whom, and in what tense, it is impossible to provide a correct response to the question.

Also, when writing description, make sure you're not just listing what things look like, but threading in impact to these descriptions. As mentioned above, if your POV is close or first, you can also integrate how these descriptions make the MC feel or what it makes them think about.

Enlightened said:

Your viewpoint matters (e.g. first vs. third point of view), as well as the audience you write for (MG, YA, or Adult). Without knowing what you are writing, for whom, and in what tense, it is impossible to provide a correct response to the question.

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I agree with this. Who is narrating the story, and what kinds of things are they going to be focused on? How does the narrator feel about the traits described? Which details matter most to the story? Narrative viewpoint (or point of view) matters when making these choices. An omniscient-third narrator has far more latitude when it comes to describing every character from without than a first-person or limited-third narrator does. Even so, it can be distracting or annoying if the narrator spends too much time on static description that doesn't affect the story.

I agree that it's generally better to incorporate description into actions as seamlessly as possible. Most readers find it annoying if the narrative stops so the author can spend sentences (let alone paragraphs) describing a character or having them stare soulfully into a mirror for no apparent reason. Some readers, however, are annoyed if description is too sparse. Some kinds of descriptions, for instance the race or coloring of a character, probably need to be out there pretty early, before the reader forms a mental image that could well be in conflict with later revelations. The problem is, if the narrator contrives situations to make the description fit with the actions, it can also knock readers out of the story.

ive read some stuff that says, don't give character descriptions, or at least dont do it right away. another said, make it organic and part of the story, there's a thing called "hang a lantern on it". which means really make a point of putting out the info. "if your a natural blonde why arent your eyebrows blond." "hey lady gaga lay off the pyroxide or pass out sunglasses." that sort of thing.

hey enlightened, i really liked your response and would love it if you elaborate, coming from a screenplay background myself i really need all the help i can get

Enlightened said:

Your viewpoint matters (e.g. first vs. third point of view), as well as the audience you write for (MG, YA, or Adult). Without knowing what you are writing, for whom, and in what tense, it is impossible to provide a correct response to the question.

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hey enlightened, i really liked your response and would love it if you elaborate, coming from a screenplay background myself i really need all the help i can get

sorry newbie here to message boards, did not mean to double post but yeah i should have quoted before... and in i would love to hear more replies for this>>>

Roxxsmom said:

Most readers find it annoying if the narrative stops so the author can spend sentences (let alone paragraphs) describing a character ... Some readers, however, are annoyed if description is too sparse. Some kinds of descriptions, for instance the race or coloring of a character, probably need to be out there pretty early, before the reader forms a mental image that could well be in conflict with later revelations. The problem is, if the narrator contrives situations to make the description fit with the actions, it can also knock readers out of the story.

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isnt that the problem with all exposition stuff we've got to make the necessary descriptions fit in with the actions and be interesting

i find its always best top put a project down after working over and over on a tough section. i'll leave it for a few weeks and then come when i come back i have fresh eyes. especially if things are confusing with not enough description of whats going on. i wrote it ... so i have a fixed idea in my head, but a fresh reader wont have all that head space wrapped up in it. like me the author

Lakey said:

Something I've been thinking about lately is using description as characterization, either of the character described or the POV character.

For some unrefined, top-of-the-head examples, instead of just saying

"Anne was a tall woman who wore crisply pressed trousers,"

I might say,

"Jane had always envied tall women like Anne. The crisp crease in Anne's trousers struck Jane as a personal affront, as though Anne were intentionally flaunting her elegance." (describing Anne, characterizing Jane)

or

"Anne sat on the couch and stretched her long legs in front of her, carefully arranging the crease in her trousers. It had taken fifteen minutes with the iron to get that crease just right, and she wanted to keep it tidy." (both describing and characterizing Anne)

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great advice, and especially great examples, i wish more people would give good examples like this!

CAQuinn said:

hey enlightened, i really liked your response and would love it if you elaborate, coming from a screenplay background myself i really need all the help i can get

sorry newbie here to message boards, did not mean to double post but yeah i should have quoted before... and in i would love to hear more replies for this>>>

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You need to go through some form of formal learning if you did not do so already. For example, select Brandon Sanderson videos (all free on YouTube) teach you the specifics of viewpoint, tense, writing for kids or adults, and so forth. He notes, for example, writing for kids should focus on grabbing their attention faster, write dialogue and conversations faster (making reading faster), but keeping it simplified. This is not the same for adults. For the OP, this will require different description techniques. Tense is important as well.... 1st uses structuring like "I am...." Second person POV, "you did this...." In third, limited, you pick a character and only show his understanding (descriptions, and so forth) of something.

I watched a little over 42 hours of instruction from Sanderson and his guest speakers. I am no expert, and I do not want to plagiarize the teachings of these people, but I think it is critical to undergo formal learning, if you have not done so. Below are some links, if interested. I recommend muting some sport event while listening to the videos (and taking notes on the videos). This helps pass the time. If you stream live sports online, do this only if you have broadband of course, not dialup, Satellite, ISDN, or ADSL. Two streams will be bad for these connection types.

2012-2014 videos: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXI_L_ZrAnXyvMfpJLlx4ng
2016 videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLH3mK1NZn9QqOSj3ObrP3xL8tEJQ12-vL

I watched both older and newer videos of the same topic. I learned you get a more comprehensive education watching both older and 2016 videos of the same topic.

In one of the videos, I forget which, one presenter noted differences in book writing and writing screenplays (following the 3-Act format)....

Screenplays: Act I (React); Act II (Make worse); and Act III (Hail Mary with success).

Books: A1 (Get hero in trouble); A2 (Make worse); and A3 (Get hero out of trouble).

Hollywood happy endings are nice and all, but this does not have to be the case in books.

Bottom line, it's not possible to explain what you ask in detail; there is just way too much information to relay. It's online, for free; you need to take responsibility and time to learn it. Watching the videos will make way more sense than trying to get someone to give you quick, incomplete, and topical guidance from a forum.

Bufty said:

Hi, Phoenix-

Read books of the type you wish to write, and see how other authors handle their descriptions.

The approach in the example you show is OK.

Show what the POV character notices about the person when they first meet them, or what is important story wise.

Descriptions are not always needed if the character is a type of person that the reader recognises.

Click to expand...

Bufty said:

Phoenix- have you tried reading the Stickies threads? You'll find plenty of tips on varied topics in the many links there.

Click to expand...

+1 to both of those

Lakey said:

Something I've been thinking about lately is using description as characterization, either of the character described or the POV character.

For some unrefined, top-of-the-head examples, instead of just saying

"Anne was a tall woman who wore crisply pressed trousers,"

I might say,

"Jane had always envied tall women like Anne. The crisp crease in Anne's trousers struck Jane as a personal affront, as though Anne were intentionally flaunting her elegance." (describing Anne, characterizing Jane)

or

"Anne sat on the couch and stretched her long legs in front of her, carefully arranging the crease in her trousers. It had taken fifteen minutes with the iron to get that crease just right, and she wanted to keep it tidy." (both describing and characterizing Anne)

Click to expand...

I like this because it's an example of description doing double-duty, saying something about the perceived and perceiver at the same time.

Man, I'm really struggling with this myself. I kind of like how something like Never Let Me Go never really describes the physical appearance of characters. I think I may follow that. One major problem I've had is when I have a picture of the character in my head, don't describe a certain trait (such as short black hair) at first, then in the middle of the book her hairstyle comes up. If I didn't already explain to the reader that she had short black hair near the beginning, they're going to be pretty thrown when they've imagined long blonde hair up to that point.

I'm almost thinking about making a note of which physical traits appear naturally in the novel and then going back to make sure the narrative hits on those traits when they first come on stage.

enlightened!!!!

thank you so much!

believe me i dont need quick easy fix, in the sphere of all possible directions i just need to be pointed in the right course!
yeah ill download it all and pour over it, and over, and take notes, and suck it up like a Guinness beer!

brandon sanderson, and the links

thanks again

christoph

CAQuinn said:

enlightened!!!!

thank you so much!

believe me i dont need quick easy fix, in the sphere of all possible directions i just need to be pointed in the right course!
yeah ill download it all and pour over it, and over, and take notes, and suck it up like a Guinness beer!

brandon sanderson, and the links

thanks again

christoph

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Hello Christoph. You are most welcome. Happy learning.