My first writing, about "love"

WiseCrick

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Could anyone help me improve my writing?:welcome:




These days at school, the teachers asked us two related questions separately. “What do you think is true love?” and “What is your ideal girlfriend/wife?”. At first, I refused to answer them seriously. Not only because I’m lazy, but they are also rather difficult and sensitive. I had been thinking for a while, and type it out as a writing practice.


My opinions also apply to myself, maybe they are also expectation of myself. I’m even far away from an ideal boyfriend/husband, but still willing to approach.


Firstly, I believe one should be a good person before becomes a good lover. But the definition of “good”, is also environmental and varies from time to time. From my perspective, in general about love, it’s kind-hearted, loyal, tolerant, understanding, visionary, nice and etc. One person has already been living on earth for many years before meets his lover, so If love can change something, it will only be a little, especially after the passion goes out. Ask not what your lover can do for you—ask what you can do for your lover.


Secondly, I hope she is a good partner. I appreciate one etiquette of Japanese culture, “No trouble to others”. I hope we can survive independently, but we can trust each other, and decide to live rely on each other. Many people live on the plains all their lives, while a few are willing to climb the mountains. The task itself is already not easy, I hope we can increase motivation, at least don't increase resistance. If one falls behind, of course in any situation, I’ll wait for her and always be with her, but I hope, at least mentally, try to catch up and not intentionally slow down the whole team to fit her own need. Even without this ability, at least she should have this will.

Is it conflict with “love”? I don’t think so. People seek for love, actually for warmth, company, spiritual and material support from the other half, I’m also for them. But I believe, God helps those who help themselves. I do hope we can assure depends on the other half when we are in trouble, but firstly I have to make sure I’m worthy this trust.


Thirdly, she would be lovely. After all I’m not looking for a man. How the characteristics of female attract other males, how they attract me. It’s the joy of life. Obviously the female know much more than me, I won’t tell more details.
 

BenPanced

THE BLUEBERRY QUEEN OF HADES (he/him)
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This isn't the correct place to request a critique; that's in Share Your Work. Plus you'll need to wait until you've gotten 50 substantive posts before you can create the thread there. Until then, hang out and join the conversation around the boards.

*waits for mod to come lock thread*
 

Snitchcat

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Not like this.

BenPanced has it right: 50 substantive posts --- you need to contribute and get a feel for the community before asking for crits. Of course, you can go to SYW (Share Your Work) and critique the work there. It will help you with your own writing.

别过急;这个forum是很大的,但是有很多的resources,需要时间细心地看。

还有必需看的:

https://absolutewrite.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?27-New-Members
https://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?332410-Writing-Your-Introductory-Post
https://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?66315-Newbie-Guide!
https://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?21659-Links-to-places-of-interest-around-the-boards