Write it down or dialogue?

Every good author knows too much dialogue is bad.

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Really? That's a new one on me.

Ineffective or pointless dialogue is bad. Not sure how 'too much' is defined.

If it's your story you use whichever one you want to use. I am not critting the content.

The problem with quoting song lyrics directly is copyright issues, which isn't related to whether too much dialogue is a bad thing.

I find dialogue in general is only too much when it gets to be "talking heads", where description of actions and the speakers' surroundings falls away and for all you know the characters are disembodied heads floating in a featureless landscape. There's also aimless chatter that doesn't move the plot forward; small talk for instance can be glossed over, unless there's, say, character-building cattiness embedded within it.

Phoenix_Writer said:

Every good author knows too much dialogue is bad.

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Don't confuse conversation with dialogue.

Conversation is like calling a distant relative and having to go through twenty minutes of family affairs first and getting side-tracked for the next thirty.

Dialogue is a writing construct that cuts through the chit-chat to focus on propelling the story forward.

Phoenix_Writer said:

So, my question is: if you recognize it, it’s too much dialogue—do you either write it down or dialogue? When you don’t know what I mean.

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See above. Dialogue is considered an ACTION as opposed to INTROSPECTION; the Character is doing something.

When there is too much ACTION, the story goes forward at a faster pace. When there is too much INTROSPECTION, the story slows down to a crawl.

There is no bad ACTION nor bad INTROSPECTION. There are, however, story PACING issues when the mix of ACTION and INTROSPECTION is not controlled. More about this in chapter 8 of Bickham's Scene and Structure ( link ).

-cb

Dialogue is bad? Never heard that before. I must be out of touch with every good author.

Too much dialogue is bad? Never heard that either. How much is too much?

In answer to the OP's question, I would use option #1 - unless, of course, those are real lyrics. I wouldn't know, 'cause I'm out of touch with every good lyricist.

Phoenix_Writer said:

Every good author knows too much dialogue is bad.

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Sigh... another questionable blanket assertion, almost guaranteed to provoke strong reactions, right off the bat.

Guess it works for you.

As others have pointed out, this is demonstrably an untrue statement, unless you're implying that people replying here aren't "good authors" because they don't judge dialogue the same way you think they should. Bad dialogue is bad. Effective dialogue is effective.

Phoenix_Writer said:

So, my question is: if you recognize it, it’s too much dialogue—do you either write it down or dialogue? When you don’t know what I mean. Here is an example.

“When I grow up I wanna be famous I wanna be a star I wanna be in movies…,” Amber sings her favorite song.

or

Amber sings her favorite song: when I grow up. This song is written by pussycat dolls.

Do you either #1 or #2. And why?

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Neither option works for me, TBH... and it's entirely unclear in what context this is appears, or what purpose it serves in the scene and story.

Phoenix_Writer said:

Hello Writing-Community,

Every good author knows too much dialogue is bad.

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How much is too much? And also -- can you stop with the assertions that we are then somehow meant to parse and argue? It does come across as though we're the newbugs and you're the teacher.

ETA: Oh I see Brightdreamer already dealt with that. But I'll leave this here, because yes it really is irritating.

There are stories that are 100% dialog, and stories that have none or almost none. Some techniques work better for some stories (and novels, scenes, chapters etc.) than others.

"Too much" of anything is bad by definition, but there's no neutral metric for determining what "too much" is, for dialog or anything else. Very good writers, editors and agents will disagree about what works in a particular story, or in general. There's a lot of subjectivity when it comes to fiction.

As for the specific question in the OP, there's no way to tell which approach works best in a given scene without reading a much larger piece of it. It depends on what you're trying to accomplish in a narrative sense, and on how important the exact lyrics of the song are to the character and story.

Once you get to fifty substantive posts, you can share the scene, chapter or short story in question in the SYW forum, and different members can provide feedback about whether or not your approach is well executed and works for them.

I was worried about this because in my books, my characters talk a lot.

Phoenix_Writer said:

Hello Writing-Community,

Every good author knows too much dialogue is bad. So, my question is: if you recognize it, it’s too much dialogue—do you either write it down or dialogue? When you don’t know what I mean. Here is an example.

“When I grow up I wanna be famous I wanna be a star I wanna be in movies…,” Amber sings her favorite song.

or

Amber sings her favorite song: when I grow up. This song is written by pussycat dolls.

Do you either #1 or #2. And why?

Bye,

Phoenix_Writer

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#1 is actually better. Here's why. #2 is passive. It also shows nothing of the personality of the character.

here's another way.
Amber bounced to her favorite song. The words slipped out, "I wanna be famous. I wanna be a star!" In her mind, she was on stage. It was much better than her current reality in the wheelchair.

(ho! see what I did there?)

If it doesn't matter to the story, it shouldn't be in at all. If it isn't filling the reader in on either the character's life, their hopes, their dreams, their lies (and every character will lie, even your heroes, otherwise they are Mary Sue's) .. their masked pain. All of that is what goes into the words you write, or don't write.

In fact, the more you can LIE in dialog, the more conflict you build. (take that with a grain of salt - it can come back to bite you.)

For instance. "In point of fact, there might have been no Lolita at all had I not loved, one summer, an initial girl-child. In a princedom by the sea."
Nabakov lies twice in those two sentences. There was not princedom, and it wasn't really love. Then again, he tells a pretty tight truth, he admits to seriality. Now, that's a book that probably will get me pushed to the over 18 section of the forums, but it is very important when illustrating how your narrator is biased and twists the scenario. Mere conversation doesn't do this. Dialog, inner and outer does this. Try to make them conflict.

If your hero is brave, have their inner voice speak of weakness. If your heroine is scared, tap upon the core intestines of her courage, give her something that pushes her to fight. If your villian is utterly evil, make him cuddle a kitten in the scene as he orders someone cut up into tiny enough pieces precious fluffy can chew. (I know. Bad wulf.)