The problem of "Was". Was cannot be avoided.

shrimpsdad · Mar 12, 2018

I am using "was" way too much and cannot figure out how to avoid it. Some sentences simply cannot avoid its use. Is there a possibly that all the advice I have reveived about eliminating the word "was" is overhyped? Maybe "was" is okay. I have gone back over the 30 books sitting on my shelf and found that so many authors use "was" in every other sentence. John Grisham loves the word.
I did read a really unique book called, "The Silkworm," by Robert Galbraith. Most of the novel is dialogue and because of this the word "was" is not an issue.
Off the subject but I'll include it for the heck of it. If you are looking for a really differnt read. Have a look at "The Silkworm." Unique in the style and the really weird subject matter.
I am having issues with POV as well but wrote that question in another thread. If anyone has the time to help an author struggling to finish his first novel it would be greatly appreciated.
Actually, I did finish the ms, but there are some problems with it like POV and the constant use of "was". But I did finish it and I at least have one novel under my belt. I will probably trash it because i somewhat used it as a learning tool, but still i did complete 84k words. I am looking forward to my next novel but want to fix these technical issues before starting.

cornflake · Mar 12, 2018

Uhm...why are you trying to avoid using 'was' in particular?

Fallen · Mar 12, 2018

If you used grossly repetitively, it can give a summary feel to the writing: he was this, was that, was here, was there, and can fall heavily into the tell tool of show and tell. It's like with everything else, though: overuse it, the reader notices and is forced to focus on the word over the image, but use it right, a reader won't care how often it's used because they're too lost in imagery and style.

Has someone said you have a problem with it, or are you going on "someone said X shouldn't be used too much"?

BenPanced · Mar 12, 2018

I think it might be related to the whole "to be" thang, that "be/is/was/has been" are overused and should never be used if you can avoid them.

The best thing to avoid in writing: too much advice. Sometimes, you have to use the things you're told not to because you have no other choice to effectively convey your meaning. If you're using "was" too much in close succession, yeah, take a look at what you can cut and how you can rewrite what you already have. Otherwise, I wouldn't worry too much.

rwm4768 · Mar 12, 2018

If there's a better way to write the sentence, do it. If not, don't worry about it. The word was is used in every novel (at least those written in past tense).

It's one of those bits of writing advice that people take to extremes. Beginning authors tend to overuse "to be" constructions, and somehow this advice ends up being misconstrued into eliminating those constructions entirely.

morngnstar · Mar 12, 2018

It's generally preferred to write a story about something that happened, rather than the way something was. You can even hint about the way something was by saying something that happened. For example ~~The man was tall.~~ The man ducked under the door frame. Dumb example but you get the idea. Of course you can say how something was from time to time, when it's just something basic and you don't want to make a fuss over it. It's not a prohibited word. Just try to use it less.

Albedo · Mar 12, 2018

Was also indicates past progressive action: I walked into the party. Everyone was playing naked charades. It's not always a simple 'be' verb. Auto grammar checkers are crap at recognizing that.

blacbird · Mar 12, 2018

Albedo said:
Was also indicates past progressive action:

No. It only indicates past progressive action when it is associated with a past participle. "The dog was brown" is not past progressive.

The "advice" about avoiding "to be" verb forms is one of the most pernicious stupidities ever propagated to new writers. It is utter nonsense, as any significant reading of good narrative writers will reveal, right quicklike. The problem, if there is one, has been noted in Fallen's post above: repetition. Repetitive use of almost anything in writing gets to be a problem; but it isn't a problem associated with the most commonly used verb form in English, or just about any other language.

caw

indianroads · Mar 12, 2018

I recently came across an infestation of the were's. I discovered it during my hunt for were's that should have been we're's (this is something my eye auto-corrects when I read, so I sometimes miss it). It turned out to not be that bad... I reworded a few sentences / paragraphs and I'm in good shape now.

Though - thought - through is another one that's an issue for me, but I know to look for it.

Overuse of any word can become problematic - but as a reader it has to be pretty bad to grab my attention.

Albedo · Mar 12, 2018

blacbird said:
No. It only indicates past progressive action when it is associated with a past participle. "The dog was brown" is not past progressive.

The "advice" about avoiding "to be" verb forms is one of the most pernicious stupidities ever propagated to new writers. It is utter nonsense, as any significant reading of good narrative writers will reveal, right quicklike. The problem, if there is one, has been noted in Fallen's post above: repetition. Repetitive use of almost anything in writing gets to be a problem; but it isn't a problem associated with the most commonly used verb form in English, or just about any other language.

caw

agreed about the advice, but isn't 'playing' a present participle? Was + a present participle = past progressive, because English is English and it never makes logical sense when it doesn't have to. Anyhow, 'was' clearly has grammatical function beyond indicating the instantaneous state of things, which this thread was concentrating on.

mccardey · Mar 12, 2018

I think the real answer here is Hey, OP, you're over-thinking. Write and edit. Write first - and then edit.

BethS · Mar 13, 2018

shrimpsdad said:
I will probably trash it because i somewhat used it as a learning tool, but still i did complete 84k words. I am looking forward to my next novel but want to fix these technical issues before starting.

Congratulations on completing a novel! You'd be amazed how many would-be writers never do.

Don't trash it; save it. You never know whether some day down the road you might want to try to fix it, and if not, it might have parts you can cannibalize.

As to your perceived overuse of "was," when you get 50 posts, put up a writing sample in Share Your Work. And while you're waiting, you can participate in one of the Hook Me in 200 Words threads in that forum, or in the Post Your First Three Sentences thread in the Brainstorming Sandbox.

Also, read the opening page of A Tale of Two Cities.

WriteMinded · Mar 13, 2018

All the books I read use the word was.

shakeysix · Mar 13, 2018

What was you thinking? --s6

shrimpsdad · Mar 13, 2018

BethS said:
Congratulations on completing a novel! You'd be amazed how many would-be writers never do.

Don't trash it; save it. You never know whether some day down the road you might want to try to fix it, and if not, it might have parts you can cannibalize.

As to your perceived overuse of "was," when you get 50 posts, put up a writing sample in Share Your Work. And while you're waiting, you can participate in one of the Hook Me in 200 Words threads in that forum, or in the Post Your First Three Sentences thread in the Brainstorming Sandbox.

Also, read the opening page of A Tale of Two Cities.

Thank you BethS your patience with a first-time writer is so greatly appreciated.

shrimpsdad · Mar 13, 2018

BethS said:
Congratulations on completing a novel! You'd be amazed how many would-be writers never do.

Don't trash it; save it. You never know whether some day down the road you might want to try to fix it, and if not, it might have parts you can cannibalize.

As to your perceived overuse of "was," when you get 50 posts, put up a writing sample in Share Your Work. And while you're waiting, you can participate in one of the Hook Me in 200 Words threads in that forum, or in the Post Your First Three Sentences thread in the Brainstorming Sandbox.

Also, read the opening page of A Tale of Two Cities.

Beth S. You wrote of a thread called, "Hook Me in 200 Words." Where would I find that on the site?

BethS · Mar 13, 2018

shrimpsdad said:
Beth S. You wrote of a thread called, "Hook Me in 200 Words." Where would I find that on the site?

Scroll down the main page to Share Your Work (it's under the AW Writing Lab blue tab). This forum is password-protected. Last I knew, the password is Vista. Once in, you'll see it divided up into sections by genre. Some of these have a Hook Me in 200 thread, where anyone can post, regardless of post count.

shrimpsdad · Mar 13, 2018

Thank you!!!

edutton · Mar 13, 2018

shakeysix said:
What was you thinking? --s6

"Time it was,
And what a time it was
It was..."
- Simon and Garfunkel, "Bookends"

blacbird · Mar 13, 2018

Albedo said:
agreed about the advice, but isn't 'playing' a present participle? Was + a present participle = past progressive, because English is English and it never makes logical sense when it doesn't have to. Anyhow, 'was' clearly has grammatical function beyond indicating the instantaneous state of things, which this thread was concentrating on.

Yes, you are correct about 'playing' being a present participle. I just mistyped. But the main point is that it is a participle, and that is what makes the construction past-continuous, not the simple use of the word 'was', which is what you implied in the portion of your post that I quoted.

caw

maghranimal · Mar 14, 2018

I've had the exact same thought process while on my current WiP. It's incredibly annoying. I just stare at the screen wondering if I'm overusing 'was.' It's probably just dumb. I picked up a book and looked at one paragraph and it was filled with 'was' all over the place.

morngnstar · Mar 15, 2018

indianroads said:
Though - thought - through is another one that's an issue for me, but I know to look for it.

Don't forget "thorough". Or to be so.

morngnstar · Mar 15, 2018

Albedo said:
Was also indicates past progressive action: I walked into the party. Everyone was playing naked charades.

Past progressive is also something to look out for. Often it would be better to replace it with simple past. Not in every case. I wouldn't do it in your example. But it's one of the many constructions that use "was" that can often be improved. It's not a red flag exactly. More of a yellow one.

Tepelus · Mar 15, 2018

In this last chapter I wrote, of 1545 words, 17 of them were the word 'was'. Curiosity got the best of me and I wanted to find out.

mccardey · Mar 15, 2018

Tepelus said:
In this last chapter I wrote, of 1545 words, 17 of them were the word 'was'. Curiosity got the best of me and I wanted to find out.

Oh, now you'll have everyone doing it. :granny:

ETA: Current ms - 1046/64,600 words.

The problem of "Was". Was cannot be avoided.

shrimpsdad

cornflake

practical experience, FTW

Fallen

Stood at the coalface

BenPanced

THE BLUEBERRY QUEEN OF HADES (he/him)

rwm4768

practical experience, FTW

morngnstar

Albedo

Alex

blacbird

indianroads

Wherever I go, there I am.

Albedo

Alex

mccardey

BethS

WriteMinded

Derailed

shakeysix

blue eyed floozy

shrimpsdad

shrimpsdad

BethS

shrimpsdad

edutton

Ni. Peng. Neee-Wom.

blacbird

maghranimal

morngnstar

morngnstar

Tepelus

And so...

mccardey