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- May 24, 2017
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I received this letter from an editor at a major publishing house. While it's clear this is a pass, I'm wondering if there is an element of revise and resubmit to this. What follows is very helpful advice, indicating the editor would prefer one POV, a more conclusive ending to the book, and less repetition. And while it is stated that this is a pass, they wrote "I think you have something here" twice and then said "It's not quite there for me at the moment". Am I clutching at straws here (as we writers tend to do) or do you all think this editor might be open to me resubmitting this book if I rewrote it and made the changes they suggested?
Here's the letter:
Thanks for sending (redacted). I read the whole thing, which isn’t usually the case for most submissions. But I was intrigued. The premise is something the market is drawn to, as is the (redacted) aspect to the story. It's alluring. So there’s definitely something here that compelled me to read more. I will say, one of the things that I didn't like was the title. I think you need something stronger. More than that, though, the repetitive nature of the story did eventually get a bit wearing. I understand it’s a function of the plot, and that each time we’re getting something a bit different, but there’s only so many times a reader can keep getting the same (or similar) information without getting turned off a bit. Especially—and this may be the biggest issue—if we’re not seeing the characters grow. Because (redacted), we are shown them again and again without getting to see much in the way of change. So, by the end, while they do grow, it’s maybe not enough to feel satisfying.
Part of that may be due to too many POVs. I understand wanting to give other characters their due, but at the same time, you have to consider why their stories matter in the end. There’s so little actual confrontation—and so little of what they do affects how (MC) ultimately finishes the story—that it makes for a disjointed tale. Ultimately, I think this needs to be a complete story with clear resolution, and focus as much attention as possible on (MC) and her interactions with the other characters, rather than showing us what the other characters are doing themselves. As such, I’m afraid this isn’t quite there for me at the moment. While I’m always up for a challenge, I think this needs a bit more work than I can take on. But I wanted to be clear: I think there’s definitely something here. I just can’t figure out how to make it fully shine, and therefore I have to pass.
All the best.
Here's the letter:
Thanks for sending (redacted). I read the whole thing, which isn’t usually the case for most submissions. But I was intrigued. The premise is something the market is drawn to, as is the (redacted) aspect to the story. It's alluring. So there’s definitely something here that compelled me to read more. I will say, one of the things that I didn't like was the title. I think you need something stronger. More than that, though, the repetitive nature of the story did eventually get a bit wearing. I understand it’s a function of the plot, and that each time we’re getting something a bit different, but there’s only so many times a reader can keep getting the same (or similar) information without getting turned off a bit. Especially—and this may be the biggest issue—if we’re not seeing the characters grow. Because (redacted), we are shown them again and again without getting to see much in the way of change. So, by the end, while they do grow, it’s maybe not enough to feel satisfying.
Part of that may be due to too many POVs. I understand wanting to give other characters their due, but at the same time, you have to consider why their stories matter in the end. There’s so little actual confrontation—and so little of what they do affects how (MC) ultimately finishes the story—that it makes for a disjointed tale. Ultimately, I think this needs to be a complete story with clear resolution, and focus as much attention as possible on (MC) and her interactions with the other characters, rather than showing us what the other characters are doing themselves. As such, I’m afraid this isn’t quite there for me at the moment. While I’m always up for a challenge, I think this needs a bit more work than I can take on. But I wanted to be clear: I think there’s definitely something here. I just can’t figure out how to make it fully shine, and therefore I have to pass.
All the best.
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