First Mystery

1BadApple · Mar 7, 2018

So I’m writing my first mystery/suspense/thriller and need help. It’s about a serial killer and the woman who survives him. A little background: he’s been at it for more than fifty years. He’s trained a protege. Well they kidnap a girl and the protege decides to keep her. But she’s uncooperative. So he has to get rid of her. He doesn’t want to, but he has no choice. Well she survives, but her mind blocks the trauma and she can’t remember.

Here’s where I need the help. I want to give my serial killer a tick, a tell. She won’t know him when she sees him face to face. I want to give him a song. When he kills, he hums or sings. The song takes him to his happy place. That same song is how she’ll remember.

So so my question is, which is more terrifying?

A serial killer that sings Wham! Wake Me Up Before Yo Go-Go, George Michaels’ Faith, or Katrina and the Waves Walking on Sunshine?

cornflake · Mar 7, 2018

1BadApple said:
So I’m writing my first mystery/suspense/thriller and need help. It’s about a serial killer and the woman who survives him. A little background: he’s been at it for more than fifty years. He’s trained a protege. Well they kidnap a girl and the protege decides to keep her. But she’s uncooperative. So he has to get rid of her. He doesn’t want to, but he has no choice. Well she survives, but her mind blocks the trauma and she can’t remember.

Here’s where I need the help. I want to give my serial killer a tick, a tell. She won’t know him when she sees him face to face. I want to give him a song. When he kills, he hums or sings. The song takes him to his happy place. That same song is how she’ll remember.

So so my question is, which is more terrifying?

A serial killer that sings Wham! Wake Me Up Before Yo Go-Go, George Michaels’ Faith, or Katrina and the Waves Walking on Sunshine?

Do you want to get sued by George Michael's estate, his estate and Adrew Ridgley, or Katrina and, er, the Waves?

By which I mean you can't use lyrics and implications via the title are unlikely to be a good idea.

Also, not that you asked, but recovered memories aren't really a thing.

AW Admin · Mar 7, 2018

1BadApple said:
A serial killer that sings Wham! Wake Me Up Before Yo Go-Go, George Michaels’ Faith, or Katrina and the Waves Walking on Sunshine?

You're not going to be able to afford the fees to use either. Seriously. And your publisher will say no.

Use something from public domain, like Mother Goose or something: London Bridge is falling Down, or Ring Around the Rosie.

1BadApple · Mar 7, 2018

cornflake said:
Do you want to get sued by George Michael's estate, his estate and Adrew Ridgley, or Katrina and, er, the Waves?

By which I mean you can't use lyrics and implications via the title are unlikely to be a good idea.

Also, not that you asked, but recovered memories aren't really a thing.

I don’t plan on using the actual song. I plan on going in the direction of the melody. I need to know if the guitar melody of faith would be creepier. If the upbeat dance pop version of Wham would be creepier. Or if something with the melody of Sunshine would be creepier. I wrote several versions using the different melodies as the backdrop. I wrote three separate songs which the killer would sing. They’re modeled after the three songs.

cornflake · Mar 7, 2018

1BadApple said:
I don’t plan on using the actual song. I plan on going in the direction of the melody. I need to know if the guitar melody of faith would be creepier. If the upbeat dance pop version of Wham would be creepier. Or if something with the melody of Sunshine would be creepier. I wrote several versions using the different melodies as the backdrop. I wrote three separate songs which the killer would sing. They’re modeled after the three songs.

I'm super confused. It's a book -- how are you conveying the melody?

1BadApple · Mar 7, 2018

I working on that part right now. As for the words to the song, he’s going to sing it when he’s keeping her hostage as his pet. As for the song, it’s going to be the strumming of the guitar strings, a drum solo which reminds her of the beat he drummed on her cell. I’m still trying to decide.

Another group said I would have a much easier time conveying the strumming of the guitar as opposed to the others.

cornflake · Mar 7, 2018

But you can't say he's strumming like, Faith.

1BadApple · Mar 7, 2018

Got that part. I’m going more in the direction of strumming on the acoustic guitar. I can’t say Pipa or Ehru b/c they don’t fit the mold

mewellsmfu · Mar 9, 2018

The melody or score is not in the public domain. Music publishers have whole stables of lawyers looking for people who do this. Some advise not using even a title without permission. Remember, even if a suit has no merit, it costs the plaintiff money to defend. Our resident Hamster Herder has given you excellent advice. Go to something within the public domain or choose a different tell. Also, no publisher's going to let you do this. It's just a fact.

lizmonster · Mar 9, 2018

mewellsmfu said:
Also, no publisher's going to let you do this. It's just a fact.

Or there will be a clause in the contract saying you're responsible for securing the appropriate rights for anything belonging to someone else, and unless you point it out they'll just assume you've done it and won't even ask. And if you get sued, you'll be on your own.

mccardey · Mar 9, 2018

The good news is that you could make up something of your own surround it with the feeling you want it to have and feed it into your novel very early.

cbenoi1 · Mar 11, 2018

Michael Prescott' Next Victim does the same thing. Wipeout form the Beach Boys. Except the lyrics are not mentioned, only the title, and it is used to link the Villain to his past and nothing else.

And here is the thing about pop references in novels. 1) it dates the work, 2) only a subset of the readers will "get it", 3) it pisses off those who don't because they will have to look it up, and 4) as it is the case here, it brings absolutely nothing to the story.

What's so crucial about Walking On Sunshine in reference to your Villain? Is there a part of the lyrics that is significant? Or the title? Or the name of the band? Or is there some terrible event associated with the song, the band, or a live show? Do I really have to spend eons looking for something that in the end is not a clue but some mean to artificially ratchet up tension?

-cb

First Mystery

1BadApple

I spoiled Who???

cornflake

practical experience, FTW

AW Admin

1BadApple

I spoiled Who???

cornflake

practical experience, FTW

1BadApple

I spoiled Who???

cornflake

practical experience, FTW

1BadApple

I spoiled Who???

mewellsmfu

lizmonster

Possibly A Mermaid Queen

mccardey

cbenoi1