The artistic (and other) virtues of loneliness

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Harlequin

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Rather than decaf (which healthwise is not really better for you), I would recommend herbal coffee, if you're concerned about the caffeine. Teecino is good but there's a few brands around.

It's not put through the nasty process that coffee is subjected to in order to create decaff, and unlike decaff is properly caffeine free.

A tad expensive but tastes very good. I drank that through my first pregnancy.
 
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thethinker42

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I like being around people... to a point. I can be very extroverted, but then I hit a wall and want to go full-on hermit.

One thing I do miss is having *access* to people on a regular basis. Right now, we live in a non-English-speaking country, and the only real social circle I have is other military spouses. If there's one thing I've learned in 15 years as a military spouse, it's that that community so, SO not my tribe. I usually meet 2-3 people at each base who I can really relate to enough to want to hang out with them.

When we're back in the States, I still struggle a bit just because I'm terrible at making connections with people. Once we've connected, it's great. I'm just not so good at initiating things. Most friends I've made over the years have been classmates or coworkers, and since I work by myself at home... well... it makes things challenging. This is one of the reasons I look forward to attending writing cons every year, and try to go to at least four or five. They're socially exhausting, but socially fulfilling at the same time, and I have no trouble connecting with people there, even if we've never met or have only interacted online.

So thanks to circumstances and, well, me, I'm socially isolated 95% of the time. I have my husband, of course, so I'm not completely alone, and I interact with people constantly online, but face-to-face contact with other people is incredibly rare for me. Maybe that'll change when I go back to the States next year, but considering we're headed to a tiny base in an equally tiny town...we'll see.

It's not 100% ideal, but I will admit it gives me the time and headspace to write, and is probably part of the reason my output is as fast as it is. Whenever I'm back in Seattle (my hometown) my productivity goes down a bit because I'm visiting friends and family. One of these days, I will find a way to balance writing time with a need for human interaction... ideally in a place where there are humans I can interact with.
 

travelgal

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Pep assemblies! Good God!

It's one of the things we Australians find very bemusing about American culture.

Yep, me too. It was explained to me by American friends but still it confounds me. Sounds like hell on earth.

I get asked by coworkers 'Aren't you lonely? It's not good to be alone.' Apparently it's a bad thing in a collective society. For example, students who don't attend MTs (membership training with your major, where speech-making, drinking games and sex prevail) are shunned. This is university.

There is sports week. Freshmen are required to do cheering and dance routines. I swear, uni here would've been hell for me, just like high school in America with them pep rallies.

I need to be alone to recharge my batteries. Moreover, I can do what I want when I want. Space and time become more apparent. There is learning in silence.
 

thethinker42

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Pep assemblies! Good God!

It's one of the things we Australians find very bemusing about American culture.

Oh lord. I hated pep assemblies. >.< If I had known they didn't exist in other countries, I probably would have run away from home until high school was over. LOL
 

boatman

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I see your "Ew!" and raise you a "Gah!"

Actually I have 3 full strength ones before I go on the decaf. It's now 7.00 AM and I've just finished my 3rd beaker. If I had any more caffeine right now I'd get palpitations.
Thanks for the herbal coffee suggestion - one that, having tried one once, I will shy away from. That was a while ago mind, perhaps I'll try again.
I like the taste of coffee and a decent decaf does it for me. My sole herbal coffee experience was a poor substitute, akin to taking a shower in a dressing gown.
 

boatman

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Yep, me too. It was explained to me by American friends but still it confounds me. Sounds like hell on earth.

I get asked by coworkers 'Aren't you lonely? It's not good to be alone.' Apparently it's a bad thing in a collective society. For example, students who don't attend MTs (membership training with your major, where speech-making, drinking games and sex prevail) are shunned. This is university.

There is sports week. Freshmen are required to do cheering and dance routines. I swear, uni here would've been hell for me, just like high school in America with them pep rallies.

I need to be alone to recharge my batteries. Moreover, I can do what I want when I want. Space and time become more apparent. There is learning in silence.

Chacun a son goût. I can sympathize with your situation. Sometimes there is no lonelier place than in a crowd where you don't fit in.
 

blacbird

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Oh lord. I hated pep assemblies. >.< If I had known they didn't exist in other countries, I probably would have run away from home until high school was over. LOL

Quoted for agreement. Pep assemblies, and other gatherings like them, are designed purely to coerce crowd agreement. In a truly horrible way. I avoided them even in high school.

caw
 

boatman

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Being English I didn't grow up with pep assemblies.
BUT I did attend a Herbalife 'rally' once, where beautiful, wealthy, thin people shouted at poor, large people with low self-esteem.
Presumably that is a similar gathering.
 

Tepelus

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Oh god Herbalife! I work at a casino hotel and they used to have their "rallys" there once a month. Thank goodness no longer. They trashed the rooms and order all sorts of food and proceed to vomit it up all over. They were horrible.
 
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