So with my WIP, the group of characters we follow are essentially mercenaries and I am choosing to open the book with them on their first job. This is going to necessitate some pretty fast introductions to a good chunk of my characters. I think its important to open with action right out of the gate, especially given the nature of the characters. My question to you is how much is too much? And what would you make sure to include or not include, i.e. physical descriptions and things of that nature.
Introducing a lot of characters in the first chapter
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Hrm. Can I pick this apart?
I think it's important to open with movement, not necessarily physical but just, the narrative is going somewhere. Starting in actual media res can be a nightmare, though, for reasons you're mentioning here; it's hard to fit in the characters. The best action in the world won't mean anything if I don't care who is doing it. That said, I'm not totally sure what you mean by action (it could be we're on the same wavelength.)
How many is many, by the way? 7? 12? etc. Makes a difference ;-) If it were me I would focus on one or two, for an opening, and flesh out the others as you go. Including physical descriptions for *all* of them will be overwhelming and hard to remember.
I think it's important to open with movement, not necessarily physical but just, the narrative is going somewhere. Starting in actual media res can be a nightmare, though, for reasons you're mentioning here; it's hard to fit in the characters. The best action in the world won't mean anything if I don't care who is doing it. That said, I'm not totally sure what you mean by action (it could be we're on the same wavelength.)
How many is many, by the way? 7? 12? etc. Makes a difference ;-) If it were me I would focus on one or two, for an opening, and flesh out the others as you go. Including physical descriptions for *all* of them will be overwhelming and hard to remember.
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I'd say do it in batches. Show X, Y, and Z separate from the group doing something, and then A, B, and C show up, or X and Y scouting then returning to ZABC. Consider how many movies and books have large casts that you meet right at the beginning (Alien, for example.) Give focus to a small group, then extend to the wider set. What to include, that depends on POV, I guess. If you have diverse ethnicities, let their names carry some of the weight. Focus on important identifying details, like the scar on A's cheek and the bandages on Y from the last mission gone bad and C's dreadlocks with bells that he uses for distraction.
Speaking as a reader. Please, please don't introduce the entire cast in chapter 1, unless it's a relatively small cast of 3-4, my tiny little mind can't keep up with them all. That said, it doesn't mean you can't have a crew of a dozen or so, I just don't want full introductions. Names are fine, and describe enough for me to understand the action of the scene, and let me see hints that the MC has the potential to be awesome, and that will be enough to hook me. Use the middle part of the book to build the characters and fully introduce them as people, then it will hurt more when you start killing them off 
. or whatever it is that makes them important. Biggest focus in chapter 1 should be on introducing the main, hooking the reader, and setting the tone for what is to come.
But this is just my opinion.
. or whatever it is that makes them important. Biggest focus in chapter 1 should be on introducing the main, hooking the reader, and setting the tone for what is to come.But this is just my opinion.
I think even 7 character intros is too much, and also, I hope they have very dissimilar names. Focus on 3 who make the plot move forward, and if any other characters have to be in the scene, maybe don't give them attention or names. Can they be identified by rank or job title or something generic so we know others are in the scene?
Here's a great article on introducing about 20 characters in chapter one.... Of course, this is dependent on the story. If you do a hero's journey, I can see why this number helps.
http://www.betternovelproject.com/blog/first-chapter-characters/
http://www.betternovelproject.com/blog/first-chapter-characters/
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Seems like the general consensus is less is more, especially as far as descriptions go. I think as I revise this I will reconstruct the scene a little so were only really meeting five in the first pages, the others can probably be moved to the background for now.
On a side note, I’m really enjoying picking everyone’s brains since I found this forum, so thank you everyone for taking the time to indulge me.
On a side note, I’m really enjoying picking everyone’s brains since I found this forum, so thank you everyone for taking the time to indulge me.
Okay. A James Bond opening. Is the story about one Hero or a bunch of Heroes?
What exactly is their nature? Readers have a pretty good idea what mercenaries do for a living, and where they do it. If your opening scene just confirms their hypothesis, you have achieved NOTHING. Pick the Hero apart. What makes HIM/HER special? That's what we want to know.
-cb
I think you should keep a tight focus on the MC. If the other character's make an appearance or cross paths with the MC, don't feel like you have to describe them in detail like a normal character introduction. You'll have time in the next couple of chapters to flesh out description. Keep the POV on one person (hopefully the MC) and focus on investing the reader in that character.
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While opening with an action scene can work, unless the reader gets to know and care about the MC, then whatever is at stake for them in that opening is pointless. Asking a reader to inhale 3-6 characters in a very few pages is too much.
I've read the slush pile and done a lot of critiques, and names and descriptions don't stick in my head unless I have a reason to care about and identify with them. One action scene had so much action in it that the writer forgot to mention both the name and gender of the viewpoint character. Plenty of jumping about, running and shooting, but no hero!
It's been recommended you intro 3 at a time, then the next batch and so on, and I can agree with that. It really does depend how you structure their mission. If it is possible to accomplish their goal with as few people as possible, do so.
Please also tell us you've read plenty of non-fiction books on military operations. I have dipped into a few and what goes on is usually radically different from what's in movies and vid games.
Make absolutely sure all the names start with different letters and do not rhyme. No Jim, Tim, Lynn, Lane, Blaine or Caine.
Now a question: are you visualizing this as a movie in your head? That's a device I've used, but with fewer characters. Each gets their own intro as they occur in the plot.
But the problem with this device is having the narrative be too much like a movie. It is a visual medium, and in a good film it is easy to follow the plot with the sound off. You are working in words, and descriptions of action do not take up much page space. What is unique to words is it allows the reader to get inside a character's head and feel their emotions and steam in their sweat. The character is letting them know what's going on internally. In a movie all we get is a closeup with an actor looking grim.
We don't need even a capsule description of all the characters, but focus on the viewpoint MC doing something.
EX:
Blake scowled at the innards of the bomb in front of him. "Gimme your knife, Jim."
Jim, face obscured by night vision goggles, was focused on the entry of the parking lot, alert for the next guard patrol. He slapped a pocket and pulled out a multi-tool. Somehow he dropped it into Blake's hand without looking down.
"This isn't a knife."
"Think outside the box. How long do you have?"
That was a telling question, how long do you have, not we. Anything less than a minute and Jim would bolt for cover. "Three minutes," said Blake, opening the multi-tool. The timer on the bomb had just passed thirty seconds.
-------------------------------
Okay, in that short bit we know Blake takes chances and Jim is not going to risk himself unnecessarily. We don't need to know what they look like, only that Blake had better resolve things in 29 seconds or it's the end of the book. Jim may give Blake hell for lying to him, or not, and if it's an important character conflict between them it can be developed through the book. In the next line a third member of the team can come up, see the timer ticking down, and sensibly bug out of there, or -- if he has absolute trust in Blake's ability to disarm bombs -- he might stick around. Which tells us something about him.
The above bit could be a third person omniscient VP or third person subjective, depending how the scene proceeds. I prefer the latter, both to write and read since it projects the reader right into the MCs head. No one has to figure out who's the hero.
That's one of my other devices as a writer, make it clear from the start who the MC is or readers get frustrated. Dropping a dozen names into a few pages is just going to annoy them, but having to figure out who they're supposed to follow might cause them to close the book and move on to another.
While YOU may know each of the characters very well indeed, a reader does not. Ever been in a social situation where you meet a bunch of people in less than a minute? It feels like that. No one likes it much!
I've read the slush pile and done a lot of critiques, and names and descriptions don't stick in my head unless I have a reason to care about and identify with them. One action scene had so much action in it that the writer forgot to mention both the name and gender of the viewpoint character. Plenty of jumping about, running and shooting, but no hero!
It's been recommended you intro 3 at a time, then the next batch and so on, and I can agree with that. It really does depend how you structure their mission. If it is possible to accomplish their goal with as few people as possible, do so.
Please also tell us you've read plenty of non-fiction books on military operations. I have dipped into a few and what goes on is usually radically different from what's in movies and vid games.
Make absolutely sure all the names start with different letters and do not rhyme. No Jim, Tim, Lynn, Lane, Blaine or Caine.
Now a question: are you visualizing this as a movie in your head? That's a device I've used, but with fewer characters. Each gets their own intro as they occur in the plot.
But the problem with this device is having the narrative be too much like a movie. It is a visual medium, and in a good film it is easy to follow the plot with the sound off. You are working in words, and descriptions of action do not take up much page space. What is unique to words is it allows the reader to get inside a character's head and feel their emotions and steam in their sweat. The character is letting them know what's going on internally. In a movie all we get is a closeup with an actor looking grim.
We don't need even a capsule description of all the characters, but focus on the viewpoint MC doing something.
EX:
Blake scowled at the innards of the bomb in front of him. "Gimme your knife, Jim."
Jim, face obscured by night vision goggles, was focused on the entry of the parking lot, alert for the next guard patrol. He slapped a pocket and pulled out a multi-tool. Somehow he dropped it into Blake's hand without looking down.
"This isn't a knife."
"Think outside the box. How long do you have?"
That was a telling question, how long do you have, not we. Anything less than a minute and Jim would bolt for cover. "Three minutes," said Blake, opening the multi-tool. The timer on the bomb had just passed thirty seconds.
-------------------------------
Okay, in that short bit we know Blake takes chances and Jim is not going to risk himself unnecessarily. We don't need to know what they look like, only that Blake had better resolve things in 29 seconds or it's the end of the book. Jim may give Blake hell for lying to him, or not, and if it's an important character conflict between them it can be developed through the book. In the next line a third member of the team can come up, see the timer ticking down, and sensibly bug out of there, or -- if he has absolute trust in Blake's ability to disarm bombs -- he might stick around. Which tells us something about him.
The above bit could be a third person omniscient VP or third person subjective, depending how the scene proceeds. I prefer the latter, both to write and read since it projects the reader right into the MCs head. No one has to figure out who's the hero.
That's one of my other devices as a writer, make it clear from the start who the MC is or readers get frustrated. Dropping a dozen names into a few pages is just going to annoy them, but having to figure out who they're supposed to follow might cause them to close the book and move on to another.
While YOU may know each of the characters very well indeed, a reader does not. Ever been in a social situation where you meet a bunch of people in less than a minute? It feels like that. No one likes it much!
I have read a lot of non fiction on military operations, bit of a history nerd
Still, I imagine i'll when I revise i'll find I strayed into action move land more than I want to, fully aware of this. I confess there are two characters whose names start with the same letter, but with cause! They are twins of different genders.
Tolkien did a pretty good job with the start of the movie version of the Lord of the Rings, with the assembling of the questers. There were three groups: Frodo and his friend Sam, wizard Gandalf, and the Seven Dwarves (or however many there were). Two or three of the dwarves were made distinctive, just enough but not too much.
Sure, you can start with a big cast of characters, but the more there are the tougher it will be satisfy your readers. Do it if you feel you must, but work to do it well.
About starting with action: It's a good idea, but it does not have to be big action like a fight. It can be fairly small actions as long as they do move the story along.
Sure, you can start with a big cast of characters, but the more there are the tougher it will be satisfy your readers. Do it if you feel you must, but work to do it well.
About starting with action: It's a good idea, but it does not have to be big action like a fight. It can be fairly small actions as long as they do move the story along.
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Laer reminded me that when I was kid, middle school age or so, I started the Hobbit. The very page Tolkien dropped the names of all the dwarves I put the book down and couldn't pick it up again for another year.
I've always been bad with names, however. As a writer I'm naturally sensitive to that and don't try to introduce too many characters at once. I like Gillhoughly's "rule of 3." In my WIP I think I've drifted towards that rule on my own, anyway.
I've always been bad with names, however. As a writer I'm naturally sensitive to that and don't try to introduce too many characters at once. I like Gillhoughly's "rule of 3." In my WIP I think I've drifted towards that rule on my own, anyway.
Well in Snow White we learn about the seven dwarfs all at once But I agree too many characters all at once is overwhelming and hard to remember. Small batches are easier to read and sort.
As for the name thing and different letters I disagree. J.K Rowling had no problems with Harry, Hermione, Hagrid, and Hedwig and they all went to Hogwarts. If a ten year old can get it all straight I think an adult shouldn't have any issues with a few names starting with the same letter.
But I agree too many characters all at once is overwhelming and hard to remember. Small batches are easier to read and sort. As for the name thing and different letters I disagree. J.K Rowling had no problems with Harry, Hermione, Hagrid, and Hedwig and they all went to Hogwarts. If a ten year old can get it all straight I think an adult shouldn't have any issues with a few names starting with the same letter.
My quibble with the above is that the 7 dwarfs aren't in the opening chapter, and they're not the main characters ;-)
Snow White is the MC in Snow White, and we learn about her first. The dwarfs come much later and not much focus is given to them.
Snow White is the MC in Snow White, and we learn about her first. The dwarfs come much later and not much focus is given to them.
I happened to re-read Agatha Christie's The Hollow recently, and noticed how skillfully she introduced a half-dozen or more characters in the first chapter (this is true of a number of her books). Of course, she was a genius. But I think one reason the chapter worked is because she did a short scene in close third POV for each of the VERY different characters, encapsulating each character's outlook and personality and conflict in his/her own very different voice. After the character's 2-3 page scene, that character was both real and distinct, and was firmly imprinted in my mind. Although the plot and setup in that book are completely different from what you are doing, I thought perhaps it might be helpful for you to take a look at it to see how she pulled it off, and consider whether there might be a way of presenting similar segments for your characters within the context of your very different plot.
Ummmm . . . Tolkien didn't do any "job" with the start of the movie version of Lord of the Rings. He had been dead for half a century. Peter Jackson, on the other hand . . .
So how well did Tolkien actually do this in his book?
caw
I wondered if anyone would point this out!
It's been too long since I read Tolkien. Anyone here have an answer?
Bilbo was introduced first. Then gandalf. Then the dwarves arrived in small batches. Each batch had rhyming names.
They didn't really begin to distinguish until the journey went on. Mostly the dwarves fell into the category of antagonistic or sympathetic to Bilbo, changing slowly over time, and Thorin of course was given space to develop.
They didn't really begin to distinguish until the journey went on. Mostly the dwarves fell into the category of antagonistic or sympathetic to Bilbo, changing slowly over time, and Thorin of course was given space to develop.
I think it may work best to pick one viewpoint and expand from there scene by scene rather than trying to put too many new characters in a single scene.
A small amount of wiggle room can be added if a named character also has a role or title. It's a trick to remind the reader so they don't feel overwhelmed. Judge Judy. Corpsman O'Reilly. Even Little Joey, Baby Annie. Aunt Martha, etc. Just enough so the reader doesn't get tripped up when that name shows up again. Which one was Annie? Which one was Martha?
If one of your characters has a distinctive feature and it's grown into a nickname - Shorty, or Fats, or Freckles, that might be a thing to play with. Snow White's dwarves were not really given names but rather attributes as names. We all assume Grumpy is just that. Of course, he was drawn to be as well.
If one of your characters has a distinctive feature and it's grown into a nickname - Shorty, or Fats, or Freckles, that might be a thing to play with. Snow White's dwarves were not really given names but rather attributes as names. We all assume Grumpy is just that. Of course, he was drawn to be as well.
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As long as the reader can follow what is going on, no number is too many. And readers are smart. If it makes sense to introduce all of your characters in one hit, they will assume it is for a reason and these characters, even if briefly mentioned, will become important as the story develops.
I introduced most of my main characters in chapter one, which was told from one POV during a flogging aboard a ship. This provided a focal point of action through the scene and allowed regular breaks to observe other people when the event became too gruesome for the POV character. And the various reactions to the flogging allowed me to include a lot of character description without getting bogged down in detail. It worked out much better than I thought it would during the writing!
How many characters are in the group? If it's more than three, I'd focus more on who they are than what they look like.