On withholding information from the reader

blackcat777

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"Don't withhold information from the reader."

This bit of writing advice popped up on my radar twice in the past 24 hours, and it's something I haven't heard before.

What is the intention behind this advice? What are ways in which authors can withhold information to their own detriment? What flavor of pitfall is this advice supposed to protect against?

I love plot twists and surprises. If I were Chekhov, I'd have more guns than the NRA. If Tyler Durden spilled the beans on page one, what would be the point of Fight Club?

Granted, I can think of a book I read that annoyed me because "the secret in the past" was never disclosed until the end, but all the characters ranted endlessly about "the secret," without giving any clues to what it was. I think what bothered me was that the author handled it in such a way that I had no investment in the characters. I had no reason to care about anyone's secrets, and there also weren't any clues in place for me to puzzle over or guess what the secret might have been. (As a reader, I LOVE to puzzle and guess.) Neither my emotions nor curiosity were involved.
 

The Black Prince

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Don't withhold info from the reader? What?

What is plot but the careful drip feed of info to the reader. Unless the direction means, don't withhold key info at the end of the novel. Even then less is more. Always leave the reader wanting more.
 

MaeZe

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"Don't withhold information from the reader."....
Perhaps it should say don't overdo it. As you said, you've read books where it bothered you. I certainly have. It's especially annoying when a character is about to reveal something and something interrupts the reveal in a way that's not credible.

For example, say the reveal is naming a person. Then the interruption is something that really wouldn't stop anyone from saying a name.

It's also annoying when it goes on and on.

But of course, withholding information from the reader is an invaluable writing tool.
 

Brightdreamer

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I think you answered your own question: withhold just enough to intrigue the reader, don't withhold so much that they're confused or angry or have no reason to keep turning pages.

It's sort of the opposite issue of infodumping: do give the reader enough hints so they can connect dots, don't back up a dumptruck of dots and lines and slam on the brakes of the plot to drown the reader in them.

Where the lines between too much/just right/not enough lies in either instance will vary with the story you're trying to tell. It's possible to write a compelling murder mystery knowing whodunit (see "Columbo"), if the reader is invested in finding out whydunit, or how they get caught, or they find the character interesting enough to follow them as they navigate the post-murder complications. The key is figuring out what information you can withhold, and for how long... and not getting too author-cocky and playing keep-away with vital info like a bully snatching the cap off some little kid reader's head and dangling it out of reach. "Oooh, you wanna know why Hero Bill is deathly afraid of Susie's guacamole dip? You wanna know? Jump for it! Ha - too slow! Jump!"

What you can't control, of course, is that the lines will also vary with the reader. Some readers are more adept at spotting and connecting dots and enjoy doing so, some would rather things be spelled out so they don't have to think so much and can go along for the ride, and some just won't like your genre or your pen name or your choice of font and wouldn't enjoy your book if it came with a dancing unicorn to turn the pages for them. Don't worry about those people.
 

Enlightened

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It's unfair to make comments on this post without knowing the context the statements were made.

Authors only share tidbits of info at a time, till the story is complete. Impossible not to do it another way.
 

kneedeepinthedoomed

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I have gotten the exact same feedback on my game script. And I was similarly puzzled. Of course you have to withhold information from the reader, otherwise what's the point? You can't fire off all your ammo by the end of chapter 3...

I came to two conclusions about this particular feedback:

1. As others said already, maybe what the person giving the feedback actually means is that you should drop a couple more hints early on. Perhaps one of your characters is too much of a black box. That was another thing that came with the feedback I got. That made me think of Aragorn in Lord of the Rings, who is very much a black box when the hobbits encounter him, calling himself Strider and not letting on much else. But there are hints dropped about him - Gandalf himself mentions a bit of poetry about the broken sword and so forth, and sure enough, Strider has a broken sword. Enough hints are dropped along with introducing Strider to make the reader think there's more to him than meets the eye. Maybe you just need to judiciously spoonfeed the reader a bit more info in the first act of the novel. Don't dump it all, but drop enough breadcrumbs regularly enough to keep the reader interested until the major reveals happen.

2. Not all feedback is good feedback. Some of it has to be interpreted to be useful, and some is just plain wrong. It is good to accept feedback, but if you take a good long hard look at your work and the criticism still doesn't make sense, put it on a shelf and don't worry too much about it. There is such a thing as listening too much to what other people say.
 

blackcat777

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It's unfair to make comments on this post without knowing the context the statements were made.

I was late night blog binging and can't for the life of me find where I saw it now. :\ In both instances, it seemed like (to me) that authors are doing readers a disservice by not dishing everything all at once, and they are bound to lose readers if they are too cryptic - unless the book is a mystery.

And I obviously posted because it made me insecure about whether or not I am too cryptic, think I'm clever, but in reality sound like a pretentious dirtbag ;) But it also gobsmacked me, because all of my favorite stories are about following that trail of breadcrumbs to the big sidewinder of plot twists. I think as long as there are breadcrumbs, it's good. If there are no breadcrumbs, you might end up with a deus ex.

I've read as a rule of thumb, flashbacks should be incorporated in the first 1/3 of the novel (give or take). But I just finished another book that rolled with alternate present and past chapters up until the end, and that book was slam my hands on the table awesome.

Maybe it was coincidence I encountered a weird bit of advice twice in a short span of time. It's still enough to make me hold up a mirror and check for green things between my teeth. ;)
 

lizmonster

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I was late night blog binging and can't for the life of me find where I saw it now. :\ In both instances, it seemed like (to me) that authors are doing readers a disservice by not dishing everything all at once, and they are bound to lose readers if they are too cryptic - unless the book is a mystery.

See, I think all books are mysteries, even if the only mystery is how the MC is going to handle the slice-of-life drama handed to them by the story.

Having said that...in an early draft of half of my first book, I kept the age of one character (which was relevant, somewhat, to the story dynamics) a secret until the end. That secret didn't survive revisions, and in retrospect, I'm glad. It was an authorial conceit intended to dramatize a particular aspect of that character, when that character wasn't a big part of the story; IOW, it was pointless and a waste of words.

I think maybe the point is not to withhold information the characters would know? I don't know.
 

LJD

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I think maybe the point is not to withhold information the characters would know? I don't know.

IMHO, the issue is mainly in withholding information that the POV character already knows. You have to do that carefully, or it can seem heavy-handed and forced.
 

lilyWhite

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This sort of thing came up in my current WIP, where one of the main character's friends suffers emotional trauma regarding an event in her past. However, it wasn't something that I could just summarize immediately when it came up. It'd be too much of an info-dump, and also the main character (the story being third-person-limited POV) wouldn't reflect on her friend's trauma to herself when she already knows about it. So rather than go for an info-dump approach and reveal it all at once, the main character witnesses her friend's trauma being triggered, and a few chapters later has a conversation with someone who went through a similar experience—and the major difference between the MC's friend and the other person is alluded to.

That trauma is part of a sub-plot throughout the book, and if the reader was left in the dark for most of the story, I imagine they'd be confused and turned-off. On the other hand, just explaining it up-front would ruin the flow of the story. Heck, the entire story includes drip-feeding the reader about the backstory, giving them tidbits here and there instead of just expositing it all at once.

So I think "don't withhold information" as an absolute statement isn't good advice. Rather, a reader should know enough to care about learning more about what the story isn't immediately revealing.
 

bombergirl69

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Hmmm, I agree with out more context, this is a hard one to address, but I sure disagree it's any kind of absolute rule. I have a first person narrator with plenty of secrets that do not get revealed to the reader right away. Agatha Christie's terrific Murder of Roger Ackroyd is a fantastic example of with holding some really, really critical information which makes the mystery! I totally agree that all books are mysteries in a way and if everything were revealed right away...wouldn't be much to read about. But again, not sure of the context!!!! :) /really like what LilyWhite said about knowing enough to care about learning more!
 

blackcat777

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Ooh, you're all making me think!

Having said that...in an early draft of half of my first book, I kept the age of one character (which was relevant, somewhat, to the story dynamics) a secret until the end. That secret didn't survive revisions, and in retrospect, I'm glad. It was an authorial conceit intended to dramatize a particular aspect of that character, when that character wasn't a big part of the story; IOW, it was pointless and a waste of words.

Can you elaborate? What had you hoped to accomplish initially by withholding the information? How did it change the story when you decided to reveal it?

the issue is mainly in withholding information that the POV character already knows. You have to do that carefully, or it can seem heavy-handed and forced.

Could you also please elaborate?

I'm thinking of instances in which information was withheld in books that I both liked and didn't like, and trying to pinpoint the why of when it works and when it doesn't.

In one instance that I liked, it turned out at the end that the POV character was being manipulated magically. The POV character had no idea. The reveal changed the entire context of the book (so you could read it a second time through the lens of the manipulation).

In an instance I didn't like, all the characters think about "that time something happened." They all brood over it, but it annoyed me, because I had no idea what the chapters and chapters of brooding were about. This may have worked differently if there were clues. All the characters knew, and I was the only one left out of their secret.

What do you think about something like suggesting a character's past trauma through present avoidance, but withholding the infodump/flashback of, "Bob doesn't like dogs because one time he was attacked"? MUST Bob dwell on the past to inform the reader? Or can you create sufficient intrigue without authorial conceit by making him a little skittish when his girlfriend asks for a ride to Petco?
 
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LJD

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IMHO, the issue is mainly in withholding information that the POV character already knows. You have to do that carefully, or it can seem heavy-handed and forced.

Could you also please elaborate?

I'm thinking of instances in which information was withheld in books that I both liked and didn't like, and trying to pinpoint the why of when it works and when it doesn't.

In one instance that I liked, it turned out at the end that the POV character was being manipulated magically. The POV character had no idea. The reveal changed the entire context of the book (so you could read it a second time through the lens of the manipulation).

Well, like I said, I think the issues are more often in cases where the POV character knows something important that the reader didn't know. In this case, the POV character had no idea, so how could they relay what was happening to the reader? So it makes sense.

In an instance I didn't like, all the characters think about "that time something happened." They all brood over it, but it annoyed me, because I had no idea what the chapters and chapters of brooding were about. This may have worked differently if there were clues. All the characters knew, and I was the only one left out of their secret.

I don't mind if this goes on for a little while--it can create suspense. But if it goes on for too long, it just becomes annoying, and I feel like the author is manipulating me.

What do you think about something like suggesting a character's past trauma through present avoidance, but withholding the infodump/flashback of, "Bob doesn't like dogs because one time he was attacked"? MUST Bob dwell on the past to inform the reader? Or can you create sufficient intrigue without authorial conceit by making him a little skittish when his girlfriend asks for a ride to Petco?

If it's a somewhat important part of the story and comes up a bunch of times...I would usually expect some brief explanation at some point, UNLESS the POV character is unable to recall the incident or unable to think about it without feeling traumatized, in which case they avoid thinking about it. Then it would make sense that we don't directly hear about it when in their POV.
 

lizmonster

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Can you elaborate? What had you hoped to accomplish initially by withholding the information? How did it change the story when you decided to reveal it?

What changed was the ageless character became a POV character and a much bigger part of the story. (My first book started out as two books, and he was an MC in the second, so when the plots intertwined everybody got much cozier.)

In the original first book, he's off-screen, and my MC's relationship with him is drawn through overheard conversations. The other MC, who's in a relationship with her, is a lot older than she is, and when he discovers that Ageless is much closer to her age, he reinterprets everything he's assumed about the two of them.

Which wasn't germaine to the plot at all, although it provided a bit of a jumping-off point for the next book, and in any case it all worked better when I mashed the two plots together.
 

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Point-of-view is enormously important here. The best way to withhold information from the reader is for the narrator not to know the information until it is revealed.

But playing "I've got a secret, and ain't gonna tell you" kinds of narration I, as a reader, detest.

caw
 

Enlightened

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Brandon Sanderson talks about promises and delivery of the promises (at a later time). He notes authors know the bits of an iceberg above the water (small amount) and below the water (a huge amount). The readers only know the bit above the water, and authors only dole out what is needed of the underwater portion as the story unfolds. As lilywhite said, substantial infodumping isn't a good thing.

If we, as authors, don't make good on our promises, we make upset readers. As long as we do not do this, keeping information secret (till it is time to unearth it) is necessary; i.e. readers want to guess.
 

The Black Prince

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Very similar to the way I describe it...

The opening to a story is all about setting up a pleasurable expectation in the mind of the reader so they are thinking: Oh, I know where this is going...this is going to be good.

The trick is though to give the reader far more than they thought they were going to get as the scope of the story grows in the telling.

It's not for me to say whether I've ever been successful going for that, but that's what I aim for.
 

frimble3

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"Bob doesn't like dogs because one time he was attacked"? MUST Bob dwell on the past to inform the reader? Or can you create sufficient intrigue without authorial conceit by making him a little skittish when his girlfriend asks for a ride to Petco?
Probably doesn't have to dwell, but why not suggest his skittishness? Assuming that dogs will reappear in the story?
"Is that the place where they let dogs just run around loose?" or similar, perhaps? Suggests he might have an issue, without giving the whole play-by-play of his trauma?
 

The Urban Spaceman

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What is the intention behind this advice? What are ways in which authors can withhold information to their own detriment? What flavor of pitfall is this advice supposed to protect against?

I've heard this advice a few times too. Like others have said, it depends very much on POV and context.

For example, if you're writing a crime/mystery novel in 1st person (or close third) POV, from the POV of the detective/sleuth-character trying to figure out whodunnit, then it's absolutely necessary that you withhold information. The reader can only know what the narrator knows. Part of the enjoyment a crime/mystery reader will get is from solving the mystery along with the MC. It will make it a more interactive and engaging experience.

If you're writing something from an omniscient point of view, however, the narrator is all-knowing, and to withhold important, plot-relevant information from the reader is the equivalent of one kid standing in the playground shouting "hahahaha I know something you don't know" at the other kids around them.

In the example of the latter, it would be better to allude and tease but to let the revelations unfold naturally throughout the story* than to just save it to the end and finish with, "It was all in the imagination of the mental patient in the padded room" or whatever.

Having A Character With A Secret is fine, and I think it's good to tease the reader a little, but if you're in that character's head-space, you can't keep The Secret too long. At some point, if it's being mentioned or thought about, it needs to be addressed, and before your audience gets fed up of the teasing and it feels more like mockery.




*with the caveat that a snap revelation at the end of the story can actually work well in flash fiction or short fiction but probably should be avoided in novels.
 

GeekTells

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LJD and blacbird nailed it, and if I can, I'll take it a wee further. Or farther. I struggle to use those correctly.

Anyhooo...where the OP's tip may be confusing gets right to the heart of who you are written for. If you're thinking about the reader—or writing for the reader— you're focusing on the wrong thing (YMMV). Write the story for your characters. If you withhold things just to mystify your reader, your story is likely to feel contrived.

Few things are more annoying than when the POV character(s) knows something, but artificially doesn't reveal it so that I, as the reader, will be surprised. This is especially true if up until now we've seen everything in her head. If, on the other hand, your POV character doesn't know something, that can be exciting. The reader and the POV character get to discover it together, and everyone is the happier for it.

Every rule can be broken, of course, but one had better have a good reason for breaking this one.
 

neandermagnon

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LJD and blacbird nailed it, and if I can, I'll take it a wee further. Or farther. I struggle to use those correctly.

Anyhooo...where the OP's tip may be confusing gets right to the heart of who you are written for. If you're thinking about the reader—or writing for the reader— you're focusing on the wrong thing (YMMV). Write the story for your characters. If you withhold things just to mystify your reader, your story is likely to feel contrived.

Few things are more annoying than when the POV character(s) knows something, but artificially doesn't reveal it so that I, as the reader, will be surprised. This is especially true if up until now we've seen everything in her head. If, on the other hand, your POV character doesn't know something, that can be exciting. The reader and the POV character get to discover it together, and everyone is the happier for it.

Every rule can be broken, of course, but one had better have a good reason for breaking this one.

^^^ this is what the advice is getting at and I agree very much with the above.

Also, withholding too much information can confuse the reader. This is especially true of openings. Some writers tend to think if they reveal too much it will ruin the intrigue, but revealing too little doesn't give you enough context to start to be intrigued in the first place. It leads to vague openings that don't engage anyone, and this can be combined with a false sense of intrigue which makes it doubly off-putting. Vagueness in openings comes from writers forgetting that the reader knows nothing when they start reading, and thinking that anyone who reads it is going to imagine it the way they do, so they forget to include some important details. If they're also thinking "I don't want to say too much at this point or it will ruin the intrigue" that's going to make the vagueness much worse.

Overall, I'd say even for mysteries, the balance of advice swings much further towards "don't withhold information" than "withhold information". If you're writing from a character's point of view, you can only include things which the character knows, sees or experiences anyway, because anything else breaks POV. Important mystery/plot questions like "who is the murderer?" is in the huge pile of things that your MC doesn't know and can't be included without breaking POV. The intrigue is already there, so there's no point trying to artificially increase it by withholding important details that the character does know/see/experience.

Omniscent narrators can get away with a little bit more with regards to withholding information, but even that should be done sparingly and where the plot justifies it. Example: one scene ends with "I have a plan, listen..." and the next scene is the plan being carried out. The reader has been deliberately left out of the conversation where they discuss the plan so that it's more exciting for the reader when the plan's carried out. When writing in omniscient, it's a given that the omniscient narrator is only going to tell the reader about things that are relevant to the plot. There's still a ton of things the omniscient narrator is not going to tell you because it's irrelevant or boring. The above example about not including the reader on the conversation while they make their plan can quite justifiably sit in the "too boring to include" category. But failing to mention anything that you later rely on in court in the plot will make the reader feel cheated.
 

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This was roughly the opinion Alfred Hitchcock expressed in an interview about doing suspense. Great suspense is about showing the audience more, not less, because then they'll form assumptions about what happens next, which the author can twist and play with. Reader expectations are playgrounds for authors. But you have to give readers something to build expectations on. This doesn't mean blowing your wad in chap 1, it's a slow drip.

Showing more can also create dramatic irony, where the reader knows more than the POV character. This also feeds reader expectations in certain ways.