Quit striving for perfection

I'm sorry if this is in the wrong spot, please move if I'm not in the right place.

It's no secret, I've definitely struggled completing my first novel. It's not for lack of idea's but lack of confidence in my writing and getting stuck in the revision loop and self critique mode. I've read so many wonderful books and I dream of the day I can ever write so eloquently. But then somewhere I get stuck on would and editor or agent like this and then I lose sight of "whom" I should be writing for. I'm so concerned with proper grammar and doing things "right" that I'm striving for the un-achievable, and yes I know that isn't a word un-achievable but it fits so I'm using it. I'm striving for perfection and there's no such thing. I have to be honest, when I read a well published author and I find a set of " missing or spelling mistakes or even the wrong name used for one of the characters it makes me smile. I LOVE seeing errors because it makes me realize that if Nora Roberts with a slew of people working for her can have mistakes then it's ok.

So I love reading writing blogs, the ones that give me hope and inspiration, not the ones that dictate rules and what I "should" be doing, but ones that remind me of why I'm torturing myself trying to get my novel written. Why am I trying to write a novel? What is my goal? The reason why is simple, for as long as I can remember I've loved writing, there's freedom in knowing that anything is possible on paper. Maybe that's why I love those authors who have a way of sprinkling in a little magic into their work, to hell with realism. I loved the novel Safe Haven by Nicholas Sparks because of Joe. It was a delightful twist in the novel and kudos to him for doing it. I want to be brave like that.

Here's a tidbit for a wonderful blog I came across and her words have really helped me.

"When you strive for perfection in your writing, you’re dooming yourself to perpetual failure. When you strive to be the best you can be, you will have a fulfilling life.

Writers who are always improving, always learning, move forward. They are secure in the knowledge that the book they wrote ten years ago is the best book it could have been given their level of craft and their understanding of the art of writing at the time they finished the book. They’re better now, so they write new things, explore new pathways.

They grow.

They also realize that they have a career, not a novel. The people who tell you to endlessly revise, the people who tell you not to try something new until you’ve mastered the old, the people who believe that you should make every word perfect before you move onto a new project, those people don’t have writing careers. They might have things that seem like writing careers, like a few published stories, one or two novels.

But they don’t make their living from their craft (in other words, publishing their writing). They also approach storytelling from the point of view of perfection, not the point of view of enjoyment.

If a flawed novel entertains, it has done its job."

These words have helped me enormously. I can learn and as long as I do MY best that is enough. I can do this, I can finish and publish a novel that is MY personal best even if it is flawed and maybe will have crappy reviews and have errors in it, but as long as I do my best, it's enough.

In other words I should take my own advice to my kids. I've repeatedly told all of my children that I don't care if they get a C- and not an A+ as long as they did their best. And that the person who does their very best and earns a C- that C- is more worthy than the A+ earned without trying. It's the effort that matters. Never giving up and being open to learning and struggling and having the guts to put out the very best even if your very best is someone else's worst.

Well I hope this all makes sense, I just needed to get it off my chest because I've been struggling and lack of self confidence was getting me down.
Thank you to those who took the time to read

Here's the link to the article I quoted.
https://kriswrites.com/2012/06/27/the-business-rusch-perfection/

blackcat777 said:

Thank you for sharing! I also would have asked for those inspirational links, if you hadn't already posted one.

Jan, if I may ask, do you write with any expectations of an income in mind? You mentioned career writing.

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You're welcome I don't have expectations of income, my career is nursing, but of course if I publish I hope to make some money but I wouldn't say I would expect it or would be dependent on it. I have read some great writing blogs on pricing etc, so I know for sure I won't offer my work for free and I won't price it at .99cents, I will go mid-range if I have zero sales so be it.

Thank you everyone for your responses, so very appreciated!!!!!!!

It's like riding a horse, just because you get tossed off it doesn't mean you stay flat on the ground....you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back on

ThomasH said:

This really hits the nail on the head for me. Thank-you for posting this.
As I write, I sometimes feel practically paralyzed to write another word - all because I get hit with this wave of anxiety that what I'm writing is somehow "wrong".
I find myself questioning every word choice and plot development and think to myself about all the great authors' work I've read and how their word choices seemed so "correct".

My personal path to overcoming that kind of self doubt is to keep typing. While I strive to make a career of writing, those first drafts - the core story - isn't for anybody else at that stage of development.
It's my own tale where anything is possible and most importantly, I don't feel anything can be wrong - it's my personal story after all.

Revision is where I apply the more calculated and logical modifications.
The first draft is technically my most pure version of the story in the sense that its written to tell the story I want to tell - not bogged down with technicalities.

At least, that's how I try and look at it!

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You're welcome The self doubt is a killer! I question myself also.

The Otter said:

There's also the fact that "perfection" is subjective. I mean, yeah, there are certain things like spelling and grammar mistakes or typos that writers should be vigilant about weeding out, but beyond that, a whole lot of it is in the eye of the reader. Even seemingly objective stuff like what constitutes a plot hole or a cliche is often very much up for debate. A novel that seems like a masterpiece to one person might seem like a big sloppy mess to another, which is why readers have endless arguments about whether or not a certain book is good or bad.

Rather than committing yourself to the idea of perfection or being the best, I think writers should commit themselves to telling the story that they want to tell, in the way they want to tell it. Though that is often just as difficult.

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I would agree with all of that.

For instance, I've seen a few new novels on amazon with the story beginning with the mc waking up....and the sky did not come crashing down on them Or....the story starts off with a dream. I love that these authors have obviously chosen to toss the, don't start the story with xyz, advice. Or maybe they never knew about that "rule". I say lucky them.