• Basic Writing questions is not a crit forum. All crits belong in Share Your Work

onomatopoeia in the text or not? What’s your opinion?

Status
Not open for further replies.

Phoenix_Writer

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 17, 2018
Messages
114
Reaction score
4
Location
Germany
Hello Writing-Community,

I don’t know how do you find it. But in my opinion, onomatopoeia—So, write the sounds in the text—is a good way to describe a scene.
Why should I write He crashed against the wall when I can write Whoom! His face hit against the wall, or so.
But what’s your opinion on this topic? Do you use it?

Bye,
Phoenix_Writer
 

Bufty

Where have the last ten years gone?
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 9, 2005
Messages
16,768
Reaction score
4,663
Location
Scotland
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

I don't find anything wrong with the type of example you show. I think it's a matter of personal preference and what one thinks works in the eyes of the intended reader.

It always reminds me of those little cloud bubbles that appeared in comics above the superhero when he was knocking seven bells out of whoever.

I should remember, but I honestly can't remember if I used an onomatopoeic expression or not.

ETA- Just checked, and yes, I have - A sharp click! echoed round the hall.
 
Last edited:

Curlz

cutsie-pie
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jan 5, 2016
Messages
2,213
Reaction score
382
Location
here
It's a very good way to describe a scene. Especially in children's books :Thumbs:. On the other hand, "Dracula greedily sank his teeth into his new victim's neck. Nom, nom, nom!" might be a bit off if you 're trying to scare an adult reader.
 

BethS

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Dec 21, 2005
Messages
11,708
Reaction score
1,763
Why should I write He crashed against the wall when I can write Whoom! His face hit against the wall, or so.
But what’s your opinion on this topic? Do you use it?

It's a style choice. I have used it, but rarely. Frequent use would probably work best in children's books. There's something rather comic-bookish about it.
 

indianroads

Wherever I go, there I am.
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Mar 4, 2017
Messages
2,372
Reaction score
230
Location
Colorado
Website
indianroads.net
I don't think the use of an onomatopoeia needs to be as obvious as your example... but as was said, it's a matter of style.

The crackle of distant gunfire echoed through the empty streets.

I heard the bang bang bang of gun shots from someplace far away.
 
Last edited:

Enlightened

Always Learning
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jan 5, 2018
Messages
4,863
Reaction score
167
Location
Colorado
Reminds me of the old, 1970s TV show called Batman. Comic book bubbles would appear when violence occurred. When a punch landed, they'd only show the "Bam!" or "Pow!" on the screen.

I think these are great for breaking up the monotony, but use it sparingly in YA or adult.
 

blackcat777

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Nov 6, 2017
Messages
415
Reaction score
78
The right word could be a fresh sprig of rosemary on a bloody gore steak.

Squish.
 

Bacchus

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 23, 2016
Messages
614
Reaction score
150
Out of interest, I have tried hitting my head against the wall, and not once has it whoomed.

It's bonked a couple of times, then banged, and thudded but no whoom. Perhaps I'm doing it wrong.

It is throbbing now, if that helps...


Not true (honest...) but just wanted to use a few onomatopoeic dictionary words rather than "purely" onomatopoeic. I think I would find these less intrusive as a reader, but I wouldn't hesitate to make up my own if I felt the need.
 

JoB42

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 17, 2017
Messages
360
Reaction score
123
Location
United States
When I was back there in elementary school, the teacher asked us students to write about our morning. Just describing what happened. I don't remember everything I wrote in that assignment, but I do remember writing in the "plop plop plop" of the cereal pieces hitting the bowl.

The teacher loved it. I felt good, really happy. The switch flipped in my brain.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.