Another karmic comeuppance story

Roxxsmom · Feb 18, 2018

No one was eaten this time, but it's an amusing comeuppance for a package thief.

https://patch.com/california/watsonville/california-mail-thief-victim-leaves-package-500-cockroaches

A California entomologist had a package of 500 live cockroaches stolen from her porch. One can only hope the insects went everywhere when the package was opened and subsequently weathered any attempts at stomping to make a permanent and cozy home behind the offender's molding.

mccardey · Feb 18, 2018

That is a Very Fine Story. Five stars because I don't think any of the cockroaches got smooshed. They just had a little relocation, and I think they'll be very happy.

Dennis E. Taylor · Feb 18, 2018

One can also hope that the miscreant was strongly entomophobic. Bet the dancing would be epic.

MaeZe · Feb 18, 2018

Lauram6123 · Feb 18, 2018

frimble3 · Feb 18, 2018

Always read the label if you plan to steal packages. If the sender has a name like 'Bugs 'R' Us', 'Custom Creepy-Crawlers' or, 'Wide World of Snakes', just put it down gently and FLEE!

SWest · Feb 18, 2018

frimble3 said:
...put it down gently and FLEA!

FIFY

clintl · Feb 18, 2018

frimble3 said:
Always read the label if you plan to steal packages. If the sender has a name like 'Bugs 'R' Us', 'Custom Creepy-Crawlers' or, 'Wide World of Snakes', just put it down gently and FLEE!

Not necessarily a foolproof method, however.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00T78OJEE/?tag=absowrit-20

frimble3 · Feb 18, 2018

Thankfully, they don't ship to Canada! Customs and Border Security comes to our rescue again!

JoB42 · Feb 18, 2018

This is funny.

A part of me keeps imagining this in a story, though, and I keep thinking of an unlucky main character who decides to do this, but the character lives in an apartment complex, and it turns out it's the character's neighbor who's been stealing the packages, and suddenly a couple few scenes later the whole apartment complex is infested with roaches.

Teinz · Feb 19, 2018

frimble3 said:
Always read the label if you plan to steal packages. If the sender has a name like 'Bugs 'R' Us', 'Custom Creepy-Crawlers' or, 'Wide World of Snakes', just put it down gently and FLEE!

Naah, I love snakes!! Well, the non-poisonous kind anyway.

And btw

FLEA!!

JJ Litke · Feb 19, 2018

frimble3 said:
Always read the label if you plan to steal packages. If the sender has a name like 'Bugs 'R' Us', 'Custom Creepy-Crawlers' or, 'Wide World of Snakes', just put it down gently and FLEE!

I always use Wide World of Snakes for all my snake-buying needs.

Cobalt Jade · Feb 19, 2018

A friend of my ex-husband's was a food service manager who did catering on the side. He was Mexican, and his specialty was burritos and big pots of beans. One day he went downtown in his car to make a delivery. He went outside to meet first with the client and then went back to his car to get the food. He found the car's back window smashed and the pot of beans he had left in the back seat overturned. A short while later the police caught the burglar, who hadn't gotten very far. The thief had smashed the window and put his hand directly into the pot of hot beans, and had been badly burned and was in excruciating pain.

RedRajah · Feb 19, 2018

JJ Litke said:
I always use Wide World of Snakes for all my snake-buying needs.

Even plumbing snakes?

JJ Litke · Feb 19, 2018

RedRajah said:
Even plumbing snakes?

Sure, snakes have the right to become plumbers just like anyone else.

Brightdreamer · Feb 19, 2018

JJ Litke said:
Sure, snakes have the right to become plumbers just like anyone else.

It's nice to see this changing. Historically, snakes have been pressured into the medical field or apple farms, while the rest get stuck with law degrees and political careers.

About the original article, that's a horror movie concept waiting to be filmed: the thieves snatch a package from a scientist's porch, unleash the cockroaches, and one by one they're all taken down by what turns out to be a new strain of mutant, carnivorous insects...

Roxxsmom · Feb 19, 2018

JJ Litke said:
I always use Wide World of Snakes for all my snake-buying needs.

It's not necessarily a joke. I actually do buy frozen mice (for my pet snake) from a place called "rodentpro," and the box they are delivered in does have that logo on it. I don't think they do live deliveries, though.

Cobalt Jade said:
A friend of my ex-husband's was a food service manager who did catering on the side. He was Mexican, and his specialty was burritos and big pots of beans. One day he went downtown in his car to make a delivery. He went outside to meet first with the client and then went back to his car to get the food. He found the car's back window smashed and the pot of beans he had left in the back seat overturned. A short while later the police caught the burglar, who hadn't gotten very far. The thief had smashed the window and put his hand directly into the pot of hot beans, and had been badly burned and was in excruciating pain.

I wish something like that had happened to whoever stole the pizza from my car when I was a delivery driver.

In case anyone is thinking I am being hard on someone who might have been genuinely hungry, I was working in an extremely well-off college town and had parked my car on a fraternity row to deliver one pizza while the other waited in my car. I hadn't locked my driver's-side door, because the outside latch was messed up and I had to lock and unlock from the other side (which meant standing in traffic and leaning into my car). I was only going to be gone a minute...

JJ Litke · Feb 19, 2018

Roxxsmom said:
It's not necessarily a joke. I actually do buy frozen mice (for my pet snake) from a place called "rodentpro," and the box they are delivered in does have that logo on it. I don't think they do live deliveries, though.

Ha, we used to buy frozen mice from a specialty pet store that focused on amphibians and reptiles. It was a bonus to go there because looking around was like being in a tiny zoo (well, the part of the zoo that has the amphibians and reptile exhibits).

frimble3 · Feb 19, 2018

Cobalt Jade said:
The thief had smashed the window and put his hand directly into the pot of hot beans, and had been badly burned and was in excruciating pain.

There's a man who might steal roaches, but not something clearly marked 'bees'. Or 'wasps'.
And, as I am typing this, it occurs to me that if the package said 'roaches', the original thief might have thought he was grabbing 'Marijuana, ready to smoke'.

waylander · Feb 19, 2018

frimble3 said:
There's a man who might steal roaches, but not something clearly marked 'bees'. Or 'wasps'.
And, as I am typing this, it occurs to me that if the package said 'roaches', the original thief might have thought he was grabbing 'Marijuana, ready to smoke'.

You may be crediting the thief with too many smarts, maybe he couldn't read.

frimble3 · Feb 19, 2018

Then he should stick to stealing things in clear plastic packages.

Roxxsmom · Feb 20, 2018

I was just talking to one of my colleagues about this story, and as it turns out the entomologist in question is one of his former students.

Another karmic comeuppance story

Roxxsmom

Beastly Fido

mccardey

Dennis E. Taylor

Get it off! It burns!

MaeZe

Lauram6123

frimble3

Heckuva good sport

SWest

In the garden...

clintl

Represent.

frimble3

Heckuva good sport

JoB42

Teinz

Back at it again.

JJ Litke

People are not wearing enough hats

Cobalt Jade

RedRajah

Special Snowflake? No. Hailstone

JJ Litke

People are not wearing enough hats

Brightdreamer

Just Another Lazy Perfectionist

Roxxsmom

Beastly Fido

JJ Litke

People are not wearing enough hats

frimble3

Heckuva good sport

waylander

Who's going for a beer?

frimble3

Heckuva good sport

Roxxsmom

Beastly Fido