Stupid questions regarding query letters

Mrs.Smith · Feb 16, 2018

I'm not sure if this is the right place for this, so I understand if y'all need to move it.

I haven't written a query letter since the days when you printed it out and sent it via snail mail and I have some questions that are probably a little silly.

The agents/agencies I'm planning to query all request a standard query letter (single page), along with first pages - anywhere from five pages to the first three chapters. Three chapters makes it pretty clear, but the first five pages is stumping me. Does that mean the first five single-spaced, or double-spaced?

In the body of the email, do you double-space the manuscript text, or leave it single-spaced like a normal email? Center the chapter headers or just left-aligned? Any other formatting things to consider or is Outlook's standard formatting acceptable?

I own a small magazine and I plan to use that email address. Is it acceptable to leave my signature in place, or should I just use my private gmail address to send it? The magazine doesn't really help my platform since it's non-fiction and my manuscript is fiction - other than to show that I write professionally. If this is okay, should the pages go below my signature or above it?

One of the agents is a college football fan and our mutual favorite team suffered a devastating loss in the championships a few weeks ago. The whole state is in mourning. It seems wrong not to at least mention it - she states clearly that she follows the team so there's no way she missed that game. Or would that seem too much like I'm playing the hometown card?

Am I overthinking this? I'm planning to use Jane Friedman's query letter service (https://www.janefriedman.com/query-letter-synopsis-critiques/) and I'm sure she'll answer a lot of these questions, but I also don't want to look like a complete rube to her.

Thanks!

Aggy B. · Feb 16, 2018

First, please don't take legal advice from someone who isn't an actual lawyer. (I'm sure Ms. Friedman means well, but that's... not a good idea.)

"Pages" always means manuscript formatted pages. (So, double-spaced and about 1k words.) Simply pasting it into the email under the letter/signature is fine. Formatting across email platforms is not consistent so I wouldn't worry too much about how it looks. If it really bothers you, you can save that first five separately and reformat with single spaces and a full line break in between paragraphs for easy copy/pasting. But it's probably not necessary.

If it were me, I wouldn't put a business signature on a query unless it had some bearing on the manuscript. But that's me, others may feel differently.

As far as the football team... egh. Customizing a query can be a good thing, but you really want the query to be about the book, nothing else. (So, it's okay to say something like "I saw your blog post about wanting to see more cheese related manuscripts and I think you'll find my novel, "The Great Cheese Mystery", fits that need." But unless the book is about football or your hometown, I think I would just leave that bit out.)

Best of luck.

BenPanced · Feb 16, 2018

Addendum:

On a request for five pages, make sure it ends at a logical place, either the end of a sentence or a paragraph. Don't worry if you're cutting off the scene and leave the reader hanging; it's worse if you cut off the end of a

Old Hack · Feb 17, 2018

Mrs.Smith said:
The agents/agencies I'm planning to query all request a standard query letter (single page), along with first pages - anywhere from five pages to the first three chapters. Three chapters makes it pretty clear, but the first five pages is stumping me. Does that mean the first five single-spaced, or double-spaced?

It means the first five pages as they appear in your ms--so the first five pages when the text is double-spaced.

In the body of the email, do you double-space the manuscript text, or leave it single-spaced like a normal email? Center the chapter headers or just left-aligned? Any other formatting things to consider or is Outlook's standard formatting acceptable?

I wouldn't double-space it. I'd paste it into the body of the email and add an extra line of white space between the paras.

I own a small magazine and I plan to use that email address. Is it acceptable to leave my signature in place, or should I just use my private gmail address to send it? The magazine doesn't really help my platform since it's non-fiction and my manuscript is fiction - other than to show that I write professionally. If this is okay, should the pages go below my signature or above it?

The magazine has nothing to do with your subscription. I'd probably remove your signature, but I don't think it matters that much.

One of the agents is a college football fan and our mutual favorite team suffered a devastating loss in the championships a few weeks ago. The whole state is in mourning. It seems wrong not to at least mention it - she states clearly that she follows the team so there's no way she missed that game. Or would that seem too much like I'm playing the hometown card?

That football team has nothing to do with your submission. I'd ignore it.

Am I overthinking this? I'm planning to use Jane Friedman's query letter service (https://www.janefriedman.com/query-letter-synopsis-critiques/) and I'm sure she'll answer a lot of these questions, but I also don't want to look like a complete rube to her.

I wouldn't use that service. Ms Friedman makes it clear that she often rewrites the queries she critiques: that's fine except that you're hoping the agent will take you on, and not Ms Friedman: it's your writing they want to see, not hers.

Mrs.Smith · Feb 18, 2018

Thank you all. That all helps tremendously.

I was under the impression Ms. Friedman was kind of an industry insider - I've been reading articles from her for a couple decades. But hearing two of you suggest I not go that route gives me pause. It isn't that I don't have faith in my own writing ability, I just thought it would be beneficial to have a professional look at it. If the consensus is that this/she might not be a good fit, then I'll figure it out on my own. If I can publish a whole magazine every month, I can write a simple letter. And that's $200 I don't have to fork over.

That said, have a short letter and 1000 words to sell myself is a wee bit scary. And noted, don't end in the middle of a

Thank you! Any other advice/suggestions welcomed!

mrsmig · Feb 18, 2018

Mrs.Smith said:
Thank you all. That all helps tremendously.

I was under the impression Ms. Friedman was kind of an industry insider - I've been reading articles from her for a couple decades. But hearing two of you suggest I not go that route gives me pause. It isn't that I don't have faith in my own writing ability, I just thought it would be beneficial to have a professional look at it. If the consensus is that this/she might not be a good fit, then I'll figure it out on my own. If I can publish a whole magazine every month, I can write a simple letter. And that's $200 I don't have to fork over.

That said, have a short letter and 1000 words to sell myself is a wee bit scary. And noted, don't end in the middle of a

Thank you! Any other advice/suggestions welcomed!

A thousand words is way too long for a query letter.

I strongly suggest you head over to Query Letter Hell (password: vista) and start reading. You won't be able to post your own query for crit until you've accrued the requisite 50 posts, but just reading the stickies and other writers' attempts at queries can be extremely enlightening.

2gregory · Feb 18, 2018

If you haven't already, when your query is ready to review, check out QLH in the SYW forum. The feedback you'll get may be very helpful. In fact, if you head over there now and start critiquing queries, you'll learn most everything you need to know about writing queries ...

lizmonster · Feb 18, 2018

Mrs.Smith said:
That said, have a short letter and 1000 words to sell myself is a wee bit scary. And noted, don't end in the middle of a

Thank you! Any other advice/suggestions welcomed!

The only thing I'd add is that agents want to like your work. I know it can seem like some kind of convoluted trap when you try to work out things like formatting, but they're not trying to trick you. Really, for things like number of pages, "close enough" is OK. And they all use email, and they know that spacing is an odd thing. As long as you follow agency guidelines and your submission is readable, you're fine.

Remember: this person is going to be your business partner, emphasis on partner. If you hit someone who's genuinely going to be mad if you send 5-1/2 pages instead of 5, this probably isn't someone you'd have had a productive relationship with anyway.

And good luck.

Aggy B. · Feb 18, 2018

So, soliciting feedback is a good thing. Dealing with someone who seems to be advertising she'll do the writing bit for you... is problematic. (This is why we don't recommend paying someone to edit a manuscript for you - the work you show the agent needs to be your work. It can be informed, but it needs to be applied by you and not someone else.)

Queries are tricky things sometimes. I offer query advice/feedback to folks, but I would never suggest actually rewriting their query for them. Because, if I haven't read the whole manuscript I can't give any sort of guarantee I'm doing it right. (And, quite frankly, crappy query letters can miss the point and then if someone is basing the rewrite off of something that doesn't do well at capturing the thing itself... yeah. It can be a mess.)

I... did not find the Query Letter Hell forum to be much help. But, a lot of folks do find insight there, so it's definitely worth checking out. Queries in general are stressful, but the point you need to demonstrate is that you understand how to tell a story and you can pitch that telling in short form. The variations are just variations based on what works for a particular book. (I have found loglines to be super-helpful, but that's me. It's easier for me to expand from a condensed idea than to keep collapsing something into a query.)

Best of luck.

Siri Kirpal · Feb 18, 2018

mrsmig said:
A thousand words is way too long for a query letter.

Sat Nam! (Literally "Truth Name"--a Sikh greeting)

I think she meant the query plus 5 pages, which is actually a bit more than an additional 1000 words. In any event, you need to have written the whole ms, and agents may ask for anything from just the query to query plus three chapters or 50 pages.

Query Letter Hell has its uses, but it does focus on one query formula, which doesn't work for everyone. Take a look at it, read some of the comments, see if they make sense for your book and your market.

Blessings,

Siri Kirpal

Cyia · Feb 19, 2018

Have you read through the Query Shark archives? If not, google them. Janet Reid's a working (and awesome) agent, and she's no-holds-barred when it comes to critique.

P.K. Torrens · Feb 19, 2018

Cyia said:
Have you read through the Query Shark archives? If not, google them. Janet Reid's a working (and awesome) agent, and she's no-holds-barred when it comes to critique.

*strokes shark wound* Yep.

The Otter · Feb 19, 2018

Aggy B. said:
Queries are tricky things sometimes. I offer query advice/feedback to folks, but I would never suggest actually rewriting their query for them. Because, if I haven't read the whole manuscript I can't give any sort of guarantee I'm doing it right. (And, quite frankly, crappy query letters can miss the point and then if someone is basing the rewrite off of something that doesn't do well at capturing the thing itself... yeah. It can be a mess.)

Yeah, that's the weakness of critting a query on its own, without having read the book. Looking back, I think the biggest problem with some of my earlier query letters was that they did a poor job of capturing the book's essence. And ultimately, the purpose of a query is to sell the book. You can write a brilliant query letter that captures the attention of every agent that reads it, but if it doesn't reflect the novel, then most of those agents will pass because what they got wasn't what they were expecting.

The formula and guidelines and three questions, etc., can be a good thing to start with if you're totally lost and floundering about how to even approach this query thing. But relying too much on those things can hurt you as well. I think that ultimately, writing a good query is more of an intuitive art, like poetry: if you're approaching it from too mechanical a mindset, you'll end up with something that accurately conveys info about the plot and character motivations but feels stilted and dull.

Mrs.Smith · Feb 24, 2018

Aggy B. said:
Queries in general are stressful, but the point you need to demonstrate is that you understand how to tell a story and you can pitch that telling in short form. The variations are just variations based on what works for a particular book. (I have found loglines to be super-helpful, but that's me. It's easier for me to expand from a condensed idea than to keep collapsing something into a query.)

Best of luck.

Thank you. That's what I need to keep in my head - and not overthink it.
And it does make sense to expand rather than collapsing.

There's a big twist at the end of my story. I read an interview with one agent I'm particularly looking at and she said she wants to know the ending, no matter what. But the interview was in 2009. Is it safe to assume she still wants to know the ending? Should I include the climax/twist at the end in the description?

I have finished the manuscript, done my first round of revisions and it's out with beta readers now - I'm researching agents, tinkering with my query letters and working on the next manuscript while I wait for their feedback. I won't send the first query letter until I've made beta reader edits, then let it sit for a few days and read it again at least once more. In short, when I send the first query letter, I'll be prepared to send whatever an agent might ask to see.

I'll look at both the QLH thread and shark queries. Thank you for that!

Lizmonster - excellent points, also worth keeping in mind. Thank you.

One more question. If agents don't have their conference schedule on their websites, is it acceptable to email and ask them if they'll be attending any conferences? The two that I'm looking most closely at both mention that they do attend conferences, but I can't find schedules anywhere.

Old Hack · Feb 24, 2018

Mrs.Smith said:
There's a big twist at the end of my story. I read an interview with one agent I'm particularly looking at and she said she wants to know the ending, no matter what. But the interview was in 2009. Is it safe to assume she still wants to know the ending? Should I include the climax/twist at the end in the description?

You usually only include things in the query that will make agents want to request your full.

Endings are not usually included in queries, in my experience. They're always included in synopses, though. Might this agent have been talking about synopses rather than queries, do you think?

Stupid questions regarding query letters

Mrs.Smith

Aggy B.

Not as sweet as you think

BenPanced

THE BLUEBERRY QUEEN OF HADES (he/him)

Old Hack

Such a nasty woman

Mrs.Smith

mrsmig

Write. Write. Writey Write Write.

2gregory

Golden boy with feet of clay

lizmonster

Possibly A Mermaid Queen

Aggy B.

Not as sweet as you think

Siri Kirpal

Swan in Process

Cyia

Rewriting My Destiny

P.K. Torrens

Saving up for a typewriter

The Otter

Friendly Neighborhood Mustelid

Mrs.Smith

Old Hack

Such a nasty woman