First Office Party Poll of 2018!

KellyAssauer · Feb 9, 2018

Here it is! Finally! The first Office poll of 2018!

OP staff researchers have finally stopped trying to light a paper bag full of doggy doo on Wikipedia's front porch, and after weeks of web searching, social media hounding, and the gathering of often repeated hot phrases from random cell texts… have come up with the the first big burning question of the year that everyone wants answered.
This ain't it, but until then, please tell us your fashion preference!

Which of the following accessories do you feel goes "best" with jackboots?

And perhaps a few words why you feel that way?

KellyAssauer · Feb 9, 2018

Votes are hidden and you can choose more than one answer.
Please allow a college margin of error because we like to doodle in the white space.
Extra points awarded for farcical sarcasm and straight-faced drollness.
All the rumors are false. No meece were accidentally sparkled in the preparation of this poll.

KTC · Feb 9, 2018

A toaster screams, "Fuck off!" when warn with jackboots.

swachski · Feb 9, 2018

Two questions for clarity before I vote:

1. Can I get the chihuhahuha in plaid?

b. If I chose the Silvery fish will he perhaps be lured back?

III. Would it be acceptable to shove the D-cell into the eggplant?

• Would it be acceptable if I did III to Orlando Bloom?

KellyAssauer · Feb 9, 2018

1. Only Stewart
2. See FAQ: How To Link To Images Properly
III. We prefer the term 'insert'
• Molassas

swachski · Feb 9, 2018

Right then.

Therefore the only logical choice is potato!

NathanBrazil · Feb 9, 2018

Damn. How has no one else voted for furry neck spiders?

Loke1997 · Feb 9, 2018

I wanted some rippy electrons clapping in and out of existence, but I suppose your mama'll do. She has such a large mass, the uncertainty in her position is infinite.

Lillian_Blaire · Feb 9, 2018

The most important question is this:

What the hell are Jackboots?

KellyAssauer · Feb 9, 2018

*cough*

Lillian_Blaire · Feb 9, 2018

Ewww.

Well, I stand by my vote anyway.

TedTheewen · Feb 9, 2018

D) Is the Chihuey undead?

42) Would the battery be charged or dead?

Orange) I love jackboots but I have a hard time affording them.

Marissa D · Feb 9, 2018

Definitely a chihuahua in a toaster, so it's all warm and runny and spreads easily with a spatula.

KellyAssauer · Feb 9, 2018

D) a stole
42) *see potato above

Lillian_Blaire · Feb 9, 2018

*wants French Fries*

Marissa D · Feb 9, 2018

swachski said:
Two questions for clarity before I vote:

1. Can I get the chihuhahuha in plaid?

b. If I chose the Silvery fish will he perhaps be lured back?

III. Would it be acceptable to shove the D-cell into the eggplant?

• Would it be acceptable if I did III to Orlando Bloom?

I thought Orlando Bloom took nine-volt batteries...?

Jaymz Connelly · Feb 9, 2018

Marissa D said:
I thought Orlando Bloom took nine-volt batteries...?

6 D-cells.

tiddlywinks · Feb 9, 2018

KellyAssauer said:
No meece were accidentally sparkled in the preparation of this poll.

I'm hoping purposeful sparkling was had instead. And if such sparkling occurred, let it be known I had nothing to do with it because your mama

The toaster did it.. In bedazzled jackboots..

Lillian_Blaire · Feb 10, 2018

I think I'd like jackboots way better if they were bedazzled.

Oh, shiny!

Jaymz Connelly · Feb 10, 2018

tiddlywinks said:
I'm hoping purposeful sparkling was had instead. And if such sparkling occurred, let it be known I had nothing to do with it because your mama

The toaster did it.. In bedazzled jackboots..

You're just axing to be schmoo'd, aren't you? *g*

It's too hot for jackboots, can I wear my thongs (aka flip flops for you 'mercans) instead?

tiddlywinks · Feb 10, 2018

Pfffft. I vehemently deny any predilection toward schmoo'ing. A certain toaster attacks me unfairly whenever her tyrannical need for power becomes too great. It's as if she were a pink decepticon in disguise.

KellyAssauer · Feb 10, 2018

NathanBrazil said:
Damn. How has no one else voted for furry neck spiders?

I lurve me some furry neck spiders. I do. If only they would stay put.
I mean they're there, and then they're not there, and then they are...
Well, you know.

Jaymz Connelly said:
It's too hot for jackboots, can I wear my thongs (aka flip flops for you 'mercans) instead?

Can we at least hobnail them?

Jaymz Connelly · Feb 10, 2018

KellyAssauer said:
Can we at least hobnail them?

I'm good with that. I've always wanted hobnail thongs.

SWest · Feb 10, 2018

Jaymz Connelly said:
...can I wear my thongs (aka flip flops for you 'mercans) instead?

Wearing more than one thong at a time is either pretentious or redundant...unless bedazzling...

*resumes considering quiz paper*

*chews pencil*

*taps fingernails*

*fidgets*

*checks clock*

*counts raindrops...*

Jaymz Connelly · Feb 10, 2018

tiddlywinks said:
Pfffft. I vehemently deny any predilection toward schmoo'ing. A certain toaster attacks me unfairly whenever her tyrannical need for power becomes too great. It's as if she were a pink decepticon in disguise.

Uh huh. *totally doesn't believe you*

SWest said:
Wearing more than one thong at a time is either pretentious or redundant...unless bedazzling...

But, but... I have two feet!

First Office Party Poll of 2018!

Which of the following accessories do you feel goes –best- with jackboots?

Furry neck spiders.

Silvery salt-water fish

Orlando Bloom

A chihuahua

Eggplant

Vintage Alkaline D-cells

Filtched Coffee

High-Rise Syndrome

A toaster

because..

Your Mama

The Anti-Magdalene

The Anti-Magdalene

Stand in the Place Where You Live

checking the 'reset' box

The Anti-Magdalene

checking the 'reset' box

riff-raff

Procrastinator Extraordinaire

The Anti-Magdalene

Procrastinator Extraordinaire

AW's Most Adorable Sociopath

Scribe of the girls in the basement

The Anti-Magdalene

Procrastinator Extraordinaire

Scribe of the girls in the basement

Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree

Chaser of Shineyyyy Plot Bunnies

Procrastinator Extraordinaire

Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree

Chaser of Shineyyyy Plot Bunnies

The Anti-Magdalene

Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree

In the garden...

Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree