Perfectionism and beating it!!

taekonaut · Feb 8, 2018

I'm a perfectionist. It's horrible. I can go from loving to hating an idea just because I can't get it to reach some arbitrary standard!! It takes me a great deal of time to get to a place where I can work through my perfectionism, but I've got a few strategies I use to speed up the process.

First, I use scrap paper and crayola markers, or Wordpad. To me, notebooks and microsoft word or equivalents are a source of stress. They make me feel like I have to know exactly what I'm writing, and it has to be good, or else everything is ruined forever. (Maybe now is a good time to mention I have OCD?

). Once I have my paper and markers, I day dream and write anything that comes to mind. When I start to worry that my notes are disorganized or ugly, I take a moment to breathe, switch marker colours, and continue. Writing in Wordpad or in the memo pad on my phone, in all lowercase and with no punctuation, also helps me to let go of my sense of perfectionism for a short time.

Do you have any specific tips or strategies for dealing with perfectionism? Let's all encourage each other

HD Simplicityy · Feb 8, 2018

I'd revise to a point where it's as close to my idealized version of "perfection" as a story can be. Or tell myself I've done all I need or want, and move on. Your method is...hmm...intriguing lol.

blacbird · Feb 8, 2018

taekonaut said:
To me, notebooks and microsoft word or equivalents are a source of stress. They make me feel like I have to know exactly what I'm writing, and it has to be good, or else everything is ruined forever.

This makes no rational sense to me. With a computer text file, it's far easier to make changes, save a version and work on a copy, etc. Far from needing things to be perfect, or ruining anything, it should open the door to less stress about perfection. At least that's the way i feel about it.

caw

taekonaut · Feb 8, 2018

Doesn't have to make rational sense!

blacbird · Feb 8, 2018

taekonaut said:
Doesn't have to make rational sense!

Perhaps not, but if what you're doing ain't working, perhaps you should consider doing something differently.

caw

Putputt · Feb 8, 2018

blacbird said:
Perhaps not, but if what you're doing ain't working, perhaps you should consider doing something differently.

caw

I'm under the impression that what the OP is doing IS working for him.

Personally, I have to continuously remind myself that it's okay to write trash, especially when I'm writing my first drafts. Sometimes, when the need for perfection becomes overwhelming, I do word sprints, either with a friend or on my own. I set a timer for 20 min max and just write as fast as I can. Basically, it's a race to the finish line, and I tell myself it's okay to be messy, because my MSs come alive in revisions. When it gets really, REALLY bad, I type without looking at the screen. I just look at my fingers as they tap tap tap on the keyboard.

Whatever gets those words down on the page!

Lakey · Feb 9, 2018

blacbird said:
This makes no rational sense to me. With a computer text file, it's far easier to make changes, save a version and work on a copy, etc. Far from needing things to be perfect, or ruining anything, it should open the door to less stress about perfection. At least that's the way i feel about it.

Turn it around a different way. When I write on a computer, it’s so easy to make changes, tweak, adjust, revise, that I get stuck doing just that. I find it hard to move forward if the thing I just typed in isn’t exactly perfect and doing everything I want it to do - which it pretty much never does. I am far more likely to get into a flow state, to be able to relax the need for perfection and just get words out, when I’m writing by hand. Which is why I do much of my first-draft writing that way.

Not that people’s writing preferences need to make rational sense - they don’t, and it’s a little weird to even suggest that they ought to - but perhaps that will help you see that there is method to my (and the OP’s) madness.

Curlz · Feb 9, 2018

I'm curious, how many words do you get on one scrap of paper using crayola markers? And how many scraps of paper make a chapter? Or, is that just for notes and not for the actual manuscript?

blacbird · Feb 9, 2018

Lakey said:
Turn it around a different way. When I write on a computer, it’s so easy to make changes, tweak, adjust, revise, that I get stuck doing just that. I find it hard to move forward if the thing I just typed in isn’t exactly perfect and doing everything I want it to do - which it pretty much never does. I am far more likely to get into a flow state, to be able to relax the need for perfection and just get words out, when I’m writing by hand. Which is why I do much of my first-draft writing that way. .

To clarify, I also do much of my first-draft writing in longhand, usually on yellow legal pads. When I take that, and put it into a word-processing document, that's my first simple editing pass. But in neither exercise do I expect "perfection". That comes later.

But, again, if what someone is doing isn't working (which is the genesis of this thread), it's time to try something different.

caw

Lakey · Feb 9, 2018

blacbird said:
To clarify, I also do much of my first-draft writing in longhand, usually on yellow legal pads. When I take that, and put it into a word-processing document, that's my first simple editing pass. But in neither exercise do I expect "perfection". That comes later.

But for folks who are hampered by perfectionism, we do expect perfection - or at least we desire it strongly enough that it can get in the way of progress. That's the paradox of perfectionism - the need for perfection (or, rather, the fear of falling short of it) actually interferes with the steps necessary to approach it. For me, any psychological trick that helps me let go of that need/fear - or relax it temporarily - is welcome and valued.

But, again, if what someone is doing isn't working (which is the genesis of this thread), it's time to try something different.

No, I don't agree that is the genesis of the thread. Indeed it's rather the opposite. The post at the top of the thread celebrates a few techniques the OP found that do work to help him/her get past the perfectionism block, and asks folks to share some of their own tricks.

taekonaut · Feb 9, 2018

Lakey said:
But for folks who are hampered by perfectionism, we do expect perfection - or at least we desire it strongly enough that it can get in the way of progress. That's the paradox of perfectionism - the need for perfection (or, rather, the fear of falling short of it) actually interferes with the steps necessary to approach it. For me, any psychological trick that helps me let go of that need/fear - or relax it temporarily - is welcome and valued.

No, I don't agree that is the genesis of the thread. Indeed it's rather the opposite. The post at the top of the thread celebrates a few techniques the OP found that do work to help him/her get past the perfectionism block, and asks folks to share some of their own tricks.

yes it is working for me

i dont know why everyone is fighting? but thank you to everyone who helped explain while i was away

taekonaut · Feb 9, 2018

Putputt said:
I'm under the impression that what the OP is doing IS working for him.

Personally, I have to continuously remind myself that it's okay to write trash, especially when I'm writing my first drafts. Sometimes, when the need for perfection becomes overwhelming, I do word sprints, either with a friend or on my own. I set a timer for 20 min max and just write as fast as I can. Basically, it's a race to the finish line, and I tell myself it's okay to be messy, because my MSs come alive in revisions. When it gets really, REALLY bad, I type without looking at the screen. I just look at my fingers as they tap tap tap on the keyboard.

Whatever gets those words down on the page!

word sprints sound like they could be fun!! i'll definitely try it!

taekonaut · Feb 9, 2018

Curlz said:
I'm curious, how many words do you get on one scrap of paper using crayola markers? And how many scraps of paper make a chapter? Or, is that just for notes and not for the actual manuscript?

it depends on how big and messy my writing gets, but it honestly isnt a lot!! @v@;; maybe 500 per page? i dont write whole chapters like this, but it's more than just notes.

nicolane · Feb 9, 2018

Ok a suggestion that I have just given someone else for beating writers block may help (please forgive me for repeating myself)

I suggest writing someting sill that is only intended to amuse you and that you don't even intend anyone else to actually see. Suggestions include:

A serious restaurant review of Jelly and Ice Cream
A detailed instruction manual for making a ham sandwich
Taking a Too Stupid To Live character and show thier pointless death due to being too stupid to tie thier own shoelaces.

Or you could have a discussion with your character like this: http://zette.blogspot.co.uk/2005/10/...character.html

Have a little fun . . . .

Putputt · Feb 9, 2018

blacbird said:
But, again, if what someone is doing isn't working (which is the genesis of this thread), it's time to try something different.

caw

I think you've misread the OP.

Lakey said:
The post at the top of the thread celebrates a few techniques the OP found that do work to help him/her get past the perfectionism block, and asks folks to share some of their own tricks.

That's how I read the OP too.

MaeZe · Feb 10, 2018

taekonaut said:
I'm a perfectionist. It's horrible. I can go from loving to hating an idea just because I can't get it to reach some arbitrary standard!! It takes me a great deal of time to get to a place where I can work through my perfectionism, but I've got a few strategies I use to speed up the process.

First, I use scrap paper and crayola markers, or Wordpad. To me, notebooks and microsoft word or equivalents are a source of stress. They make me feel like I have to know exactly what I'm writing, and it has to be good, or else everything is ruined forever. (Maybe now is a good time to mention I have OCD? ). Once I have my paper and markers, I day dream and write anything that comes to mind. When I start to worry that my notes are disorganized or ugly, I take a moment to breathe, switch marker colours, and continue. Writing in Wordpad or in the memo pad on my phone, in all lowercase and with no punctuation, also helps me to let go of my sense of perfectionism for a short time.

Do you have any specific tips or strategies for dealing with perfectionism? Let's all encourage each other

People in this forum have so much help to offer, know so much more than me, I can only tell you my trick. Maybe it will help, maybe not.

Caveat: I cannot write without a word processor.

When I delete a sentence or a paragraph or a chapter, I put it in another file. In Scrivener I either put it in a 'file' at the end of my WIP, or in the synopsis notes that end up as notes about the chapter. File it somewhere besides the round can. That helps. The darlings aren't dead they are waiting in the wings in case I need them.

I have to edit a lot. But I'm pleased with how it is coming along.

JLindaC · Feb 10, 2018

Ahhhhh, the idea of perfectionism. I'm procrastinating for that exact reason, right now. How perfect to find this post!

Write now, I have to re-write everything in my novel from the first page to the first plot point. It had been going well, until this chapter. And I knew it would be tough. I'm sighing internally right now, because I need to be an adult and just do it.

So first, after I finish this response, I'm going to go back to my document. And I am going to crank out 100 words. I'm sure they'll suck. But at least I've got something on the page. Something to use, or at least look at later and say, nope, I've got to go in a different direction.

So this is my strategy. Just write. Write a little. I'm amazed at what I look back at later and it sparks the imagination and the will to go on.

Your idea sounds great, too. I too, love large pieces of paper and Crayola markers. I hope, where ever you are in Ontario (I'm from Milton), you are writing and writing often!

HD Simplicityy · Feb 11, 2018

I have a tendency to backspace a fair amount when I'm typing a story, rather than writing it by hand. But it comes to a point where if I can't figure it out, or any other solution, I just move past it and keep going.

Perfectionism and beating it!!

taekonaut

HD Simplicityy

blacbird

taekonaut

blacbird

Putputt

permanently suctioned to Buz's leg

Lakey

professional dilettante

Curlz

cutsie-pie

blacbird

Lakey

professional dilettante

taekonaut

taekonaut

taekonaut

nicolane

Adorably Unhinged

Putputt

permanently suctioned to Buz's leg

MaeZe

JLindaC

HD Simplicityy