Transitions and Transitional Phrases

McKelleon · Feb 6, 2018

Hello people smarter than I,

First, because I'm sure someone will clobber me over the head, I want to apologize for starting a thread if it already exists. I tried to search, and either I'm a dingus or the Advanced Search is not awesome.

Regardless, I'm looking for an explanation/book/class/scripture on transitions and transitional phrases. I get the core concept: words/phrases that link ideas together or relate them. I have tried to search Google, and have found results, but I'm just not finding a solid connection. I want to see examples, novels showing it in action. My brain will thank you for any pointers!

EDIT--------------------------------------------->

My terminology might be off, so maybe I will show, don't tell. Ha!

The description I received was: "Transitional words and phrases in fiction, as in nonfiction, aid smooth movement between paragraphs, chapters, scenes, ideas, locations, times and characters."

These were examples:

TIME____
At the same time
Afterwards
For two weeks
Meanwhile
At night
For a month he did not visit, see, plan, etc.
In the morning

LOCATION___
They boarded the plane, train, bus, etc.
The hotel was
She walked alone into the dark streets
When the train stopped

The above is from this article: http://www.be-a-better-writer.com/transitional-words.html

Thanks all!
Ryan

blacbird · Feb 6, 2018

Not quite sure what you are actually asking for. In many many many novels, the typical "transition" is just a scene break, usually indicated by a blank line. It is often both the best and the simplest way to move from point A to point B in a narrative. Perhaps you could clarify.

caw

BenPanced · Feb 6, 2018

Transitions move from one scene to the next or from one chapter to the next. Every novel (or nonfiction text or magazine article or newspaper story, really) employs transition in some way or another; there's really no magic formula that's consistent and can be pinpointed down to say THIS IS AN EXAMPLE OF A TRANSITION. One transition can be a character going to bed for the next in chapter 3 and leaving work the next day at the beginning of chapter 4; another can be a character taking the bus to the hospital with a scene break (usually **** or #### in a manuscript, sometimes formatted differently upon publication) to them walking into the cafeteria there and fainting into the lime Jell-O. Everything you've ever read employs transition so examples abound.

McKelleon · Feb 6, 2018

Hi BenPanced and Caw,

Thank you for the replies! I revised my question above with snippets from one of the articles I read. Most sites shared the same explanation, so I only listed one. I am sure my terminology is incorrect. Also, have been using a writing tool, ProWritingAid.com, to do edits and analyze my work. Transitions is one of the categories it highlights. This is where I discovered that my writing might benefit from more transitions.

BethS · Feb 6, 2018

What might be better would be to get some living eyes on your work, rather than relying on software (which can be unreliable, not to mention hilariously wrong, when it comes to creative writing). When your post count reaches 50, you can start a thread in the Share Your Work section and post some excerpts that show places where you're having difficulty.

The Urban Spaceman · Feb 6, 2018

McKelleon said:
Hi BenPanced and Caw,

Thank you for the replies! I revised my question above with snippets from one of the articles I read. Most sites shared the same explanation, so I only listed one. I am sure my terminology is incorrect. Also, have been using a writing tool, ProWritingAid.com, to do edits and analyze my work. Transitions is one of the categories it highlights. This is where I discovered that my writing might benefit from more transitions.

I would recommend you wait until you've reached 50 posts then share a small example of your work and ask for feedback about transitional phrases. Sometimes, it's more important to know when to transition; the how of it will often come naturally. For example, your paragraphs should transition when a new concept or subject is being discussed or a new character speaks. They shouldn't run on and on.

Similarly, the transition between scenes can be a jump in time or location, or it could be a new POV being introduced. Running several POVs consecutively (or jumping back and forth between several in one scene) is called head-hopping, and in 3rd and 1st POV is confusing for the reader.

I'm afraid this is one of those things that doesn't have an easy answer, as there are myriad ways of doing it, and it often just comes naturally.

Harlequin · Feb 7, 2018

Transitions aren't required unless you want them. Some tenses or points of view or narrative focuses need them but not always. I am transition light, you might say, and the main effect that has is reducing my word count.

Bufty · Feb 7, 2018

Hi, McKelleon.

A better search tool is the site specific Google Custom Search box at the bottom left of every page. Pop in 'transitional phrases' and see what you get. Should be a stack of threads that either dealt with or touched upon the topic. Higher the ref number means the more recent the thread.

Browsing the results may help, but don't rush to bring an old thread back to life. Tends to be frowned on.

BethS · Feb 7, 2018

Harlequin said:
Transitions aren't required unless you want them.

This makes me wonder if we're all talking about the same thing in this thread. I'm trying to imagine a story where at least some transitions (in time or space) wouldn't be needed, but maybe you meant something different?

Fallen · Feb 7, 2018

I think you're after cohesive ties, and yeah, it impacts on transition and how readers move from word to word, scene to scene etc.

E.g., you can have transition at a micro (word etc) level: your time adverbs, for example. With this quote: "Now is the winter of discontent". Why does 'now' work? Because it gives the sentence a sense of immediate threat with the time marker. Compare it to using 'then' and changing the tense of that sentence and taking away the soliloquy: 'The winter of discontent was then...' you lose all impact, immediacy, and screw up a damn good sentence: you can see 'now' and 'is' working together to further instill that immediacy). These time adverb ties etc are great for giving the script a timeline for the reader that they can relate too in their lives. They're also a great tool to use when it comes to moving from narrating past perfect and you need to bring the narrative back into the simple past tense.

But 'cohesive ties' can also move from sentence to sentence, idea to idea, paragraph to paragraph, scene to scene and beyond (from micro to macro level). E.g., you have a computer, but cohesive ties to that will be: hard drive, keyboard, mouse. Then it's how you tie them into a fictional sentence to create meaning: A computer sits on her desk, the mouse in a death sleep, the keyboard dusty.... Overall: the cohesive ties in that sentence and the transition from one to the other build on allowing the reader to interact with images and come to the conclusion themselves that the computer maybe hasn't been used in a while: show v tell, plus also author/reader interaction.

But the list is endless with how you make a seamless transition from word to word, scene to scene etc., and I agree with everyone else: best thing to do is to get your work in SYW. Give them an extract, and let them know you're worried if reader flow is interrupted by anything. You can use too many glaring ties, e.g., repeating 'now' and forcing the reader to notice the repeated word, not the imagery you're trying to build with the sentence itself, but you won't know that's an issue until someone is able to read your work.

Harlequin · Feb 7, 2018

Scene transitions (change of location) or significant passages of time.

Weak transitions can be the mark of amateurish writing, or at least is in my case. Transitions and actions scenes are my big pitfalls.

Lakey · Feb 7, 2018

I know I say this in response to a lot of questions, but one thing that helps me with stuff like this is to open up a couple of favorite books and see how they do it. You can read over dozens of scene transitions in a short time, focusing on what techniques they use to get you from one scene to another, to convey the passage of time, to convey changes in POV, and so on. You have read hundreds of books in your life without ever focusing on this before, so you haven't noticed the techniques - and you haven't noticed them because they work. If you spend a little time browsing with focus on this issue, you'll find many ideas that will help your writing right away.

BethS · Feb 7, 2018

Harlequin said:
Scene transitions (change of location) or significant passages of time.

Weak transitions can be the mark of amateurish writing, or at least is in my case.

What would be an example of a weak transition?

To me, a weak transition would be one that's unclear or otherwise doesn't do the job it's supposed to. But you may mean something different by that.

Harlequin · Feb 7, 2018

in my own writing, all my early drafts are free of description, have insufficient action and interiority, and also lack transitions.

Transitions are often a place to put in all of the above (except interiority which belongs everywhere), as switching to a new location is usually a good point at which to describe it, if you are going to or if you need to. If you are prone to writing sit-down conversations (as I seem to be) then transitions are also where more narrative and action could be found.

If it's a non-sit down conversation then movement of location and/or plot takes place alongside the dialogue (meanign the dialogue is paired with the transition) and I find the balancing act involved very difficult.

I struggle to convey passage of time well, which is another transition; it's okay if the time is consistent across the MS but if it speeds up or slows down relative to the other sections then I'm in difficulty.

all of this could be summed up as, writing be hard. Just all of it. All the time. Except revising something that's already been polished to death, that's not so bad >.>

McKelleon · Feb 7, 2018

BethS said:
What might be better would be to get some living eyes on your work, rather than relying on software (which can be unreliable, not to mention hilariously wrong, when it comes to creative writing). When your post count reaches 50, you can start a thread in the Share Your Work section and post some excerpts that show places where you're having difficulty.

The Urban Spaceman said:
I would recommend you wait until you've reached 50 posts then share a small example of your work and ask for feedback about transitional phrases. Sometimes, it's more important to know when to transition; the how of it will often come naturally. For example, your paragraphs should transition when a new concept or subject is being discussed or a new character speaks. They shouldn't run on and on.

Similarly, the transition between scenes can be a jump in time or location, or it could be a new POV being introduced. Running several POVs consecutively (or jumping back and forth between several in one scene) is called head-hopping, and in 3rd and 1st POV is confusing for the reader.

I'm afraid this is one of those things that doesn't have an easy answer, as there are myriad ways of doing it, and it often just comes naturally.

I agree with both statements, and will post some of my work for review! Just need to earn my keep around here first.

Bufty said:
Hi, McKelleon.

A better search tool is the site specific Google Custom Search box at the bottom left of every page. Pop in 'transitional phrases' and see what you get. Should be a stack of threads that either dealt with or touched upon the topic. Higher the ref number means the more recent the thread.

Browsing the results may help, but don't rush to bring an old thread back to life. Tends to be frowned on.

That is good to know! I shall do that.

Fallen said:
I think you're after cohesive ties, and yeah, it impacts on transition and how readers move from word to word, scene to scene etc.

E.g., you can have transition at a micro (word etc) level: your time adverbs, for example. With this quote: "Now is the winter of discontent". Why does 'now' work? Because it gives the sentence a sense of immediate threat with the time marker. Compare it to using 'then' and changing the tense of that sentence and taking away the soliloquy: 'The winter of discontent was then...' you lose all impact, immediacy, and screw up a damn good sentence: you can see 'now' and 'is' working together to further instill that immediacy). These time adverb ties etc are great for giving the script a timeline for the reader that they can relate too in their lives. They're also a great tool to use when it comes to moving from narrating past perfect and you need to bring the narrative back into the simple past tense.

But 'cohesive ties' can also move from sentence to sentence, idea to idea, paragraph to paragraph, scene to scene and beyond (from micro to macro level). E.g., you have a computer, but cohesive ties to that will be: hard drive, keyboard, mouse. Then it's how you tie them into a fictional sentence to create meaning: A computer sits on her desk, the mouse in a death sleep, the keyboard dusty.... Overall: the cohesive ties in that sentence and the transition from one to the other build on allowing the reader to interact with images and come to the conclusion themselves that the computer maybe hasn't been used in a while: show v tell, plus also author/reader interaction.

But the list is endless with how you make a seamless transition from word to word, scene to scene etc., and I agree with everyone else: best thing to do is to get your work in SYW. Give them an extract, and let them know you're worried if reader flow is interrupted by anything. You can use too many glaring ties, e.g., repeating 'now' and forcing the reader to notice the repeated word, not the imagery you're trying to build with the sentence itself, but you won't know that's an issue until someone is able to read your work.

This was very insightful, thank you. I want my writing to have fluidity, creating less distraction for the reader and breathing life into the story. Some concepts hang on the outskirts of my mind and I have to pull them in to comprehend. Only then do they seem obvious.

Lakey said:
I know I say this in response to a lot of questions, but one thing that helps me with stuff like this is to open up a couple of favorite books and see how they do it. You can read over dozens of scene transitions in a short time, focusing on what techniques they use to get you from one scene to another, to convey the passage of time, to convey changes in POV, and so on. You have read hundreds of books in your life without ever focusing on this before, so you haven't noticed the techniques - and you haven't noticed them because they work. If you spend a little time browsing with focus on this issue, you'll find many ideas that will help your writing right away.

That is a fantastic idea. I need to crack a few open. Open to suggestions if you have any!

Thanks everyone who replied. I love having discussions with fellow writers and hearing what they have learned.

JoB42 · Feb 7, 2018

I wasn't immediately sure what you meant by transitions, but this is what I think you're asking:

1. Jack got home from work.
2. Jack plopped down on the couch.
3. Jack turned on the television.
4. Jack fell asleep.

The above four things happen, but it's a bit boring if we just leave it that way, right? Jack did this and Jack did that. Can a handful of transitional phrases help?

After Jack got home from work, he went into the living room and plopped down on the couch before turning on the television. Halfway through the evening news, Jack fell asleep.

Now we have the same series of events, but they flow together and it's easier for the reader to follow what's happening.

blacbird · Feb 7, 2018

Frankly, the best thing you can do to get a handle on the problem you perceive is to read a lot of good narrative fiction and pay attention to how good successful writers handle "transitions", whatever you mean by that word. That will e far more helpful to you than reading "How-to" books about writing.

caw

BethS · Feb 7, 2018

Harlequin said:
Transitions are often a place to put in all of the above (except interiority which belongs everywhere), as switching to a new location is usually a good point at which to describe it

If it's a place that's new to the characters or the reader, then yes. But otherwise it's just a matter of stating where the character is and moving on from there.

If you are prone to writing sit-down conversations (as I seem to be) then transitions are also where more narrative and action could be found.

Unless you're writing a story that takes place entirely in dialogue (and I don't think you are, are you?), then action should also take up a good part of the story. It doesn't require a transition in time or space to have action. Your characters do things in pursuit of their goals, don't they?

If it's a non-sit down conversation then movement of location and/or plot takes place alongside the dialogue (meanign the dialogue is paired with the transition) and I find the balancing act involved very difficult.

This confuses me. What does a transition have to do with the characters doing plot-related things? Transitions are mere mechanical devices to show a change in location or time, the simplest being along the lines of: "Three days later..." "After sunset..." "When he arrived at the mayor's office..." But surely you have action in your scenes that doesn't involve transitions.

I agree that writing is hard, but this is maybe making it harder than it needs to be...?

BethS · Feb 7, 2018

JoB42 said:
I wasn't immediately sure what you meant by transitions, but this is what I think you're asking:

1. Jack got home from work.
2. Jack plopped down on the couch.
3. Jack turned on the television.
4. Jack fell asleep.

The above four things happen, but it's a bit boring if we just leave it that way, right? Jack did this and Jack did that. Can a handful of transitional phrases help?

After Jack got home from work, he went into the living room and plopped down on the couch before turning on the television. Halfway through the evening news, Jack fell asleep.

Now we have the same series of events, but they flow together and it's easier for the reader to follow what's happening.

They do flow better when written like that, but they're still boring and probably unnecessary.

And if the transition is supposed to cover the time from when Jack left work to the next story event, you wouldn't write what happens in between. You'd just put in a scene break and start with that new event. If it's required for clarity to mention the time or location, that can be slipped in with just a few words.

JoB42 · Feb 8, 2018

BethS said:
They do flow better when written like that, but they're still boring and probably unnecessary. And if the transition is supposed to cover the time from when Jack left work to the next story event, you wouldn't write what happens in between. You'd just put in a scene break and start with that new event. If it's required for clarity to mention the time or location, that can be slipped in with just a few words.

I thought the OP was looking for ways to transition the character's actions in scene. But I went back and clicked on the article link, and yeah, I guess he's talking about transitioning from scene to scene. I don't know. I'm confused. I'm just going to go lay down. It's for the best.

BethS · Feb 8, 2018

JoB42 said:
I don't know. I'm confused.

Me, too.

Everyone seems to be talking about something different...

Bufty · Feb 8, 2018

Mountains and molehills spring to mind. :flag:

Lakey · Feb 8, 2018

McKelleon said:
That is a fantastic idea. I need to crack a few open. Open to suggestions if you have any!

Literally any novel that you like will do the job. It has scenes, and therefore it has transitions between them (assuming transitions between scenes are what you’re asking about; I know some people have interpreted your question differently). If you are new to writing fiction of your own, you never noticed the transitions because you weren’t thinking about the mechanics of how stories are put together. Now that you are thinking about it, you can go back to your favorite stories and learn a whole lot of new things just by analyzing how they do the things that make them your favorite stories.

All of that said, as I’ve been reading this thread I keep thinking of this one scene transition in Patricia Highsmith’s Strangers on a Train. It’s about two-thirds of the way through the book, when the protagonist is really starting to unravel. I can’t recall how the previous scene ends, but the next scene begins as the character is slamming on the breaks in his car, trying to stop before he hits a child who is in the road. It begins like that - dropping you right onto the hot point of the event, inside Guy’s head, stepping on the brakes and watching the child get closer and closer and - stopping just in time.

After that, it unfolds that Guy is driving his fiancée’s car, not his own; that his fiancée is in the car with him, and so are her parents. They have all witnessed this event, and all are shaken up and disturbed by it. And finally, at the end of this paragraph, Guy acknowledges to himself that he steered toward the child on purpose. It’s a terrific encapsulation of the warring forces in Guy’s psyche, angling for destruction or preservation.

But this post is not about the psychological content of the scene - it’s about the transition. Think about how Highsmith set that up. She could have started with “As Guy drove Mr Faulkner’s Cadillac down Elm Street, he found himself irritated by Anne’s fumbling with the radio and Mrs Faulkner’s constant chatter from the back seat. Why must it all grate on him so? Suddenly a child stepped into the street ahead of him....”

Instead, she reels the scene forward, and begins it at its crucial moment, the moment when Guy stomps on the brakes. She starts the scene with a jolt, with a heart-stopping moment for the protagonist, and then gradually (but over a paragraph or two, not over pages and pages) fills in the picture around it - the child, the street, Anne, her parents. The scene-setting concludes with the bombshell: Guy thinks he did it on purpose.

It almost turns the scene inside out from the straightforward way you might envision it in your mind on first draft. The scene sticks in my mind as a powerful example of a place where the best transition is, in a way, no transition at all.

Harlequin · Feb 8, 2018

If it's a place that's new to the characters or the reader, then yes. But otherwise it's just a matter of stating where the character is and moving on from there.

Maybe it's better to say movement in general is difficult for me. For example, the last chapters of one MS take place on an empty ship (well, empty aside from the two MCs, but you know.) The description is relevant, and balancing dialogue against physical progress along with building tension is hard for me. It may be that you think of it as a no brainer because it's not hard for you and so seems second nature

but absurd as it is, I struggle with that.

Unless you're writing a story that takes place entirely in dialogue (and I don't think you are, are you?), then action should also take up a good part of the story.

Ahaha, no not quite the entire thing, but the narrative is built around conversation. Both climaxes are conversations or debates. The action is primarily emotional, if you will. I try very hard to steer away from set piece writing (a succession of conversations in fixed, stagnant locations) but if I'm not careful I drift into that easily.

It doesn't require a transition in time or space to have action. Your characters do things in pursuit of their goals, don't they?

Lots of talking and intrigue and thinking and reflecting... >.> Jeez I make myself sound boring. To me, transitions are just a means of getting from one desirable scene to the next but in a chase book (for example) they're everything.

This confuses me. What does a transition have to do with the characters doing plot-related things? Transitions are mere mechanical devices to show a change in location or time, the simplest being along the lines of: "Three days later..." "After sunset..." "When he arrived at the mayor's office..." But surely you have action in your scenes that doesn't involve transitions.

I agree that writing is hard, but this is maybe making it harder than it needs to be...?

I don't know

BethS · Feb 8, 2018

Harlequin said:
It may be that you think of it as a no brainer because it's not hard for you and so seems second nature but absurd as it is, I struggle with that.

Hey, every writer has areas they struggle with. In that respect, we're all the same.

Transitions and Transitional Phrases

McKelleon

New Skin; Learning About Thick Fish

blacbird

BenPanced

THE BLUEBERRY QUEEN OF HADES (he/him)

McKelleon

New Skin; Learning About Thick Fish

BethS

The Urban Spaceman

Existential quandary

Harlequin

Eat books, not brains!

Bufty

Where have the last ten years gone?

BethS

Fallen

Stood at the coalface

Harlequin

Eat books, not brains!

Lakey

professional dilettante

BethS

Harlequin

Eat books, not brains!

McKelleon

New Skin; Learning About Thick Fish

JoB42

blacbird

BethS

BethS

JoB42

BethS

Bufty

Where have the last ten years gone?

Lakey

professional dilettante

Harlequin

Eat books, not brains!

BethS