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Not quite sure where to post this, but I thought it would be interesting to get opinions from other writers (and readers). In another thread it was appropriate for me to mention Mark Twain’s famous dictum about the difference between the right word and the almost-right word being the difference between the lightning and the lightning-bug. The right word can do a lot of work to make even a simple sentence live, and compel interest in a reader. This is a small version of an exercise I sometimes give to my English composition students. It presents the opening sentences of several short stories which seem to me to work largely on the basis of a single word that carries much of the weight.
By no means do I suggest that all good stories need such a device to work; many induce a reader to carry on by other means. But I have found the exercise useful to get students to think in terms of what their words actually do, in terms of communicating to a reader, and what can be done by using just the right word at the right time. I ain't going to tell you what the stories or authors are.
So, students, here’s your quiz: Which single word in each of these opening sentences to short stories is the one that does the heavy lifting, carries the real weight?
She sat at the window watching the evening invade the avenue.
There was no hurry, except for the thirst, like clotted salt in the back of his throat . . .
When I came to the House of the Sphinx it was already dark.
We knew him in those unprotected days when we were content to hold in our hands our lives and our property.
The boy sat on the porch steps in the warm September breeze and listened to his parents inside, behind the closed door, still arguing.
Obviously this is my instructorial opinion, and I don’t grade students on their responses. I just want to get them to pay attention to individual words, what they mean and what they convey in the context of the sentence. But in each of these I find a single word that really resonates, and I have found it a useful exercise. So, what say you?
caw
By no means do I suggest that all good stories need such a device to work; many induce a reader to carry on by other means. But I have found the exercise useful to get students to think in terms of what their words actually do, in terms of communicating to a reader, and what can be done by using just the right word at the right time. I ain't going to tell you what the stories or authors are.
So, students, here’s your quiz: Which single word in each of these opening sentences to short stories is the one that does the heavy lifting, carries the real weight?
She sat at the window watching the evening invade the avenue.
There was no hurry, except for the thirst, like clotted salt in the back of his throat . . .
When I came to the House of the Sphinx it was already dark.
We knew him in those unprotected days when we were content to hold in our hands our lives and our property.
The boy sat on the porch steps in the warm September breeze and listened to his parents inside, behind the closed door, still arguing.
Obviously this is my instructorial opinion, and I don’t grade students on their responses. I just want to get them to pay attention to individual words, what they mean and what they convey in the context of the sentence. But in each of these I find a single word that really resonates, and I have found it a useful exercise. So, what say you?
caw