It requires the kind of interpersonal skills I absolutely suck it. I don't know how to make a complete stranger like me; in social situations, I mostly hang out in back, feel people out, until I know enough about them to talk about stuff beyond TV/Movies and the like.
Keep the faith. Writing novels is one of the few places were it's not essential to have great inter-personal skills, and I say this as an asocial introvert who avoids all parties, has a very minimal social life, and has deliberately chosen to work at home so as to avoid interacting with even co-workers. Of course, great social skills can help in just about any situation, and publishing is no exception. I'm terrible at the witty bon mot, but stuff like Twitter and other social media has allowed "digital extroverts" to overshadow and marginalize us introverts even in publishing. I guarantee you that if a writer with amazing online charisma is charming the pants off of people on the Internet, I too would be that person unaware it was even happening, because I was too busy at home, wearing a VR helmet and playing Skyrim, thus avoiding interactions with real human beings.
But you can still do it.
I've tried going out to writers conferences and fumbling actual meets with agents. I didn't even have a Twitter account until September of this year, and subsequently had an invisible online presence, still do for the most part. But if your story is good, and your writing is good, and you get that lucky confluence of an agent in the right, receptive mood, a market that is looking for the kind of story you're telling, and the circumstances that land your query right at that agent's mailbox just as he or she is thinking about an acquiring editor that is looking for just that kind of story, then the work will speak for itself, so you don't have to.
When I got my agent this year, it was completely cold. Just a query that led to a request for a partial, that led to a request for the full, that led to an offer of representation. I didn't have to dazzle anyone online with snappy repartee, I didn't have to establish an online reputation as the digital life of the party, and I didn't even have to meet anyone in real life, hob nob, or rely on connections or friend of a friend to make a reference. It's easier to do it the other way, to be loud, noticeable and charming, but if you're as private as I am, and only interact with others when necessary, it's still feasible. So don't give up hope. Introverts CAN still let their work do the talking. It might just take more time when the more popular, extroverted personalities are selling themselves so aggressively.
this!!!
