There are as many erotic terms as there are erotic people and some won't feel comfortable with what others crave. Same thing in your characters. The terminology needs to fall in character as well as meet the expectations of the reader. That's the hardest part about well-done erotica, as opposed to the 1970's men's magazine letters and stories of that ilk, they have to be realistic, believable and still erotic.

Looking at the broad range of erotica on the market, and there's seems to be a lot of bad erotica making it to market, specific terms can go all across the range, just as they could with any romance genre. You're going to need to fit what you feel comfortable writing into what makes a good story, including the erotica part.

You might want to try a trick I know a few writing groups use, both romance and erotica. Write the stories separately, except for the various love/eroticism scenes, and write those together. Copious amounts of wine and no other distractions work best but, when you're done, each writer's story will have an appropriate amount and style of erotica for the particular story at hand.

Jeff (who can't quite seem to get it up to go full-on erotica)