Something from a newbie

I find myself unable to write poetry about small things and human moments, I tend to only do it when my emotions get too overwhelming. So I always admire poets who can capture the smaller observations, which I think you did quite well here. There's a certain quaintess to this poem that I did not expect and enjoyed.

Interesting poem. Thanks for sharing it. I have a hard time writing poems. They all come out sounding like railway cars rolling along the tracks. Yours didn't.

I actually love this. It makes me think of how individual our pleasures are. We come together in the arts, sports, and even religion to give some commonality to what we love, but there's only so much sharing we can ever do.

I liked it, too, Celia.

Can't make any constructive comments because I'm ignorant about poetry.

I remember doing that needle-on-record thing on our old HMV gramophone in the late 1940's and 50's. And also flicking the fast/slow guide back and forth. Happy memories.

I'll be honest. I'm a skeptic and a critic by nature so I have to ignore a lot of the thoughts I have or I'll get in trouble. When I read this, I was very skeptical about the form and style. It seems to tell a skeleton of a story, bare bones and no flesh. And then the focus of the narrator changed and it sounded like bones rattling. I wasn't ready for it. And maybe I shouldn't have been.

And then I got to the end and felt like this great symmetry had been achieved. I could see your skeleton happily plucking away and I knew it was right. I'm trying to find a single line that made it, that delivered the intent, but I can't and that speaks for itself. A complete piece can't be pulled apart. The change in narrative focus helps deliver the meaning. It makes it more personal. I like this a lot and I'm glad that you wrote it.

i liked this very much. please do more.

if you ever want to mess around with this i recommend playing around with the line breaks. like the needle taped to the cone line breaks will make the poem go as fast or as slow as you like. also, they emphasize different things depending on where you make the breaks.

but i like it just the way it is.

The poem stole my heart when I came to the part where the needle cracked or crackled on the record. That reminded me of a guy who once said that coming home, and hearing his wife fry onions and garlic, was like love. Also, I miss the frying pan sound of old fashioned records.

Good poetry gives you concrete things you can smell and hear and touch, and you achieve that.

However, I am not too sure of the sequencing of the poem.

For example, the protagonist in the peom sounds like a guy who would like the sound of one hand clapping, but I am not sure if you said that at the right juncture

All in all, I think its damn good.