Plot help

Rechan

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I'm writing a noir story about an investigative journalist dealing with a really nasty corporation, and I'm hitting a wall on basic plotting early in the story. This is outside of my area of expertise.

The situation:

Linda is an activist/journalist watchdog who goes after Big Pharma, exposing various crimes and corruptions.

1. Linda gets an email from a whistleblower that Company is doing a bad thing. Maybe falsifying drug data, or giving doctors kickbacks for good reviews/ignoring adverse effects, something.

2. ?

3. ?

4. Linda gets into contact with a doctor who is willing to give her the proof she needs.

Of course there are complications with the doctor, and it gets worse from there, but I simply have no idea what the steps she takes to get to 4.

It needs to be more complicated than Whistleblower giving her Doctor's name; Linda needs to actually do some chasing. During step 2 or 3, she does something that tips the company off she's digging around, and they bug her phone/car in order to find out what she knows and who rats on them. This way they get to the doctor before/as she does.

Hell, I may need to add an extra event between Whistleblower and Doctor, just to give the company time to find out she's sniffing around, bug her, and get useful information. But once more, I simply am at a loss for the types of things that would lead from one step to the next.
 
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Bufty

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Clarifying the 'bad thing' in #1 would help decide on steps #2 and 3.

Wouldn't Linda want to meet the whistleblower? To assess the credibility of the informant and get a link to a Doctor?

Kickbacks are nothing new. What does she mean by 'falsifying drug data' or 'ignoring adverse effects'? Who (beyond company executives) is benefitting from these 'bad things'? Somebody in government department?

Have you considered some other way to get the informant to communicate or make initial contact with Linda other than by e-mail? Seems a risky way for a whistleblower to get in touch with an investigator, especially if it's via one of the company's computers. On the other hand, maybe the whistleblower is already under suspicion and her home terminal is also being monitored, creating instant tension if the informant knows she is under suspicion - who gets to her first- the company hoods or Linda?

Is this a novel length story or a short story? Saying it's 'outside your area of expertise' and that you are hitting a wall so early suggests you may be writing it reluctantly.

It actually seems as though your imagination should provide most of what you appear to be seeking here.

Good luck
 
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cbenoi1

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1 - Whistleblower tells her to go to conference XYZ and play "bullshit bingo" (look it up. it's fun) with a play card she gets by email. Note: she should not be surprised by this. BS bingo is a journalist thing.

2 - Heroine goes to conference and sits in to every presentations, not knowing exactly what is expected of her. But the bingo game makes her listen carefully to everything she hears. In those presentations, she learns a few important details on a) the company, b) their methods, c) which projects seems to be more important to the company, and d) who works there in research. During each presentation, she ticks off the squares when she hears the specific keywords marked on the card, but no presentation turns into a winning card although some journalists, seemingly at random, rise up and shout "Bullshit Bingo!".

Of course she draws some attention. An activist at the conference? Surely there is something wrong. So they follow her during the day, search her hotel room and car rental, interview who she talks to, etc.

3 - The last presentation of the day. She's dog-tired. The last presenter is Doctor X. Not only she gets a bingo, she gets a full card. She leaves the conference knowing who to talk to, but the bad guys can't.


Also, you may want to watch this short video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKpMtrC16v4 . The interesting portion starts at about 2:25 in. It refers to Chinatown (link).

Hope this helps.

-cb
 
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Ihe R.G.

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I agree that the big points of your story should be entirely up to you. Without knowing what your plans are for the rest of the story, or the details about characters/nature of the crime/whistleblower identity/etc, we cannot really offer any significant insight--specially in a mystery, where everything is "connected" and subtext and attention to detail overtake scenes, doing the story by committee is a flat out bad idea, IMO.

With that said, some general rules of thumb is, when in doubt, to ask simple questions: why does the whistleblower choose your MC? Why does the whistleblower decide to do so? Are his/her motivations pure? His/her identity will be very important--is he/she part of the evil Pharma, or the competition, or is he/she an independent? Why and how did your heroine end up investigating this particular Pharma? Does the whistleblower point her in that direction (be careful with getting too reactionary and passive) or does she suspect before that (if she didn't suspect before that, why does the whistleblower choose her to begin with--what makes her special)? WHat does the Pharma stand to lose? Does it have allies and enemies outside the heroine? How about the MC's contacts?

Point 2 should be all about her investigating, being proactive, making sure the whistleblower's info checks out, doing some digging on her own to connect the dots. Maybe trying to find the whistleblower's identity (as one knows, the source's identity is almost as important as the info itself. WHO gives it to you matters to determine validity and personal agendas so as to not be played or used like a fool.

And the most important question for your dilemma at point 3 is: What would it take to convince the doctor to give concrete proof? Maybe the heroine needs to go on a side quest in order to force/convince the good doctor. Maybe he/she asks for something in return.

Just some brainstorming. Hope it helps.
 
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Rechan

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I am intentionally giving as little details as possible because in my experience it distracts from the thing I need assistance on. It bogs everything down, leads to more questions about more details and more questions over them; I say she gets an email, already I'm being told 'well they shouldn't be using email". Let me worry about that.

Just give me possibilities, actions that journalists do because all I can think of is "call everyone in company" and that's dumb. At least cbenol1 gave me something; thank you cbenol1.

In other words, if I said "I have dead body, cop does stuff, it leads to the smoking gun, what cop stuff do cops do to get to the evidence?" Instead of giving you all the details of who the dead person is and the killer is, it's: "They could find the murder weapon and the weapon is something specific, like a mechanic's tool. They could canvas people around the murder scene to get descriptions; a person gives them details that help narrow down time of death within a thirty minute gap. They will question the victim's family and coworkers for info about the victim, probe for possible motive and alibi. They check victim's financial records and find they've been paying someone $10,000 every six months for over three years."

Is this a novel length story or a short story? Saying it's 'outside your area of expertise' and that you are hitting a wall so early suggests you may be writing it reluctantly.

It's a short story for an anthology I really want to be a part of. I've been sitting on this story for about three years, I've been so focused and excited about the rest of the story, I haven't been able to work out the beginning.
 
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Bufty

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Well, just keep all the details back - that usually helps folk trying to assist. Did you consider phoning a journalist and asking? Most folk are only too glad to natter about their job.
 

Ihe R.G.

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(...) At least cbenol1 gave me something; thank you cbenol1.

I don't mind it really, as I'm pretty thick-skinned, but that comment comes off as quite rude and disparaging, as if everyone else's contributions were garbage. Kind of unfair, specially when I took the time to give you a few paragraphs on general ideas--granted, maybe not what you wanted to hear exactly, but this is a forum, not your "writing google" with all the answers you seek. I'll kindly ask you assess how some of your replies can come off to others.

I will repeat, for your benefit, that the big plot points need to come from you, because they shape the story in very significant ways, specially in the very intricately interconnected mystery plots. At the moment it seems to me you don't have a story or a plot, only a premise/concept, so you should build it up a bit more before asking for help on specifics. I'm sure you don't want others writing your story for you.

I sincerely wish you all the luck with your project (I know how frustrating it can be), but you've absolutely lost me as a contributor. I hope other contributors don't find the attitude and lack of gratitude off-putting. :gone:
 

Rechan

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I will repeat, for your benefit, that the big plot points need to come from you, because they shape the story in very significant ways, specially in the very intricately interconnected mystery plots.
These aren't major plot points. The bulk of the story happens once the main character gets to 4. These are just the actions taken to get in the door. If it weren't for the bugging, this would be a narrative summary "investigation montage" sequence.
 
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Calla Lily

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[Puts Mod hat on]

To the OP:

You've asked for help.

1. The proper response to everyone who's taking time from their own writing to offer help is "Thank you."
2. Being rude and dismissive to the people you've asked to help you? Not the optimal choice.
3. My advice: See #1 above if you hope to get any more brainstorming help.
 

Rechan

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[Puts Mod hat on]

To the OP:

You've asked for help.

1. The proper response to everyone who's taking time from their own writing to offer help is "Thank you."
.

Why? And that's not being sarcastic.

If you ask for pizza place recommendations, and the responses are three fried chicken restaurant suggestions and one pizza place suggestion, why would you thank everyone? How do you acknowledge and show appreciation to the person who gave you what you asked for? And how do you encourage future suggestions to be for pizza places and not fried chicken?

What should I have said to encourage the types of responses I wanted? I don't know a politer way to steer the discussion away from paths I wasn't asking for. I wanted more responses like cbenol1's, that's why gave them praise.
 
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Helix

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Why? And that's not being sarcastic.

If you ask for pizza place recommendations, and the responses are three fried chicken restaurant suggestions and one pizza place suggestion, why would you thank everyone? How do you acknowledge and show appreciation to the person who gave you what you asked for?

You're not so much asking for recommendations as asking other people to create your plot for you.
 

Rechan

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You're not so much asking for recommendations as asking other people to create your plot for you.

But I'm not. You're saying I'm asking people to build an entire set of stairs, all I'm asking for is "what kind of step can go in this spot in the stairs".

Firstly, the plot outline is about 12 steps, so I'm asking about a small piece, not the whole thing. Secondly, I'm not asking for the solution to be given, just possible actions.

For instance, I started a thread elsewhere on the board asking how investigative journalists investigate. The response was: check records, court filings, who's on the board of directors, backgrounds of employees, etc. That is useful. It's not creating a plot but it's a list of things the character can do. I don't need the dots connected for me, but if given an idea of what the dots could be, I can link them on my own.

cbenol1's post provided one possible action: go to a conference and listen. Also, cbenol1's post focused on steps 2 and 3, while the other posters were focused on everything around those two points.
 
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mccardey

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It's just good manners. If you ask for help and people respond, you say Thank you. Even if the help was not exactly what you were expecting - in which case think of ways to clarify what you were asking for. In fact if you look again at your OP, you'll see that you didn't ask for anything - there was no clear question, just a list of your difficulties.

People tried to answer the question you hadn't asked, so then you say Thank you.

Good manners cost nothing. :granny:
 
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Rechan

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It's just good manners. If you as for help and people respond, you say Thank you. Even if the help was not exactly what you were expecting.

Alright. Thank you.

in which case think of ways to clarify what you were asking for.
It really does feel like the more I try to explain or clarify, the less clear I am.
 
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mccardey

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Alright. Thank you.


It really does feel like the more I try to explain or clarify, the less clear I am.
Formulate your question before you post it would be my suggestion. If you ask a specific question, you'll be more likely to get helpful answers. (But you still say thank you for any answers. You're thanking the effort that someone made on your behalf, not rewarding them for getting it right.)
 

Rechan

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I apologize for dismissing responses, especially to IHE R.G.

I was trying to say "You are focused on the wrong place, this person is focused on the right one." I'm not sure how to do that in away that is both clear and nice.
 
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Bufty

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Accepted. We all slip up sometime.

Taking time to edit an initial post so the question is focused and clear and all necessary background information is given does help.

I apologize for dismissing responses, especially to IHE R.G.

I was trying to say "You are focused on the wrong place, this person is focused on the right one." I'm not sure how to do that in away that is both clear and nice.
 

cbenoi1

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cbenol1's post provided one possible action: go to a conference and listen. Also, cbenol1's post focused on steps 2 and 3, while the other posters were focused on everything around those two points.
Happy to have helped, but ...

Please. Next time don't drag me along for the debate.

-cb
 
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Ihe R.G.

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I apologize for dismissing responses, especially to IHE R.G.

I was trying to say "You are focused on the wrong place, this person is focused on the right one." I'm not sure how to do that in away that is both clear and nice.

No worries, I'm a forums veteran (although new here).

I feel the need to clarify that in my first response I attempted advice on ways to find the answers yourself. It wasn't as tangential as it seemed, IMO, going point by point with what questions could help you develop the scenes and get the juices flowing for each part. It was the typical "give a man fish vs teach him to fish" thinking.

For next time, a "Thank you, but that's not quite what I'm looking for" followed by maybe (if you're up for it) a clarification is more than fine by me. I also don't mind replies being simply ignored.

Hopefully we'll be of help to each other in future enquiries. Till next post.
 

mlred

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The whistleblower could be someone Linda trusts and that is why she is willing to investigate/get involved.
 

frimble3

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The whistleblower gives your character a short list of involved doctor's names, but the journalist has to get one to talk on the record and provide evidence. This could be as long or short a process as you need, and provides red-herrings for the villains. If two doctors on the list, turn up dead, well... someone's got the same list.
As to why she's putting faith in the whistleblower, if she's regularly investigating Big Pharm, maybe it's someone she knows from another case? Or, who came to her because they know she would be interested.
 

Atlantic12

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If it's a short story, why bother with all the initial 1-3 stuff? Jump in at #4, move forward, and fill in the backstory on a need-to-know basis. It's a matter of structure, just starting the story closer to whatever catharsis you're shooting for. This makes a lot more sense since it sounds like you don't want to write the other stuff anyway.

So in this case, what launches your story is the doctor handing her proof, not the whistleblower. You could make this scene pretty suspenseful and it must lead to problems for the journalist. Then take it from there.
 

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I worked for an evil corporation for many years. At one point, most of senior management was sent to prison for securities fraud. I was one step below the level that was indicted. I know a little bit about how this works.

Reality may not make the best story, but it could help.

First, when somebody is doing the bad thing, lots of people know about it, but very few are willing to admit to themselves that it is bad. Most people worry about themselves before they think about ethics. Even their thoughts of ethics are colored by the possibility of their own hurt. Consequently, a scene or two in which a straight arrow turns into a craven criminal when they realize that their family will suffer if the criminality is revealed can be effective.

Second, no one acts with pure self-interest. Some of the most compelling features of a character show inconsistency in their self-interest. A character that revels in raping widows and children, but risks his life for his fellow marines, is interesting. It happens all the time in whistle-blower scenarios. Real life kinks it up.

Third, nice guys finish last because they think being nice is Kevlar underwear. It's not. An honest and ethical person can be knocked down by an evil SOB. This happens, and it is fine drama. Let your hero take a solid hit for being a hero. Your hero will become more of a hero.
I hope you find this useful.
 

Rechan

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Thanks, that's super helpful and insightful. :)
 

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What if instead of an email she receives a flash drive in the mail. It contains everything but is coded. The first act could be decoding the message. Why code? The whistleblower is trying to save his own skin and not go down with the ship. right vs wrong.
In the end, after Linda has been defeated the whistleblower decides to take responsibility and gives her the missing link but that link incriminates him. But the drug works well. Really well but the 5% that suffer from say... some type of blood disorder or anxiety/depression have terrible side effects. Such as suicide or hemorrhages. Those are the figures and data that has been hidden.
act iii is spent trying to stay alive while delivering the damning evidence to the article/authorities. Think of Snowden on steroids. instead of sitting in a room in Hong Kong (was it HK I don't remember) they are scrambling for their lives. Each stop whether it is at a hacker's underground office, or a cyber cafe slowly constructing the article leads the hitmen closer and closer to them.
it's just what came to mind. I get advice all of the time and maybe I only take one small word from a page of notes and advice but if it is the right word it breaks the block and keeps me going for awhile. good luck.
As far as how does "The Company" knows of her snooping. She get's the info from the flash drive and confronts them directly maybe right after they have been granted FDA approval. Dramatic scene walking down marble steps. One person in the medical study is sick or dead and she simply asks the question, "What about the study omitted. The Company responds with blank looks. Linda reveals, please tell me you remember Mrs. Wilson who is dead. The look on the Company's faces says it all. Make the drug incredible nearly cancer curing so the stakes are high. He or she would definitely remember Mrs. Wilson and the FDA approval would attract media attention almost press worthy clamoring. I just read a John Grisham book about a similar situation called well..."The Whistleblower" Very cool and probably worth a read if you are going to tackle such a topic.
I am writing or rewriting a scene now and the field is way outside my comfort zone or area of expertise. It's about the hierarchy of National Security which is, of course, my problem "National + Security" there is little info available on the web to assist me. My writing suffers as I struggle through the vague secrecy. I guess there is a reason everyone says "write what you know". The poetry comes out when you know it well. When you don't know the topic well and cannot research it, your creativity and writing suffers. Well, that is just my take.