the intentionaly irritating thread

(Oh god why is this so intriguing?)

Of coarse, noone else new it was his last 3 month's. If they did, they would of never left him a minuet of piece and the trouble would of been 10x worse!

The bodys were piling up; and his coworkers didnt seem to care. Acquisition was going great but selling, no one could sell.

(Why does this thread exist...)

Baker had a flashback; he was justa. Child and h is family had abandined himfor a mysteriuous reasonleaving him only the mysteriouis watch he always wore.

His fellow corporate assassin's, were watching the footage of they're last kill.
"It's like knives don't effect him," Butcher laughed, "That guy defiantly ain't dead.!"
"Think of are reputation!" ejaculated Candlestick Maker.
"Your an idiot. Hints why the time travel," exclaimed Butcher twirling his company issued wrist vortex manipulator 2000 tron.

Baker wished from the depths of his deep dark disturbed soul that somebody out there would love him;

(this thread hurts my brain)

Meanwhile miles away.... a pretty cooker was looking out the windo. Snow was eminent and she hopped her flower delivery would be delivered before the blizard made it literally impossible.

That flower meant everything to her. It was hella delicate. And hella expensive. But more than that, it was mysteriously important, the likes of which had never been felt in importance previously, and in a manner that no one really knew, except the cooker, who felt its importance in every magnificent undulating curve of her butternut squash shaped body honed by years of foxy boxing, she thought as she looked at herself in the window's reflection, her pursed pouty lips growing ever more florid, red like the blood that came out of Marie Antoinette's neck hundreds of years ago, sour as the milk from a cow collected in the same year.

"WHERE IS MY FLOWER"!! She screamed to the gray merciless void.

Then she smelled it. She smelled it even as it was enveloped still in the truck, trundling up the driveway with brown angular fatalism. She smiled. It was here.

Her corpse flower.

The copse flower looked niece in her living room, but, this were not it's final resting place. If eveyrthing went According too plan, the flower wood unlock the key to her destiny

The corps flour sudennly squirmed into a face shape and said "Marry Cooker, your destiny is at hand! I have the key! ou will mary a Baker who bakes corpsess!!~!'

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"A Baker whom bakes corpes!" Axed Marrie--"You lay, veil flower. My destiny have bin revealed long ago!"

"Yes." say the flower, "but fates often changes, yet yours did too."

"No:' denyed mayri; "It canot b."

And it did, and so they're lifes has becomed linqed. the baker whom baked corpses; and the women whom make them unappear.

relletyrots said:

"A Baker whom bakes corpes!" Axed Marrie--"You lay, veil flower. My destiny have bin revealed long ago!"

"Yes." say the flower, "but fates often changes, yet yours did too."

"No:' denyed mayri; "It canot b."

And it did, and so they're lifes has becomed linqed. the baker whom baked corpses; and the women whom make them unappear.

Click to expand...

You win. That's just... holy shit!

Butt they're lives were about to change again. Four their came from thee shadows, a nother person: the detective. And he was on their case; ready to bust them; because, he wanteda promotion and he cud only git it if he were to catch big criminals like the Baker and Merrie

The detective pierced relly closelly at the peace a paper wot had tinsy winsy tiny writing onit. Woz so mall his noze was trying to go threw it like a blunt pin. Also, his eyes cud onnee c his knows. The writing what wuz to smal too reed.

He sde end rolled his eyes.

After a gud role, he stealed his gaze and shoved the paper against his nose. The writting was really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really small, but he wood do this. He wood reed the paper.

Maggie Maxwell said:

After a gud role, he stealed his gaze and shoved the paper against his nose. The writting was really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really small, but he wood do this. He wood reed the paper.

Click to expand...

ROFL!

After a minnit the detectif moofed his heid so he cold sneeze. He went ah aa aaa aaaaaaaaachhhhhh~^oo^ooooooooooooioooooooooooop! It wus a reely biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig sneeze cus he was sneezy. Hiz nose wazvset vwey verry verry it cheee still, tho. So he wanned to go achuuu again. But his nose (wich was so yuge he coundlnt sea its' end bud he nee dere was a big zitt on the end cuz it was itchy an he neded two skrach it but had too blough his nose furst so he uzed the please of paper

tHe deetctive cold not read wat the paper, Said anymore,

so ----------------- after p long pouse, he ----------------------- decided; To-Go for walk take a brake, soemwhere Near

OK, y'all - I'm getting nauseous - I hope your happy now!

Carry on...

'your will give me my mony, be-Yotch' Said the Senetar, whom had apeared w/ a furry that was like a 100000000 reigns poooring lik Dragynfyre frome the Dessert.
"POEW THOP!' said the Mannly desective PUNCHING WITH SKILLZ
hurrrrrrgh sad sentarar MOneryhungry. you killd me!
'Servz you rigt. Valr' Llutf'lune Eld'ar'rys​' in elfish.

I found said elfine and slapped hem thrace - and he spoken english a gain.
. . .
Three daze l8r
. . .
I wondered to the store to get some bananas. Most and yucky but I find some really nice green ones.
“Why don’t you try the peaches?”
Her head is on top of the bananas but I don’t see her right away.
. . .
Now about the three days later, I found a twenty dollar bill. It says “Destiny is today.” I feel a very proud smile spread over my tired happy face. I go to the store to buy bananas.
. . .
She smiles at me and I wonder if she likes me. “I’m shy I say slyly.
“She knows my ' ' name.
. . .
“Why don’t you try the peaches.” Over there.
She points over there but I notice a dark mole under her left ear.
I don’t like moles
. . .
The cash register talks to me. “That’ll be twenty dollars”
Thanks. I smile and hand him my twenty.
....
Oh forgot about that ima detecteve - and thatz wen I sawr the deed body.