• Basic Writing questions is not a crit forum. All crits belong in Share Your Work

Character Meeting Other Character

M.C.Statz

Little fish in a big pond
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 11, 2017
Messages
126
Reaction score
14
Let's say you are working from Molly's POV, and Emma comes into the scene. The reader knows Emma very well. Molly has never met Emma. The situation doesn't allow for polite intro ("Gimme the cash or I shoot!"). You don't want to be coy and hide that Emma is Emma, but you're trying to stay in Molly's head. What do you do?
 

mccardey

Self-Ban
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 10, 2010
Messages
19,336
Reaction score
16,111
Location
Australia.
Let's say you are working from Molly's POV, and Emma comes into the scene. The reader knows Emma very well. Molly has never met Emma. The situation doesn't allow for polite intro ("Gimme the cash or I shoot!"). You don't want to be coy and hide that Emma is Emma, but you're trying to stay in Molly's head. What do you do?
Is there a visual clue you could use? Something you've pre-fed the reader, that M would also notice? (A conversational tic would also work.) It can be as in-your-face or as obscure as your style and readers demand.
Good luck with it.
 

sideshowdarb

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 15, 2017
Messages
352
Reaction score
73
A sensory detail will go a long way as mccardey says. Something visual, or maybe audible (jangling jewelry, something like that) the reader associates with Emma.
 

JetFueledCar

tiny hedgehog
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 17, 2015
Messages
1,125
Reaction score
160
Location
Internet native
As said above. By the time we jump out of Emma's head, we should have at least one distinctive cue that will tell us this random stranger who just showed up is Emma. She might be the only redhead we've met, or wear a distinctive necklace, or something--but it's something we recognize her by. We won't necessarily know for sure until she introduces herself, but we won't be surprised when it turns out to be her. And it might even give us more depth to how we see her when we do get confirmation.
 

Jan74

Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 10, 2017
Messages
1,072
Reaction score
136
Location
Canada
A tattoo or something? I read a book where I knew one of the mc husbands was cheating with another mc daughter only because of the belly piercing. Could be something subtle a birthmark etc.
 

MAS

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 28, 2011
Messages
234
Reaction score
23
If it truly is from Molly's POV, and Molly wouldn't have noticed Emma, then perhaps it doesn't matter whether Emma is brought to the attention of the reader within the context of the Molly-POV scene. Is there a way, in the immediately previous scene (Emma's POV, presumably) that Emma could establish that she'll be there? [e.g. "I'm going over to the First National Bank now, George. See you in a few," Emma called over her shoulder as she walked out the door.] If it's necessary that the reader recognize Emma, even though Molly doesn't, then I agree with the comments above, give Emma something recognizable and distinctive [e.g. "Going to the bank now, George," Emma said, checking the tilt of her orange and yellow polka-dot beret in the mirror before sailing out the front door. (And then Molly notices the woman in the polka-dot beret as she's standing in line at the bank.)]
 

BethS

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Dec 21, 2005
Messages
11,708
Reaction score
1,763
Let's say you are working from Molly's POV, and Emma comes into the scene. The reader knows Emma very well. Molly has never met Emma. The situation doesn't allow for polite intro ("Gimme the cash or I shoot!"). You don't want to be coy and hide that Emma is Emma, but you're trying to stay in Molly's head. What do you do?

You have to describe Emma as Molly would see her--her appearance, speech, and actions. This is not being coy and hiding Emma from the reader; it's staying true to Molly's POV.
 

Bufty

Where have the last ten years gone?
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 9, 2005
Messages
16,768
Reaction score
4,663
Location
Scotland
You have to describe Emma as Molly would see her--her appearance, speech, and actions. This is not being coy and hiding Emma from the reader; it's staying true to Molly's POV.

+1 And if readers are familiar with Emma's manner, speech patterns, dress etc.. and already know she is in the vicinity, they will quickly twig it's Emma - and possibly well before Molly learns who it is, and also even if she never does.

I remember recently reading something using this technique extremely effectively. :Hug2:
 
Last edited:

M.C.Statz

Little fish in a big pond
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 11, 2017
Messages
126
Reaction score
14
Thanks for the advice everyone