The Cantina Staring Back At You From The Abyss

jallenecs said:

SOOOOOOO PRETTY!!! See, this is my problem. I'm on a crochet sub on Reddit, and the same thing happens there, too. I see pretty project and it's, "Oh, Me Want!" and it lands on my future projects mountain. It doesn't grow as fast as my Books to Read mountain, but I can whittle down the book pile faster, at least.

Daughter and I talked about doing an Etsy shop, but it's a ton of work, and we're not sure we're ready to jump into that yet.

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LOL, I think all crafters have that problem. XD I have the yarn set aside for two sweaters whose patterns I've had since 2012. I've determined I'm getting at least one of them made this winter, though, even if I have to alternate it with working on the Sophie blanket.

That's a wise choice to wait. I've seen too many sellers start a shop because everyone around them said they should, only to end up quitting later because they weren't ready for the commitment or just plain didn't plan ahead far enough. If and when you do think you might want to open a shop, be sure you read the Seller Handbook, the link to which can be found under "Sell" at the bottom of Etsy's homepage. You'd be amazed how many people don't know it exists but there's lots of info in it about how Etsy works.

And for the love of all that is beautiful be VERY DISCERNING if you look at the Etsy forums. Sometimes you can get good advice there, and Etsy admins post info about site updates and such in the Announcements area, but unfortunately, it's also become a semi-negative place where rumors fly with little fact to back it up. I've stopped bothering to look at anything there besides the announcements because I got tired of feeling like I couldn't ask a question without getting a dose of negativity along with the more helpful answers...*if* I got helpful answers. Since I still need advice now and then, I searched around and discovered a lovely lady named Starla Moore who has a YouTube channel with Etsy seller advice as well as her FB group called the "Handmade Alpha Facebook Community" where you can ask for advice sans the negativity. You can even join the group before you have a shop. The members are more than willing advise you during the process of creating a shop so you can start strong. I've gone to them for advice more than once and they haven't failed me yet.

TedTheewen said:

I've always wanted to learn how to crochet. I know a guy who learned in prison and during the holidays he does special requests on the side for cash. It's profitable for him. I've also wanted to learn how to knit so I can make myself a Doctor Who scarf.

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BHooked Crochet & Knitting on YouTube has both knit and crochet tutorials that I've learned a lot from. https://www.youtube.com/user/bhookedcrochet

Re the Doctor Who scarf, I've always found it hilarious that it's so long because the woman they hired to make it thought she was supposed to use ALL the yarn. So she did.



New words didn't happen yesterday, but I did get some beta readers on board for my short story. I really, Really, REALLY need to go open my dang document and force myself to confront the place I'm stuck on, so like I did last week, I'm saying here that I'm getting offline now and will not be back on until well after lunch. (Hey, it worked last time!)

My classes aren’t going as well as I’d hoped. My stress level is maxed out, and I’m alternating between rage and despair. And apparently this is my life now. I’m just angry and exhausted all the time.

EFB - Etsy does indeed look like a lot of work to do right.

JJ Litke - Dang... that doesn't sound right at all. I don't suppose there's anyone you can talk to about adjusting the course load?

Tuesday morning, and I had a nice, indulgent snooze-in. Now I need to catch up on some site stuff that I let slide because I was focused on the Sequel. I'm also reading a new book. It's very different, though I'm still deciding if I'm going to commit to reading the whole thing; some odd vibes that I'm not certain will end up being repelling or not. Haven't hit the 10% mark yet, which is generally my threshold; if I can make it that far, I usually stick it out.

Away I wander.

Hugs to you, too zanz.

zanzjan said:

I've been a state of almost total overwhelm for so long that I'm not sure I can remember what it feels like to *not* be overwhelmed. And I don't see any way that this is going to get better any soon.

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Right? I don’t know if I’d even be capable of figuring out what to do if I did have spare time.

Tuesday afternoon, a gray and wet day, and I officially gave up on that book. I wanted to like it - it had some nice, original ideas - but when I realized I truly despised every character except maybe the robots, I decided to pull the plug. They weren't even interestingly messed up people. They were just unpleasantly messed up. Eh, well... more on the pile. Should get back to my "extra credit" reading challenge, maybe. Or just grab a quick palate cleanser.

Did one round of exercising, and thinking I should probably do a second round, because too much snacking lately. (Had another Cheez-It craving a few days ago, dang it.) Also it would let me watch another Expanse episode before I have to start dinner.

JJ Litke said:

My classes aren’t going as well as I’d hoped. My stress level is maxed out, and I’m alternating between rage and despair. And apparently this is my life now. I’m just angry and exhausted all the time.

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That's horrible. I'm sorry you're dealing with that. Isn't there anything that can be done?

zanzjan said:

I've been a state of almost total overwhelm for so long that I'm not sure I can remember what it feels like to *not* be overwhelmed. And I don't see any way that this is going to get better any soon.

Ice cream has become a survival necessity, lacking any better longer-term options.

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Did somebody shine the Ted signal into the night sky?

You know, if you were closer, I'd hook you up to the point you would have to tap out. If for some reason you're passing through on another book tour, please let me know.


EFB...I didn't know that story about the scarf but I like it.

I'm working on my next video right now. So far, so good.

Since There Have Been Woes (really sorry people ), thought I'd share mine. Hafta talk to my manager tomorrow about how his constant 140 decibel verbal abuse is edging towards physical abuse, and that's just gonna be peaches.

Yell it at him, under the reasonable assumption that he talks loud because he's going deaf himself.
I'm sorry you're going through this, and having to do the confrontation yourself.

Kjbartolotta - That sounds potentially troublesome... good luck! Hopefully you have documentation (maybe even recordings), Just In Case.

Tuesday evening, and everything's ready for work tomorrow except resetting the alarm. Which I should do while I'm thinking of it.

Did that second round of exercise, hoping it helps. Did dinner, washed dishes, and started another book. (I actually also started a graphic novel, but nuked it. Hate it when stories mistake confusion for tension... yeah, you keep cutting to different people in weird situations and then cutting away before anything actually happens, can I at least get a hint that there's something - anything - to tie them all together and make me care? Gah...)

About time to wind down the day with some spitballing. Should start working on another story, or see if there's any calls for subs that match anything in my heap of ideas and half-finished efforts. Having a target does seem to help.)

Okay, I finally got some feedback on a project, and it’s not as dire as I was afraid. Then an online meeting with another instructor, and I’m back to feeling like I can get through this. I mean, it’s still a shit ton of work, but I’ll handle it. Thanks for the concern, everyone.

Maybe I can even figure out how to get in beta and writing time. In another week or two.

Kjbartolotta said:

Since There Have Been Woes (really sorry people ), thought I'd share mine. Hafta talk to my manager tomorrow about how his constant 140 decibel verbal abuse is edging towards physical abuse, and that's just gonna be peaches.

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Whoa!

That sounds just awful.


I got my pneumonia vaccine yesterday and I've been achy all day. Tomorrow will be better.

It's a disheartening situation. Probably not about to break out in fistfights just yet, but getting to the point where there's been escalation. The thing that makes me mad is that someone who just quit claimed the manager assaulted them, but the kid who said it had kind of a fibbing problem. But it's all in that gray area where you feel like you're being threatened, and nothing ever actually happens (until it does). Dunno, people like this always crumple when you stand up to them (like he did when I confronted him the first time), but he'll definitely use his authority against me and I can't really count on support. Or he'll just try to slime around me and pretend to be nice till the pattern repeats itself. (thx for letting me complain everyone )

Had an appointment for my tiny eye volcano issue yesterday. (warning: DON'T read on if eye stuff is squicky for you)

To recap: I got an eye infection back in July when travelling, apparently instigated by some yet un-identified allergy and the opthalmologist described the effect on my eyes as tiny volcanoes. It came back in August when at home and then AGAIN last week when I'm once again abroad.)

Things haven't improved since my very first visit as the tiny eye volcanoes have only grown in number (the fact that it took five days after the 'eruption' to get an appointment may not have helped.) So instead of just the tiny eye volcanoes I now have the equivalent of the Ring of Fire around my irisses. Joy.

So my eyes got seriously prodded andI've returned with NINE different medecines for infections and allergies. We're moving up, since the first course had only seven medecines. Hah hah.

And just in case the tiny eye volcanoes decide to do an encore after this course of antibiotics, I got prescpriptions to take for the next four months! And a suggestion I get allergy testing because the doc was scratching his head at the idea of an allergy that strikes so quickly both at home and abroad and only affects my eyes and me having no other infection that could account for a quick re-infection. Joy. I guess that puts swimming pools and blood donations out of the question until next year.

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ALLERGY!?

Ahem, here endeth the squicky eye stuff.

On a totally different note, may I just say how impressed I am with all the crocheting stuff. It's marvelous, you lot are very talented people.

jallenecs said:

The part I'm proudest of? I walked all the way over to my sister's house; no wheelchair, no stopping halfway to rest, I made it the whole way without help! I was hella out of breath afterwards, but still, go me!

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Oh hey, that's great news!

Religion0 said:

Thank you all so much for your condolences. It means a lot to me.

Does anyone have any... experience or advice dealing with the anger that comes as part of grieving? I'm currently angry more or less constantly, which is understandable and natural and it's not affecting my behavior too much (so I defenestrated a couple of eggs, big deal), but I just don't know what to do with it.

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Not sure if helps but I got some relief out of chanelling my anger into something constructive by being destructive. Like chopping wood. Like clearing out the basement and deconstructing everything that is not recycable in that form or too big to carry by yourself with a claw hammer. (Also, wear decent gloves, unlike me.) Best to do in short bursts because being angry all the time is surprisingly tiring and you don't want to end up with half of your basement dragged outside in tiny bits when the energy leaves you and you no longer have the energy required to clean up after yourself and you just get angrier with resenting the resulting mess.

Whacking a water-warped drawer cabinet with a hammer into tiny loose planks and then having a cup of tea in front of a blazing woodstove fire that evening with that timber can be oddly catharthic.

But it won't make the anger go away, just... melt at the edges a little? It may just have to run its course.

JJ Litke said:

My classes aren’t going as well as I’d hoped. My stress level is maxed out, and I’m alternating between rage and despair. And apparently this is my life now. I’m just angry and exhausted all the time.

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zanzjan said:

I've been a state of almost total overwhelm for so long that I'm not sure I can remember what it feels like to *not* be overwhelmed. And I don't see any way that this is going to get better any soon.

Ice cream has become a survival necessity, lacking any better longer-term options.

Click to expand...

Kjbartolotta said:

Since There Have Been Woes (really sorry people ), thought I'd share mine. Hafta talk to my manager tomorrow about how his constant 140 decibel verbal abuse is edging towards physical abuse, and that's just gonna be peaches.

Click to expand...

Yikes!

Brightdreamer said:

Did that second round of exercise, hoping it helps. Did dinner, washed dishes, and started another book. (I actually also started a graphic novel, but nuked it. Hate it when stories mistake confusion for tension... yeah, you keep cutting to different people in weird situations and then cutting away before anything actually happens, can I at least get a hint that there's something - anything - to tie them all together and make me care? Gah...)

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Maybe they thought 'well, it worked for Heroes...'

Oh Ted, I just had the most delicous home-made lemon and wild menthe ice cream yesterday and thought of you.

Friendly Frog - I think it's time to consult a vulcanologist about those persistent eye volcanoes... best of luck with the latest round of meds!

Wednesday morning, gray and damp out there, and getting ready to head off to work. I'll probably end up shopping my way home again, though I might be able to put it off until tomorrow. (It's getting into tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwich... may do that one of these nights.) And the new read hasn't turned me off yet, so I'm pretty sure I'll stick with it.

About time to get the jacket and shoes on, I guess.

Self-creepification achieved!

So I was getting ready to write this morning, and on a whim went to YouTube to find some background music. I didn't find any background music to tempt me, but I stumbled across a sound effects channel (I kept track of a lot of these when I was doing the audio drama thing). This is an ASMR-type thing, eight hours of "soothing" sound effects, rainstorm, babbling brook, forest sounds, you get the idea; they're so long because people put them on as white noise to sing them to sleep or something.

Anyway, the one I found was train sounds. My story is set on a train! Score, right?

It's a SCARY story set on a train. Score?

I, a sound-oriented imagination, have train sounds in my ears, trying to imagine seriously scary stuff. Yeah, you can guess the rest. Middle of the morning, beautiful sunshine streaming in the windows, and I managed to spook myself. The dog suddenly jumped down off the sofa, and I jumped plumb out of my skin!

[/QUOTE]Oh Ted, I just had the most delicous home-made lemon and wild menthe ice cream yesterday and thought of you. [/QUOTE]


That's so sweet! Thank you!


So, I made a series of mistakes last night while making my video, so I'm trying to decide if I'm going to re-shoot it or just go with it.

I'm at a crossroads in my life and I need to make some huge changes. So, I'm getting back on keto. Not much choice in the matter, either. The real trick is leaving the ice cream I make alone and getting it out of the apartment quickly.

Don't you just love it when you get to the exciting bit of the story, and instead of having to struggle for the words, you suddenly can't type fast enough to keep up? Love that part!

Junely, me too. I love getting lost in a story.

Finished! My first short story since before my mother died. It's not a great piece of work, but it's finished, and I know i can still do it.

Yay!

That's wonderful, Junely!

You know, a friend and I are going to both write a short story for a call for subs I found a bit ago. I'd been looking for something to write for and I found one. It's a small press and won't pay crap, but it's something worth doing and the process alone will help me get back into writing shape.

Oh, and I churned the sweet corn with cinnamon ice cream. Despite my screw-ups, it tastes amazing, so I might keep the footage and use it after all. I'm not sure.

Good afternoon, Cantina.

I wish I had more vacation days left. A long weekend off would do me some good, especially since I'm getting low on work, but alas, I only have two remaining, and I'm saving those in case I need to take a sick day.

Mergh... work...

So we're officially out of empty totes to spare for libraries to put books in to send to us. The one tech has given instructions that complaints should be forwarded to HR, because it's HR's fault that we're so chronically understaffed we cannot hope to catch up and create a nice surplus of empty totes. Seems more than fair to me.

In other words: do not ask how many we started with, or how many we ended with, because completion has become one of those theoretical concepts that can never actually exist in our reality. And, again, we were short staffed, meaning a tech had to be pulled from doing their job to help us sort books. This does not help anyone at any level of the library, from patron to the board of directors, and yet it seems preferable to actually hiring enough people to do the frellin' job.

Gah. Sorry. /rant

Had to shop my way home again, so I grabbed deli fried chicken for dinner. At least I won't have to cook.

And I got myself an early b-day present when I saw a little plastic dragon skeleton in the Halloween section. I have the normal bone-colored one from last year, but this one was black with aurora wash on the wings. I think he needs a little more aurora color elsewhere; the body is just shiny black. But there were only two left, and I know if I told family they would've been long gone. (Played that game too often.)

Yes, I'm easily pleased.

(Also got myself a discounted mini brownie, because long work day and finished story earlier this week and to heck with everything I wanted a danged brownie.)

Anyway, just chilling and trying to decompress. Shoulders sore from overwork.

And the sibling now has a very sore side. We think she just wrenched something when she fell a couple days ago; like whiplash, it took a while to show up. At least, we hope it's that. If it gets too bad I think she'll have to get looked at, but it's probably just an overtaxed muscle and they can't do anything for that; it's not like she landed on anything that would've done deep damage, I think. (Again, I didn't see the fall.)

It's always something...

You get totes?
Back in the day when I worked in a library, we had to use liquor boxes, picked up from a nearby liquor store!
A steady stream of innocent, underage, teenage girl pages would walk into the store for box pick-up, to be greeted by the same smart-ass at the back of the store:
"I know what you're here for!" he would trill, as we hunched our shoulders in shame, hoping that everyone would realize that we were only there for the empty boxes.
Recycling? We invented recycling!