The Cantina Staring Back At You From The Abyss

Hi Cantina!

I had a rough day yesterday and today I woke up angry, which wasn't good, and I wanted to snap on everybody at work. It was tough holding it together. But now that I'm off work and everything I get to figure out what to have for dinner because that's always such a difficult thing for me to decide upon. Like, seriously, why is something so simple such a difficult task?

Part of me wants to just go get a box of doughnuts, sit down at my computer, and go nuts. But those are bad thoughts and I shouldn't be having them even though I can feel my need for fried dough rolled in sugar growing exponentially. Perhaps even chocolate frosted and filled with custard. Bad thoughts.

So I'm working on trying to figure out what I want. It's not easy.

But I'll also get back to editing soon. I realize why the ending of my novel was so straight-line/linear/flat. I know what it needs. I think I figured it out. This video gave me some ideas and I realized what my end fight was missing. Yes, it's about video, but it's totally applicable for writing and in fact, seems to be more about writing than anything else. So if your fight scenes seem a bit flat or your ending battles are missing something, this short video might help, because it helped me.

Anyways, have a good one!

Thanks MaeZe and Froggy. I'll edit in the change.

Sorry about your rough day, Ted. *hugs*


Grammy is officially getting hospice care as of yesterday. The OT and PT both signed off on her as not improving. They can't get her out of bed. It's a sad thing, but hopefully it may be a good thing for my aunt so she can get a break from caretaking sometimes.

I'm sorry. But let's hope something good comes from this.

I'm getting ready to shoot video right now. My goal is to get it posted by Tuesday night or Wednesday. We'll see how it goes.

Wow, it's been a long time since I posted here.

I still lurk, though. In the interim, I've had another loss. My cat Angie, one of the sweetest and most chill kitties I've ever had the pleasure of being human family to, died back in the middle of June, due to kidney failure. She was 19 years old.

We're in the middle of a big change for the house. The kitchen and soon the back bathroom are being remodeled because of some piping issues. Kitchen's already got cabinets in again, and it's looking good so far. It also means that I don't have a kitchen until everything's done.

On the writing front, after the personal R I got from Tor.com, I tweaked it a bit and the cover letter, and sent it back out to Fantasy and Science Fiction magazine a little bit ago. I've also finished the summary into scene for The Rod of Years, and am doing beta trades for it (already got a few promising swaps lined up). I'm also working on an older YA fantasy project that I've been meaning to finish for years. It's gonna be a guesstimate of upwards of 50k folks, that'd be my longest so far.

However, at the moment, I'm currently on a big writing break until the 7th, because of my faith's most holy days are upon us. Tomorrow is the start of our new year, and with it, the goddess of the year is Sekhmet as Nesret. Hold onto your butts, it's gonna get hectic. If anyone wants, I can post the link to the public oracle. After the 7th, I intend on diving into the betas and getting back into my work.

So yeah, hugs to people who need it, and a happy Wep Ronpet (Ancient Egyptian New Year) to all of you.

Oh Siwyenbast. I'm sorry about Angie. My cat, Frank, is getting older (13), but he's an outdoor/indoor cat who pulls all sorts stunts. Yet, he's starting to show signs of his age. Just writing about pets aging/passing on hurts the heart. But I'm truly sorry about your kitty.

All the *hugs* for you, Siwyenbast. Kitties are special friends and it's so hard to lose one. Best wishes on the remodeling and your submission to F&SF!



Morning, Cantina. We got the outer bands of Hurricane Isaias overnight, but it was nothing but rain. 2.9 inches of rain to be precise. Started around 5pm-ish and lasted until right around 8am.

I got an R from Strange Horizons on Sunday, which wasn't unexpected. Didn't figure my fluffy, funny, little flash fic about a fantasy being in quarantine would float their boats, but gave it a shot anyway. Now, however, I'm super unsure where to send it next. Apex is next on the Grinder's list of paying mags but they seem to want dark/surreal stuff and that's not what this story is at all.

Cast of Wonders was one I was looking at previously, but they don't open for subs again until November.

There's what appears to be a brand new ezine for YA stories of any genre called "Voyage" that might be a possibility and says it's open year round, but I'm nervous about the thought of subbing to an untested mag. I did start a thread asking about it in Bewares, though, so if anyone has a moment to take a look and share thoughts, I'd appreciate the input. https://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?347120-Voyage-ezine

I'm sorry about your cat Siwyenbast. Good luck with renovations.

EFB, I keep forgetting about Grinder. I'm trying to get back into short stories once again. Once I get my novel edited that's what I'll jump on.

Today is my Friday. I was so exhausted after work that I took a nap right after and now I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep tonight. I hope I will, anyways.

I'm procrastinating bigtime today.

Hi, Cantina.

I'm revising fantasy novels and looking through 35 years of poetry in prep for releasing a self-pub poetry book. Turns out I wrote a *lot* of poetry, between songs and book art text. Probably won't make much $ but it could be fun.

My shoulder is slowly healing from a strain 6 weeks ago. Not sure if I'm excited or terrified to go back to day job. We have idiots who can't figure out how to wear masks.
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I can so relate to your poor sweet kitty, Siwyenbast.

Sigh. My dogs just aren't getting back to normal. One throws up then gets better when the other one has diarrhea. The diarrhea gets better and the other one starts throwing up again.

I have no clue if it's their new diet mandated because one has no teeth left, or the antibiotics they finished a week ago or something else. I put them back on their old food this morning and they wouldn't eat it.

I waited and the one that shouldn't eat a large amount (the vomiting thing) ate both bowls.

I'm going to stick with their old food for a while.

On a more positive note, I got caught up on my eBay listings and I'm halfway through a tedious work assignment straightening out some vaccine records. I'm 1/3 through a beta read and if I get this work done tomorrow I can finish the rest this week end.

I'm sorry about the dogs, MaeZe. I had a dog jump up in my van today. I went to visit a friend on her farm and her dogs were happy to see me. The smallest one just jumped right in as soon as I opened my door like he was my bestest buddy and wanted to go on a road trip with me. It was adorable.

I got hooked up with all kinds of goodies at her farm, too. I found out that driving around with a box of freshly cut herbs, like basil, thyme, and oregano, make for the best air freshener. Plus I made a ton of pesto, and it came out amazing, which means it's going on a pizza on Friday. I take some in to the local pizza place and they make a pizza with it instead of the red sauce for me. It's an annual thing I do.

Plus, I got hooked up with rhubarb, which I love.

Right now I'm going to get back to editing. It's my day off and I did a bunch of running around and had a good day. I needed that.

Morning, Cantina. We had some storms go through last night that made it rain harder than when the hurricane went through. Hurricane gave us 2.9 inches of rain and zero mess. The storms last night gave us 4 inches and while I haven't been out there yet, mom says the street must have been a river because the bottom of the driveway is almost washed out to the point we'll be lucky to be able to get out and there are rocks and chunks of pavement in the street that must have washed down from elsewhere. Guess we're lucky the wind didn't pick up or trees may have come down just by virtue of the ground being saturated. We may get more rain tonight.


In random internet news, this story about a recipe from Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild accidentally ending up in a historical fiction book due to a research slip is pretty funny. At least the author seems to be handling it well. https://www.ign.com/articles/zelda-...identally-appears-in-historical-fiction-novel

That's a lot of rain! I hope getting around isn't too difficult.

I got cancelled on tonight. Ghosted, really. Until they decided to get back to me and let me know they decided to do their own thing tonight instead of having dinner with me like we planned. I guess I know how important I am to them now.

I've been editing and I'll get back to it after I make dinner.

I hope all are well.

That was a rotten thing to do, Ted, especially not letting you know 'til afterwards. I say you should cut off their ice-cream privileges.

Would love to take some rain off your hands if I could, EFB, we're going for a code red heat wave this weekend. Must look serious enough if they even relaxed the COVID-curfew for it.

Aw, Ted. I agree with frimble, such a rotten thing to do! At least you haven't been sitting with a full diner ready before they deigned to let you know of their changed plans.

thank you! And yes, I do believe they are going to lose their ice cream privileges. We had an arrangement, I made plans, and they waited until after the designated time to tell me they made other plans. And even then, only after I reached out to them to ask what's going on. That's not right.

So, no ice cream for them for a while. And I'm going to post some amazing food pron just to rub it in. I deserve better.

I'm making good progress with editing. But I think tonight I'm going to have to work on my application for a promotion at work. Some positions opened up due to expansion and I was invited to apply. My supervisor sort of made it sound like a given that I would be applying. We'll see how it goes, right?

Religion0 said:

GD, yeowch. Those are some bad working conditions. That's a bad interpretation of an open office plan, but at least you have a desk, my aunt needs to carry all her papers everywhere and back and forth because no one has a set desk or office (not even her boss) and she's not actually allowed to have noise cancelling headphones. I get so stressed just hearing that.

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I would not survive like that. In fact, each day is stressful for me in this place. I've got four interviews in the next week for something else. Three of the four are remote, at least 90% if not 100% of the time. Cross your fingers! One would involve moving to Maine, which would make Mr. Dragon very happy, as his family and his native cultural events are there. Also, his medicine is 100% legal there. Wish me luck!

TedTheewen said:

I have plum ice cream base chilling in the fridge right now and I'll churn it either late tonight or tomorrow.

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Mmmm plum ice cream! That reminds me it's been a long time since I've treated myself to my favorite Arizone iced tea - Plum Green Tea with ginseng and honey.

TedTheewen said:

I'm pondering making some pepperoni rolls, also. While I've never been to West Virginia, I saw them on tv and just had to try them, so I made some a few years ago. They turned out pretty well. So the other day I found a bunch of pepperoni sticks on sale cheap and scarfed them up. I think I need to do some stress-baking as well. Either way, there will be good food rolling out of this kitchen.

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I've lived in WV, and a good pepperoni roll is amazing. Cheese with the pepperoni, a good garlicy, soft bread, some marinara for dipping...

E.F.B. said:

Second meeting of crit group happened last night and technology is annoying. Because of my dad's unaddressed paranoia/anxiety stuff I can't do video chat with anyone outside of my family. Honestly, I can't even tell him I'm in a crit group (or tell him how much I communicate with people online in general) because I'm pretty darned positive he'd have issues with the communication with "strangers" factor, especially since some of them are male. And he might even be worried about them stealing my work or something and oh we've got to go get it copyrighted to "protect" it and... yeah, not worth it.


My crit group was hoping we could "meet" this time by using a video chat format that would let them talk verbally while I talk via chat box, an idea I was 100% fine with. Unfortunately, dumb FB chat was being difficult on my computer, so I tried it on my phone and the freaking thing BROADCASTED THE OTHERS TALKING REALLY LOUDLY despite my earbuds being plugged in AND my phone's system sounds being turned off!!! GAAAAAAAHHHHHH! Thank goodness no one said my name in the 10-ish seconds it took to figure out how to end the call because dad was sitting two feet away and could hear the whole freaking thing. I told him I'd accidentally opened a YouTube notification for a live stream show I watch every Tuesday (the latter of which is true) and he bought it. STUPID PHONE!!! I could go my whole life without experiencing that level of freakout again.


We ended up using Google docs to chat and add to any critique we had for each other's stories so it wouldn't disappear so fast like on FB text chat. It worked, and has the bonus of us being able to save all that feedback, but it was hard for some to adjust, and one of our new members couldn't even get in.


*crawls under a smibble pile*

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EFB, that sounds so stressful Our group uses googledocs and live zoom, but several people are on audio only, and some just go into the googledocs to make suggestions. The organizer than emails each of us with our comment document (transferred into Word) after a few days. It's been working since March! I think more people make comments on googledocs as it's less confrontational.

JJ Litke said:

EFB, it's a little worrisome to me that you aren't allowed to talk to people outside of your family. In current circumstances, that's effectively cutting you off from all other people. Even if you're willing to tolerate that, can't you go into another room so he can't interfere?

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I was thinking this as well. PLEASE, be safe, and recognize that he's emotionally manipulating you. There's only so much you can cater to his paranoia.

TedTheewen said:

I got cancelled on tonight. Ghosted, really. Until they decided to get back to me and let me know they decided to do their own thing tonight instead of having dinner with me like we planned. I guess I know how important I am to them now.

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I agree - very rude!!


I've been re-writing the first book in my series (Legacy of Hunger), in anticipation of me getting it back from my publisher in October. I've been playing with ideas for new book covers, as well, and gearing up to record the audiobook. I'm just about finished with the re-write, and two chapters (out of 20) in to the line-by-line-grammar edits. I'm doing the same for Better to Have Loved, my first novel. I've gotten through the re-writing and LBLG edits, and have created a new cover. Just waiting on one more beta reader to start recording. I hope to have that re-released sometimes in the next month or so.

I'm also embarking on a re-write of the blurbs for each published book, and working through Mark Dawson's Ads for Authors videos, to try to market properly.

My Taming of the Few is going through edits, but I'm not yet to the final stages. I need more of the above out of the way before I can consider starting a new project. I'm debating the second book of Time Tourist Outfitters, the second book of Past Storm and Fire, or the second book to Taming of the Few.

Perhaps if I can get these going, I won't NEED a day job! (Right).

Hey, everyone. How are you?

I've been okay. Long story short....I hate my twenties and I hate school work. I feel extreme anxiety and depression just thinking about having to start school again. Most of it will be online but the drive from home to the school is 1 hour away! That sucks! My medicine might just need to be adjusted, though.

In much better news...

I've decided to write a prequel to my MG superhero series. The prequel will be based off the founder of the organization when she was a kid. Issue is... I've fallen madly in love with the prequel's MC. I want more of her. I know she'll be in the main series as a adult non-POV character, but I need to be in her mysterious wonderful head more. AHHHH!!! I want a whole series dedicated to her... but I don't know how that would work. Anyways, I can't wait to write the prequel!!!

@ Ted - Curse you. Now I want pizza!

I think a lot of us are feeling extreme stress and anxiety right now. I know I am. Its infecting my ability to be productive right now, and I'm not writing even though I really want to.

greendragon-- Thank you! I wish I could have you try one to let me know what you think once I make them. I've worked in pizza places for years but pepperoni rolls are a different animal because the dough is soft and a bit sweet.

I love plums but yes, they are very Asian. The Japanese have some amazing plum varieties that grow there. I bought more plums tonight and I'm really hoping I got the red kind because they look better on video.

Last night I made a plum custard ice cream and churned it today. It's wonderful. I have a video of it on my Twitter page.

Second Moon--I have a pizza in the oven right now. It's a take n' bake that I doctored up with giardinera and extra cheese.

I have so much to do tonight and I'm running out of time. After dinner I'm going to work on some things but I really want to get back to editing. I've got momentum and I'd like to keep that. But my supervisor is on me about getting my application in for the promotion. I got the feeling it's one of those things that's already a done deal and I just have to agree to it. Like the last promotion a few months ago.

That's it, I'm having pizza tonight.

LOL, I had pizza last night and hadn't even caught up on the thread yet. Seems Cantinites's stomachs think alike. XD

*hugs* for those experiencing anxiety and stress.

In not so great news: Da lab pup's front right foot is bothering her. There's no visible injury but it's sore enough she's not happy about us touching it and she doesn't want to run and play as is her daily habit. We're worried enough we're making an appointment with the nearby emergency vet this afternoon/evening to get them to look at it. Hopefully it's just a sprain, (goodness knows she bounces around enough that could happen) but we don't want to ignore it and risk that maybe there's a thorn or cut or something we can't see and have it end up infected.


In nature is weird news: We've discovered pawpaw trees growing at the edge of the woods. They're native to the area, but we've sure never had any before. They also grow in colonies, spread by root systems, and grow REALLY fast, so we don't really get a vote as to whether we want them there here or not. Well, at least they grow edible fruit.

We also discovered a couple jack-in-the-pulpit plants that weren't previously there that we know of. They're down in the lower part of the woods where we think there may have once been a little stream. It stays damp there and when it rains really hard the water runs through it a bit like a stream again, which is probably why they like it there. Wood thrushes specifically like their berries (after the insect-eating part of the plant dies off, it produces a cluster of berries) and since our wood thrush population has been increasing (which makes me happy because I love their beautiful song ) that may be how they got planted. That may also be why the wood thrushes are being friendlier this year. In past years we've only heard them high up in the trees. They start singing in mid spring and slowly move farther away as the summer goes on until they leave for the winter. But this year they've been staying close to our house and even coming down where we can see them. Occasionally they've even landed in the backyard to eat bugs. They must be keeping an eye on those yummy berries.

EFB. I'm sorry about the puppy. I always heat it when an animal isn't feeling well.

My internet is out right now because of the storm that blew through. Luckily the tornado was only a few miles north of me. The worst of it went around us but just to my north and south they had hail and all kinds of trees are down.

I have wild raspberries cooking down on my stove right now and they look great so I can't wait to use them. This means I get to use my new toy. A couple weeks ago I bought a strainer and I finally get to use it so I'm very happy.

I actually logged out a couple hours early because my internet went out and so I'm hoping it gets back on tomorrow so I can work my shift from home. We'll find out.

I put my application in for the promotion today. I skipped over a position but I figure since they're the ones who told me I should apply and they didn't tell me which position to apply for it's their fault. If they really like me all that much then they'll give me the position.

I hope everybody is doing well. I know there are some wicked storms blowing through the country in certain areas. But I think tonight is going to be a good night for editing.

The vet said they didn't see visible signs of injury or infection and thinks da lab pup just bruised or lightly sprained something playing as vigorously as she does. So, we've been told to make sure she rests the leg for the rest of the week. *looks at the dog with kong in mouth and a play face* Uh... let's hope it doesn't take that long.

We had to give da pup a bath as soon as we got home because she emanates a skunky smell when she's stressed. She didn't enjoy the bath part, but loves being dried off, silly girl. Now she smells fresh and clean.

Ugh, a lot of rough times for Cantina pets. Hang in there, everyone.

Rosa have had a few days with no to few potty accidents, so it's looking better. Still slow. Oh! I gave both the puppies hair cuts! Me, myself and my brother helping me hold them on the ironing board. And also the pro-grade trimmer I had to get to cut through the mats they had formed. Yowzers.
I had a case of heat exhaustion a few days ago, that was not fun. Strangely delayed, though, the worst symptoms came about that evening. Been drinking a lot of ayran since then to stay hydrated. I've been very sweaty and heat sensitive since, which has not been fun.

greendragon said:

I would not survive like that. In fact, each day is stressful for me in this place. I've got four interviews in the next week for something else. Three of the four are remote, at least 90% if not 100% of the time. Cross your fingers! One would involve moving to Maine, which would make Mr. Dragon very happy, as his family and his native cultural events are there. Also, his medicine is 100% legal there. Wish me luck!

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I know, I have no idea how she does it. It sounds like the least productive most disruptive workplace in the world. Hope you get one of those good jobs.

E.F.B. said:

In nature is weird news: We've discovered pawpaw trees growing at the edge of the woods.

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Pawpaw?!