The Cantina Staring Back At You From The Abyss

*waves to various people*

Tuesday evening, and getting stuff ready for work tomorrow. There's talk of wind and rain moving in for the rest of the week, which might threaten power... and we just got caught up at work after the last disasters. Eh, well - Kindle and cell phone are charged.

Today was reasonably productive. Blew off my second round of exercise (not entirely my fault; Mom was taking a nap, so I didn't want to disturb her stomping around in my room too much), but I did make some course progress. (Doing a Python intro course because it's something I haven't done before; will probably end up circling back to Javascript or something if keep doing these things, but the point was to break out of the brain box... plus the Intro to Programming used Python, so I thought I'd keep doing that for a bit as I figure out the parts of programming syntax and crud. After this, I'm eyeing something on learning how to think to design a program to begin with, which looks suspiciously useful to someone who still isn't quite sure how to get from Idea to Solution.)

Also picked a few potential market targets for shorts. Now I just need to write and/or polish up some shorts to fire off...

I'm getting mixed signals on whether I'm going to be able to take my car in for its oil change/steering rack fix next week. Will probably have to put it off yet another week just in case my car is needed, but I'm getting a little miffed at being expected to be transportation when the sibling has a functioning car and literally nothing else to do... mergh. I really want to get the thing serviced before the weather goes completely crappy, and I'm also a little paranoid about the battery; it's supposed to be good for another year, but I've been hearing of batteries dying a year early lately, and given my luck...

Eh, well.

Off to spitball, then time to read and go to sleep. (Hopefully, tonight I won't sleep with my entire body weight on my neck for some ungodsly reason... dunno what the heck I did to my neck last night, but it's been angry at me all day.)

Bright, don't worry about it until it happens. Cars break when you least expect it and waiting for it to break will only add to your stress. I've been driving around with the Service Engine Soon light on since I got this car. I'm fine with it but if it were to shut off, then I'd worry. I've got a few other lights on, too, and I don't care about those, either. Sucks your sister can't take some of the driving load. Can you drive her car at all?

I bought a really cute sweatshirt a few weeks ago and it's finally cold enough to wear it....and someone left the theft-protection ink thing on it. So I'll have to go back to the store to get it off. How do you even miss that?

Got the short story off to the editor with four hours to spare on my deadline. My record for not missing an official deadline is intact . . . albeit a few Sisyphus deadlines have been shifted due to big puppy eyes at Cobra.

Now to get back to the stories that don't have deadlines and force myself to work on them as diligently as I did this last one.

*sigh* I think college trained me too well. If I don't have a hard deadline, it's way to easy to push things off (End of semester isn't for three more months . . . plenty of time . . . *snooze*).

starrystorm said:

I bought a really cute sweatshirt a few weeks ago and it's finally cold enough to wear it....and someone left the theft-protection ink thing on it. So I'll have to go back to the store to get it off. How do you even miss that?

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It happens more often than you might think. The problem is, that should have set off the alarms when you left, so something wasn't working right.

Today is my Saturday. I slept late and I'm still trying to get my act together so I can be productive. But I have ice cream to churn, so that helps.

If I had extra vacation days, I would have taken today off. Cold, rainy, and windy. Incredibly lousy weather to work in. Tomorrow is going to be cold as well, but at least mostly dry. I'm currently drinking some tea to offset the perpetual chill I had all day.

Ted - Much of the issue is in the sibling's mind, unfortunately... and she can make everyone else so miserable sometimes it's just easier not to ask.

*waves to other people*

Wednesday afternoon, and the predicted wind and rain mostly skewed north (for now), so the weather has been significantly less dramatic than predicted. In fact, it's been downright dull. Fifteenth season of a show that should've ended after the third year dull. Lecture from a professor who stopped caring about their subject thirty years ago and about life in general two years after that dull. Beige paint quality control inspector dull.

Work was a place I went and a thing I did.

Shopping occurred.

Now I'm chilling. Dinner's already dealt with - deli fried chicken with deli potato salad - so no prep time means I can goof off for another hour or so.

I live, and am officially post-op. Resting in a hotel room where my mom can stay with me through tomorrow.

themindstream said:

I live, and am officially post-op. Resting in a hotel room where my mom can stay with me through tomorrow.

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That's great news! I hope you're able to recover quickly.


I just finished a test batch of pumpkin ice cream that came out pretty well. I'm glad I did a test batch because there are some modifications that need to be made.

Right now, I'm getting ready to bake. Pumpkin dump cake and then pumpkin cookies. It's just that time of year and I'm in the mood.

themindstream - Hooray for successful surgery!

Ted - That's a lot of pumpkin. Much more, and a fairy godmother is going to try turning your kitchen into a coach.

It is, but I have a ton of it to use. Between the ice cream, the cookies, and the cake, I still have about 2/3 of what I started out with left. But my kitchen smells amazing and I've got plenty of sweets to dig into. But it just occurred to me that I haven't decided on what to have for dinner. Oops.

Friendly Frog said:

You know, I never quite got that. I mean, I can sort of understand it from a cathartic point of view: to blow off some steam while you are writing because your story world is at least a world you can control completely. Maybe it's different for me because I never stepped outside short stories and one spends a lot less time with characters in short stories. But to me torturing your characters doesn't necessarily mean you'll have a better story because of it. Or maybe it's because I, personally, don't really see the appeal of stories where everything goes bad for the main character. And as a reader, I have stopped reading certain books because of that. Unless everybody is just using 'torturing their characters' ironically and I'm too unsubtle to notice...

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I always took this as a variant of the "no conflict = no story" adage. Without trouble, you have nothing to write about and your character can't grow. Or not; Poe got away with it, after all. But then again, he was Poe. We can't all be tortured geniuses.

E.F.B. said:

ETA: Heat generating yarn is now a thing: https://www.mooglyblog.com/heat-wave-yarn-review/ And while I see the appeal of it if you do a lot of outdoor things during the cold months, I can't help wondering how it does that??? (The manufacturer isn't telling.) And why is there a warning not to put it in the microwave or expose it to high frequencies? High frequencies of what, and does the average person even know when or where they're being exposed to high frequencies? What happens if it's exposed to those things? I NEED TO KNOW!

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I saw a review of this yarn the other day. I love the concept. But the price? Yikes! It's too expensive to be worth more than the most cursory experiments.

LadyV said:

Just throwing out a question here: would it be weird for someone to develop powers later in life? Most characters seem to come into powers when they're kids or teens, but what about someone developing them when they're, say, 30? I have a theory as to why, but I was curious what others think.

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Sorry for being late to this conversation, but I ADORE the idea of this. When kids/teens come into powers, they have the whole "How do I fit superpowers into my life?" question when they're still figuring out where they fit in the world, powers or no powers. But taking somebody who already has figured this part out? They have a job and maybe looking to start a family and and suddenly wham! Deal with fireballs and X-ray vision while dealing with PTA and mortgages! A whole new dynamic! So much story potential. Heck, what about middle age? You thought you'd retire, maybe do a little traveling? NOPE! Time to start finding a superhero costume!

Jeez. I just suddenly imagined what my middle-aged boobs would look like in spandex. Not a pretty thought.

jallenecs said:

Jeez. I just suddenly imagined what my middle-aged boobs would look like in spandex. Not a pretty thought.

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Unless gravity defiance is part of your superpowers.

Suddenly I want that superpower, come to think of it. I can imagine a lot of applications.

I'm a kind person who generally says re-assuring things to people when they have those moments of self-doubt and negativity directed at themselves or how they look. So I always have to catch myself from saying, in times like these, "Oh, your boobs are fine" or "I've seen your pics and I like your boobs."

Sometimes, it's best to just let stuff go.


I'm working on which NaNo project I'm going to do this year and I've boiled it down to two different novels. One is a comedy and the other is a gut-punch mainstream story that is so close to home that I'll end up leaving blood on the paper. I'm not sure which one I'll do.

TedTheewen said:

I'm a kind person who generally says re-assuring things to people when they have those moments of self-doubt and negativity directed at themselves or how they look. So I always have to catch myself from saying, in times like these, "Oh, your boobs are fine" or "I've seen your pics and I like your boobs."

Sometimes, it's best to just let stuff go.

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Yeah, there's probably no way to come out clean on that conversation.

And it's okay, I'm not down on ME. I'm down on this disease and the havoc it's wreaked on my body. Not to go full trailer trash, but I used to have a FABULOUS rack. One of my few claims to beauty.

in other news, remember how I was writing that story to go into the Makers' Competition at the steampunk convention? Well, I finished the story, and I'm pretty darned happy with it. But I chickened out on going to the con. Seriously, they've changed venues, which means a four hour drive deep into the mountains. Travel is unfun with Crohn's. And then my kids are stuck pushing my wheelchair around and I hate that. So they're going without me, so they can go have fun without having to worry about ol' Mom.

Instead, I'm going to stay home with my husband. It'll be our first time in .... well, many years, that we've spent the night without at least one offspring in the house. I think he and I can find SOMETHING to entertain us....

jallenecs - I'd think a middle-aged superhero(ine) would find a more practical outfit than spandex; seriously, apart from looking cool in cover shots, is it really good for anything?
And I hope you enjoy your weekend of Chutes and Ladders! (That is what you were going to do, with the kids out of the house, right? Or were you thinking Candyland? )

Ted - Flip a coin, maybe. Or hybridize them; a gut-punch comedy.

About to head off for the night. Got a couple course videos down, managed a little spitballing, still nowhere near another story idea, though. Sigh. Really should go back and try to clean up some unfinished monstrosity, maybe...

Brightdreamer said:

jallenecs - I'd think a middle-aged superhero(ine) would find a more practical outfit than spandex; seriously, apart from looking cool in cover shots, is it really good for anything?
And I hope you enjoy your weekend of Chutes and Ladders! (That is what you were going to do, with the kids out of the house, right? Or were you thinking Candyland? )

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I was thinking Old Maid, but hey, Chutes and Ladders, ooh, how daring! Me likey! You naughty thing!

Brightdreamer said:

As for the question about books I'd be poorer for not having read... gah, you do not have that kind of time. Tailchaser's Song and the Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn trilogy by Tad Williams. The Temeraire series by Naomi Novik (even though it petered out by the end.) Jeremy Thatcher, Dragon Hatcher by Bruce Coville. The Animorphs series by K. A. Applegate. Dragons in the Stars and Dragon Rigger by Jeffrey A. Carver. The Expanse series by James S. A. Corey. The Hatchet/Brian Robeson books by Gary Paulsen. The Fairyland series by Catherynne M. Valente. The Wayward Children books by Seanan McGuire ... If you're looking for my favorite recent reads, The Imaginary Corpse by Tyler Hayes and Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell.

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Lots of good things to read there that I haven't yet! I LOVED Jeremy Thatcher as a kid. I even drew a ton of pictures of the dragon at the time. Man, I haven't read that in eons.

TedTheewen said:

Tiddly, I know several people who all broke their backs skydiving and spent the rest of their lives on disability and in chronic, constant pain. If you were to announce that you were going to give it a try, I'm afraid I'd have to stage an intervention, and I doubt a single jury in the country would deny that it was for your own good.

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...people broke their BACKS? Holy rat patooties, yep, definitely not skydiving.

E.F.B. said:

I'd back you up on that. I just don't understand the desire to fling one's self out of an airplane and hurtle towards the ground, all the while trusting that hopefully that parachute's going to open.

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Cross my heart, I'm not going to sky-dive. I only mildly thought about doing it when I was about 15 years younger and bounced a lot better when I hit the ground, let's put it that way.

TedTheewen said:

Oh, I totally get it, and if I were smaller and in shape, I'd think about doing it. I've had a ton of friends over the years who were in the military and they all loved it. But in the case of our dear Tiddly, to call her "accident prone" is to massively understate the grave peril she is often in when eating oatmeal, much less jumping out of a perfectly good airplane.

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HEY, I CAN EAT OATMEAL JUST FINE.

...as long as it's not too hot and I burn my tongue. But that hardly ever happens.

But speaking of being accident prone, this is why I haven't taken up mountain biking. I thought about doing it, but waited too long, methinks. Now all I hear are my bones breaking as I ponder riding down the hillsides up near Lake Superior...*sigh*

I prefer to be able to hike. Airboot casts are not conducive to hiking.

Though I HAVE been getting a hankering to try ultimate frisbee again. With cleats this time. Hmm...

Meanwhile, I'm back to kickboxing a couple times a week! And soon, indoor rock climbing. And then it will be the season for skiing and snowshoeing.

Ooh! Maybe this will be the winter I finally try snow-kiting!

tiddlywinks said:

.... not skydiving .... mountain biking .... hiking ....ultimate frisbee .... kickboxing .... indoor rock climbing .... skiing and snowshoeing .... snow-kiting!

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JEALOUS!!!! I wanna ride horses again. It's been ages. No way to get my sad butt up into a saddle again, though. With you on the not-skydiving. I have a terrible fear of heights. Truth be told, it's not the falling part that troubles me. It's that sudden stop at the bottom. Kinda splashy.

Richard White said:

*sigh* I think college trained me too well. If I don't have a hard deadline, it's way to easy to push things off (End of semester isn't for three more months . . . plenty of time . . . *snooze*).

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I understand that feeling. Ever since college I've sworn I'm not procrastinating a deadline until the day of ever again. No staying up till 3 am for that reason ever again, at least not if I can help it.

@midstream Glad you're okay!

@Junely I miss riding, too. They're special animals. I may not have the same goals now as when I was a teen (becoming a horse trainer) but they still hold a special place in my heart. Tbh, there's a part of me that figures horse training, or at least owning horses doesn't have to be a complete no-go. When I'm old and rich from my successful writing career* horses can be part of my retirement plan.


Morning, Cantina. We got some of that wind and rain yesterday and I officially wore long sleeves and a scarf for the first time this year. Still wearing them today because coooooold. Like someone my dad knew once said, around here it's like the weather angel, who's been asleep all summer, suddenly wakes up, realizes it's fall, flips a switch and BOOM it's cold. Some words got done yesterday, too. No a lot, but some. Hoping to do more today.


*yes, I know full well writing isn't likely to actually make me rich, but if I'm going to dream, might as well go big, right?

Thursday morning, a bit breezy and damp out there, and heading off to work soonish.

Fingers crossed I don't have to shop my way home, but I think I'm supposed to go to a store anyway. (When Dad was out shopping on Monday he lost a lens to his glasses, which he'd been carrying in a pocket after not telling anyone it had come out. For some reason, it's apparently on me to drive up there after work and ask if it was turned in to lost & found. Gah... He's had cataract surgery, so he can get by without glasses, but still... can't blame him for being 90 with a slipping mind, but I can quietly grumble at the sibling for not giving enough of a dang to drive five miles to a store for the sake of her father.)

Guess I'd best get moving. We're getting an oil delivery some time today, and I don't want to be trapped when they show up, if they show up early.

I have to go leave my apartment and I really don't want to. But, unfortunately, I kinda have to. It's chilly outside.

jallenecs said:

I was thinking Old Maid, but hey, Chutes and Ladders, ooh, how daring! Me likey! You naughty thing!

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I like Old Maid, but Mr.JJ won’t wear the maid costume any more. Not sure what his problem is.

TedTheewen said:

I have to go leave my apartment and I really don't want to. But, unfortunately, I kinda have to. It's chilly outside.

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Its suddenly turned into autumn here, too, and I’m remembering everything I don’t like about cold weather. And going outside. And going outside in cold weather.

Sir Elton John's autobiography, Me, came out on the 15th, and I was at the Seattle Public Library yesterday where they had multiple copies. So naturally I checked one out. My first crush ever was on Sir Elton, decades ago. I cut pictures of him out from newspapers and my cousin's Rolling Stone, and kept them nearly folded inside a well-hidden pencil case. From time to time I would unfold them, stare for a second, squeak, then put them back, barely able to process the heady feelings they produced.

The bio is very very good, more involving than Pete Townsends'. Some of it I remember from an earlier biography, written by someone else, that I read at age 12. That biography ended in 1974. I was so inspired by it I attempted to create an Elton John graphic novel biography on lined looseleaf paper from school.

As I said I'm enjoying the story, but apparently it triggered something in me -- I had a HORRIBLE nightmare last night. These nightmares aren't of the usual type where you're being chased by a serial killer or have to watch your child being molested. These are nightmares of emotion. In the dream I was in debilitating despair, being cared for by my mother, who is deceased, filled with feelings of being lost, socially isolated, futureless, jobless, trapped. I'm still reeling from it. In the dream I was crying rivers of tears and in acute mental pain.

I thought that reading the description of Elton John's childhood abuse and his frank feelings about it triggered it. (To me that's no reason to stop reading the book though.) But now I think that revisiting the life story that I was first obsessed about as a 12-year-old projected me back into the mindset of that 12-year-old girl, feeling trapped and isolated in my life with no way out, feelings I couldn't really feel at the time because they would have overwhelmed me. I existed in a dream world then because to perceive the reality would have led to panic and despair.

I'm still a little shaky and unsure of myself as I type this.

Really sorry you had that nightmare and that it caused you such rough feelings, CJ. I know there are times something I saw or read reminded me of a time of life when I was having some emotional issues and it scared me because it's too easy to remember how I felt back then. Nightmares that make you relive it are even worse. Be extra kind to yourself today, and remember what a beautiful, valuable human being you are. <3