Tension in short stories

Erian Dragonborn

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Hi!

I came to this forum because last weekend, I tried to write a short Sci-fi-thriller-horror-tension story. (I don't quite know how to describe it O:) )

Because the questions might be specific, here's a summary:
The main character lives in a world that is slightly ahead of us when it comes to technology. They have something in their brains that controlls what they get to see, remember etc. and these implants are controlled by their work place, the government and whoever else. They don't know about them.
The implant of the MC gets buggy, and he starts to see weird things (people appearing and disappearing. That kind of stuff)
Not knowing about the thing, he thinks he is going mad.

I was facing a few problems with it. I'm not surprised, as I wrote it as a writing excercise, but here are some things I like to ask about. How do/would you solve them?

1. Making the world mundane, but not boring.
In longer stories, you can more easilly show that the world is a lot like ours. In a short story, I find it harder. I have the MC go to work, and show that he has a routine, but I'm not sure if that's enough.

2. Varying tension.
I have a hard time resolving tension once I'm a bit further in the story. First, it's fine. The MC gets hit by a car, gets annoyed by it, and goes back to normal life. Later, he sees a person that just disappears, gets quite freaked out, and from then on I feel like it's just building up tension, never really releasing it untill the end. What tricks do you use to release tension?

3. Leaving the reader with a nagging feeling.
Just in general, I want the reader to question the world we live in and our own technology. How to you manage to leave a question with the reader? Any tips?

Thanks for reading! I hope anyone can give me tips on this. I want to improve my short story tension writing, as that is a genre I'm not familiar with.
 

shortstorymachinist

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I think showing they have a routine similar to many other people's is a perfectly acceptable way to convey that they live in a world like ours. In fact, I think the reader will come to the story with expectations of normalcy. In my experience, deftly conveying how things are different or fantastical (no info dumps, no As You Know Bob dialogue, etc.) is much harder.

Regarding your second two points, you could foreshadow a few different resolutions to this weirdness the MC is experiencing, then resolve the tension part way through the narrative with a red herring. A genre savvy reader will probably suspect it's a red herring, but if you do it well enough then they won't be able to "prove" anything to themselves, which results in a nagging feeling as they wait for the plot to take further twists, and they also wait to see which (if any) of the story turns they've managed to predict correctly.
 

divine-intestine

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I have the MC go to work, and show that he has a routine, but I'm not sure if that's enough.

First you need to ask yourself why the reader needs to read about your MC travelling to work. Is there any conflict in his journey to work or is it just a series of events? If it's the latter, I'd suggest to cut that part. Showing a mundane world can be done with details. Think about your own journey to work: what mundane things do you see as a routine every single day? I can think of a couple, but I'm not sure they'd be interesting in a story unless I spice them up first.

Always think "conflict". That gives drama, which heightens the tension (and sort of answers your second question).

I have a hard time resolving tension once I'm a bit further in the story. First, it's fine. The MC gets hit by a car, gets annoyed by it, and goes back to normal life.

He only gets "annoyed" by it? Nothing more happens?

3. Leaving the reader with a nagging feeling.
Just in general, I want the reader to question the world we live in and our own technology. How to you manage to leave a question with the reader? Any tips?

Again, this can be done "between the lines" and in the details you provide. Foreshadowing, for example, is a powerful tool to use in that regard.
 

Harlequin

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I'd describe my short story as a series of events, with only three "encounters", one of which is 100% conversation.

I dunno. I never really got the whole conflict and tension thing. I just tweak until my betas stop rolling their eyes >.>

That said it sounds like there is a overarching disconnect between your events. Even in absurdist stories and novels, you generally need things to roll into each other. Perhaps build on his growing sense of things being wrong, and have the ongoing tension focus on your character's attempts to convince himself all is as normal?

eg he goes to work and notes how everything is the way it is suppsoed to be, takes comfort in his routine--inject his personality, insecurity, concerns, observations, into everything.
 

mafiaking1936

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This sounds similar to the Black Mirror episode "Men Against Fire." It might be helpful to watch that because it does a very good job of all the things you asked about.
 

blacbird

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Short stories, more than novels, really need to begin in medias res. You don't want to start with backstory, explanations, etc. The tension needs to be there immediately. A couple of example beginnings:

1. The boy sat on the porch steps and let the warm September breeze ruin the careful combing of his hair. He could hear his parents inside, behind the closed door, still arguing.


2. Maybe the tourniquet had stopped the bleeding. At least slowed it enough.

The reader doesn't need to know immediately the details of the characters involved here. All the reader needs is for the writer to establish a level of trust that there is a story going forward, worth following. Something is happening; in fact, something has already happened. Details will arrive as needed.

caw
 

Lady Ice

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Hi!

I came to this forum because last weekend, I tried to write a short Sci-fi-thriller-horror-tension story. (I don't quite know how to describe it O:) )



I was facing a few problems with it. I'm not surprised, as I wrote it as a writing excercise, but here are some things I like to ask about. How do/would you solve them?

1. Making the world mundane, but not boring.
In longer stories, you can more easilly show that the world is a lot like ours. In a short story, I find it harder. I have the MC go to work, and show that he has a routine, but I'm not sure if that's enough.

2. Varying tension.
I have a hard time resolving tension once I'm a bit further in the story. First, it's fine. The MC gets hit by a car, gets annoyed by it, and goes back to normal life. Later, he sees a person that just disappears, gets quite freaked out, and from then on I feel like it's just building up tension, never really releasing it untill the end. What tricks do you use to release tension?

3. Leaving the reader with a nagging feeling.
Just in general, I want the reader to question the world we live in and our own technology. How to you manage to leave a question with the reader? Any tips?

Thanks for reading! I hope anyone can give me tips on this. I want to improve my short story tension writing, as that is a genre I'm not familiar with.

in a short story, you don’t need to have a tension release until the end, although the events should have a purpose, not just there for drama. Unless told or shown otherwise I think people will automatically assume the fictional world is similar to their world.


Blacbird’s advice is really good. What if you start the story with the car crash? Perhaps the guy was doing his daily commute when it happened. He gets to work late but he can’t shake off the feeling that it wasn’t an accident. That way, you’ve established normalcy and upped the stakes.

Concentrate on telling a good story and why you’re telling it, then that will leave the reader with questions.