awkward moments...

At an old workplace I stayed past 5 pm for a little company party and one of our engineers sat next to me. This was the end of a long day so I was completely burnt out, and one of our engineers sat next to me. We started talking about where we went to school and he must have said "I went to X school for my education." But somehow I heard him say "degree in education," which surprised me.

So I asked him "Education?"
And he said "Yeah I got my mechanical engineering degree at X university"
"Oh. I thought you said you had some education in there."
He stared at me.

It wasn't until the next day I realized it sounded like I called him uneducated.

My family wrote the book on awkward pauses:

I am at a wedding, a big formal affair. The ceremony has just ended and everyone is milling around, visiting, waiting for the reception. It is my nephew's wedding, my nephew Cody. My nephew Tanner is a groomsman and the bridal party is waiting for the photographer to take pictures-- specifically they are waiting for a hay wagon--yeah. I should have added that this is a formal western Kansas wedding. Everyone, even the bride, is wearing boots. But that is neither here nor there in this particular awkward moment. My nephew Tanner is 28 years old but acting sulky and sad. He's a big kid so it is a big sulky--and sulky is even bigger in an evening jacket and tie and boots. Still, an aunt hates to see her nephew sulking when everyone else is going in to cake and dancing.

I ask my sister in law why Tanner is so unhappy. She is mother of the groom so really too busy to talk but she explains that Tanner's girlfriend was not invited to the wedding because they had broken up months ago, but in the last hours they have reconciled and now Tanner wants her at his side. Only he can't go to pick her up for the dinner and dance because he has to wait for the photographer. And neither can any of his siblings, because they are in the wedding party, too.

Now I live in another town so don't know the particulars of the affair, but do know the family does not like Tanner's girlfriend because she is a little older than he is, a reputed histrionic and hypochondriac. But hey, love is love and I am a doting aunt, so I pull out my car keys and say I have time to pick girlfriend up, just give me the address and tell her I am on my way.

My sister in law is one of my oldest friends and we have never quarreled, ever, still, she fixes me with an icy look and then smiles--icily. "Fine. Senior Towers, apartment 38--third floor. You'll have to go up and get her. She walks with a cane."

Now there is only one old folks home in town and it is the Senior Towers. I have always thought I was fast on my thinking feet, but all I could do was boggle and gasp --You are shitting me?

I drive around a lot during the day visiting schools. Sometimes I take my lunch with me. A while back ago I decided I was tired of the same old soup or rice and beans in my Thermos, so I cut up a baked potato and put it into the Thermos. When I sat down in the teacher's lounge to enjoy my meal, this cute teacher came in and sat down across from me. He watched me add sour cream and cheese to my Thermos and asked me what I was having. When I told him about the potato he said that was a great idea. Excited now that a cute guy had complimented my creativity, I blurted out, "Yeah, I've done it with soup and rice before, but never with a baked potato."

*chirp, chirp*